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[23 Sep 2003|09:47pm] |
this journal is friends only now
Im not sure who I can and cant trust anymore.
I was giving the public journal a shot but people just abuse everything I say/do so whatever.
♥ xo
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| in your hands |
[23 Sep 2003|07:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 dirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Early November x Sunday Drive |
] |
I took a nap. I feel a little better, but now I feel dirty :/ fucken a.
aww Erica got a blurty! woo  devalspirit
Im thinkin bout makin this journal friends only. I dunno. we'll see....
♥
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| who will stop me now? |
[23 Sep 2003|02:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Matchbook Romance x Save Yourself |
] |
I fucken hate Tuesdays. theyre like Mondays for me for some reason.
Im just so glad to be home. ::sigh::
sorry about the bitching last night. I just needed to vent...badly.
today was alright. Lee came up to me at the end of gym class today and actually talked to me for the first time since the last show I was at, which was Ghoulstock. he said he tried calling me on Sunday or something but I wasnt home. I dont remember what I did Sunday? but yeah..atleast he called me? hes a cute kid. but I felt bad cause Brandon kept trying to talk to me while I was talking to Lee and he just kinda walked away :/ I lost his number, so hopefully he calls me again later and we can talk. :]
Im so fucken lonely. it bugged me a lot for some reason today. I just kept like watching all the couples today doing their cute shit. :/ it made me feel crappy. and then Nick kept blabbing about how beautiful Bokaluv was and Manny kept telling me how this girl is in love with him and how he doesnt want her and I dunno. :'[ this week sucks.
we got our school pictures back today. I look like a fucken cow. my shirt made me look all fat and whenever I smile my cheeks like puff out or something. gay
Im kind of looking forward to seeing my dad again in December. I wish he still lived in Jersey though. its fun being on a train..but it only lasts until we get into Baltimore (which is about 3 hours right there). then after that, everything is the same cause then we hit Virginia. and its just tiny little shacks every 30 miles in fields of nothing. :/ a;lkjf;laskjfd anyway..
as soon as I got home today I got changed into my marching band tshirt and my old Triton gym shorts. comfyness. i didnt even bother to take a shower haha. Im such a skank.
last night Felchie told <3 that I suck. but whatever.. if shes just going by the shit that Holly and Larn say about me then I dont care. why are people so judgemental? why do they even care?
I think Im gonna take a nap or something.
♥
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| quiz |
[22 Sep 2003|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Ataris x The Last Song I Will Ever Write About a Girl |
] |
I am 76% Emo
Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater.
Take the Emo Test at fuali.com
-:edited:-
I didnt go bowling. sorry..
♥
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| literate+stylish |
[22 Sep 2003|07:34pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Thrice x Kill Me Quickly |
] |
I dont even know why I bother. Im going to be single and lonely for the rest of my friggen life. Im going to end up like my mom: marry once, get divorced, stay single for a few years, get married again, pop out 2 kids, get divorced, stay single and date random perverts and become bitter and old. I already fucken know it.
I fucken hate people dude. I really do. I hate boys. I dont know why I bother. and I hate girls. boys are fuckers and girls are just bitches. a;lsdkjf;laksjdf;lkasdjf
anyway...
I dont know if Im going to go bowling tonight with Erica and Bokaluv. I highly doubt it. I finished my chores and stuff so I can go. its just that..I dont know. I feel like sitting at home and crying.
I already know nothing is going to happen between me and <3. Ill be lucky if we even become friends. but I have shit for luck, so yeah. I dont know why I even bothered in the first place.. sometimes I dont know why I even fucken care.
just shut up..
oh and..uh yeah thanks to a *certain someone* for fucken being a douche bag to me. you really fucken hurt my feelings and you actually made me cry the second I stepped into the locker room. I never cry infront of people like that until I get home from school. but you really fucken hit me hard. I fucken trusted you with somethings I did and you go and blabbed it to literally 15 people right in front of me. fuck you!
♥
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| bleep |
[22 Sep 2003|09:33am] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the mole |
] |
yeah so.. I feel like shit today. my chest hurts and all that fun stuff :'[ fucken cold..
