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the little star

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[16 Nov 2003|01:48pm]
[ mood | happy ]

i got intouch with nick. he's ok. i miss him. he wants his company back. i want him back. =)
today i deleted over 3/4's of my buddy list i now only have 23 ppl and 2 of them are me. hehe fun. no one know's about this journal i have never told anyone about it but my mom. i find that amuzing. i mean i love my friends but sometimes i let myself be vulnerable and then i lie to myself in these journals espcially the ones that my friends coment and read. because in there i could never say that i have thought seriously about cutting off all my hair. i've mentioned it to a few ppl that are my "friends" guess what the most common reply is to that.... "if you do i'll kill you" it's that sweet. not like i have that much hair left anymore anyways.... see as i already cut off about 2 1/2 ft. last year.
o well i will do that someday it's a promise i'm making to myself.
i'm going to join raiders. i'm gonna start on thursday. i hope that i'll be able to get a ride home and then a ride to work. i hope that i will be able to balance it all perfectly. i really want to be able to do that.
i'm at church right now and soon we are gonna go and pick chloe up and go to my grandparent's house. :note to self - must remember to bring my homework to grandparent's house:
ok i'm gonna go hang out with my mom.
love love.

the little star
this is my story

canada [19 Oct 2003|02:04pm]
[ mood | content ]

nick moved to canada and i went to his going away party and found out that he liked another chick. although i bet if i didn't know that and he had stayed here. we could have dated. cause i think he sorta liked me too. but i am really grateful for jon and dave and everyone else in my life. that cheers me up. basically manda and nikk and anthony and yah.
well coming up. i'm going to my grandparents house for dinner and i am illegaly using the computer at church and manda went out with jason for a bit but isn't anymore cause he is/was/forever will be an asshole. but o well, i pray for him.
kat and fe and nessa are all good. and so is kendra. although fe likes holly and holly likes kat and kat well i'm not sure who she likes at the moment. while fe has a boyfriend and so does holly. and nessa likes kat but i think she's over that now. and i hope no one ever finds this.
logan wants to join y.o.u. but he wasn't at church today. so idunno. and chloe is at liz's house and soon we will go get her and then go to wal-mart. lindsey was going to spend the night last night but she didn't and she's still going out with bradley (again) and last night i went to a sweat lodge for the first time and it was good. and i went to a class on learning about healing with gemstones. and i got a whole bunch of neat stones.
and i know what i'm gonna give manda for her birthday and alex for hers. and i just say alex the other day and it was great seeing her cause i hadn't seen her in like a week or two. so that's all good.
i've only sold like 10 candy bars for jrotc so at least i'm a 1/4 of the way done. o well i've only had it for a few days.
hmmm. i think that's it.

the little star
this is my story

[04 Oct 2003|02:14pm]
guess what! i got a job! yay.
this is my story

keeping the door open [27 Sep 2003|02:09pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

My inner child is ten years old today

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

this is my story

relieved [27 Sep 2003|01:31pm]
[ mood | all better ]

okey all better now,
i realize that it has only been a few moments but i do feel better now. i guess writting it down helped allot.
thankyou dear blurty journal!!!

the little grateful star
this is my story [27 Sep 2003|01:15pm]
[ mood | shocked ]

o my god. i was just at the site and it is highly freaky. lesbian pics, gay pic, "hardcore" crap, i think i just added like 15 new words to my vocabulary. it's freaky cause i got hot on the lesbian shit, but then i was like omygod those penises are huge, who the fuck would want that shoved into their body. i don't think i'm lesbian, but i might be bi.
i've never really tested anything. i haven't had sex, i'm only 14 (altho that isn't exacly anything)
so i'm writting all this shit down so that i can be more comfortable with my skin in which i preside. i think most of the reason why i stayed on that site is cause i was curious and i think i possibly even liked it altho i know that it is uterly stupid and immature (altho some would argue that those pics were for "mature" audiences only).
so i'm gonna delete all that from my memory.
bye bye.

the little freaked out star
this is my story

the past [27 Sep 2003|10:20am]
[ mood | hungry ]

in the past i was friends with benefits with a guy named jason. that sorta ended like in febuary. sorta. he went out with a girl named Katy, who is now one of my friends. and i called him the other day cause i was bored wanted to talk to a guy and i didn't have anyone else's number. anywho he's going good. and i am just me. but i am hoping that his sister doesn't think that i want to do anything with him cause i don't and if i think about it then it'll become a possiblility and i don't want it to be a possiblility. plus i have a feeling that my friend amanda likes him possibly. i'm not sure tho.
farewell. momentarily. i'm hungery.

the little star
this is my story

the invite [26 Sep 2003|05:13pm]
[ mood | emotional ]

hey. i got invited to a birthday party for saturday. 7-12 and i am able to go!!! yay. my mom is in North Carolina and won't be back till sunday. my sister is spending the night at a friends house tonight and so i get to be here with Christine. i think we are gonna go see matchstick men. that should be a cute movie.
the person who is having the birthday is the kid that i like. or at least he's one of them. and i like him. :) anyways. i also know that 2 other girls do too. his name is Nick. he is my company comander in jrotc.
so i'm hoping that things at his birthday party will go good.
i am feeling a wave of emotion tho and the moment for him.
the thing is that i also like a guy named Jon. and they're friends.... i think. =) anyways that's just me.

i got a reiki attunement on saturday night. and it's been pretty cool. basically the thing i've noticed the most is v. neat dreams.

the little star
this is my story

another begining [26 Sep 2003|04:29pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

this is the story of my life. or at least that is what this will become. i write in different places. and hope to find some solace with the night and the day. i have two other journals on blurty. but i needed a place that is just mine, i don't want to have to freak anyone out and this way when i update i know that i am writting for myself and not for someone else. this is my story. listen to me tell it.

the little star
this is my story

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