Im in Desktop Publishing class. its so friggen early :/
Im going to fucken kill Jamie. I cleaned up the house all nice and stuff for mom when she got home in the morning. that little fucker must have gotten up and ate something last night cause when I woke up this morning the house was a mess :'[ now Im gonna be in trouble.
I cant wait to go hoooome...
♥
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| wee |
[21 Sep 2003|11:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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dirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Used x Blue and Yellow |
] |
Taking Back Sunday layout.. yes no?
I hung out with Bokaluv and Jerrybean tonight. I had fun.
Jamie finally saw the turtles haha. we named em, too.. mine is Rere, cause hes all spazzed out and Jamie named hers Takun. we named turtles..how gay? haha
mom is gone until 7 in the am. Ima sleepin her bed :D
I talked to <3. I got his el numero too. :] him and Felchie were going to Philly so I couldnt hang out with him tonight but maybe tomorrow night hell go bowling with us TITs haha.
shower time..
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| wee |
[21 Sep 2003|11:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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none |
] |
HAPPY BURFDAY SAM!!!! trashy_emo_fan
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| yippee |
[20 Sep 2003|09:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Dashboard Confessional x Remember To Breathe |
] |
mommy and Al took me to Philly today. :D we went to China Town first. I bought Bokaluv a little Buddah man :] and then this old crazy Chinese guy was sellin these baby turtles on the street (illegally, of course) and mom was like "buy one! no buy two!" sooo... now.. I got a dog, a cat, a bird, and 2 baby turtles..plus a mouse comin soon :P I live in a zoo. haha but yeah.. it was like 5 bucks for just one turtle..13 for food + a cage + a turtle, 18 for 2 turtles + food + a cage. not bad.
then we went to South Street. I didnt really buy anything. I got a new belt for 5 buckeroos and then a new 14g for my cartlidge for 5 bucks. not bad. soo..really..today all I spent was like 11 dollars (mom bought the turtles..she said it brings back childhood memories for her :P).
I feel like absolute shit though. I got a crazy cold and sinus bullshit :'[
I havent talked to <3 in a while..4 days me thinks :/
mommy has to pull an all nighter at work tomorrow. me and Jamie are gonna be home alone from like 9 in the pm - 6 in the am :D hooray
Im tired..
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[19 Sep 2003|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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crickets |
] |
yeah well...
I downloaded a blurty thingy. its pretty snazzy...
I sat at home all night and cried. yippee..
I have a cold
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| blah |
[19 Sep 2003|05:06pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Used x Poetic Tragedy |
] |
I feel so empty.
I want someone to come over and hold me while I cry. I feel so lonely right now.
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| la la la |
[19 Sep 2003|01:19pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Glassjaw x Her Middle Name Was Boom |
] |
yay no school todaaaaaaaaaaay. I just woke up :D I slept in my mommy's bed.
I wanna do something tonight cause my mom works late. maybe if <3 gets online, then Ill be like HEY lets hang out or something gay like that. but I dunno.. we'll see.
I wanna change my layout. I asked Sam to make me one like hers, but we'll see. this one is kinda gettin old. haha. Im so..picky.
I hope he talks to me today..
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[18 Sep 2003|06:25pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
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music |
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mom-mom talkin on the phone |
] |
1)First Grade Teacher:Mrs. Becket
2)Last person you kissed: my cat
3) Last song you sang: Yellowcard [Empty Apartment]
4) Last person you hugged: Manny
5) Last thing you laughed at: Kevin
6) Last time you said 'i love you' out loud: uhm...the last time I said it and actually meant it was with Steve...and that was freshman year, around June time.. soooo..about 2 years?
7) Last time you cried: this morning
8) What's in your CD player: LFO, Til Death Do Us Part, and VANS Off The Wall '03
9) What color socks are you wearing: none
10) What's under your bed: nothing, my boxspring is on the floor
11) What time did you wake up today: 6:00am..I got to sleep in an hour and a half! yes!
12) Current taste: Strawberry Banana
13) Current hair: brown/blonde/tint of pink
14) Current clothes: blue plad pl pants, white tank top wif a pink star
15) Current annoyance: loneliness
16) Current longing: a caring romantic boyfriend, who is fun and out going, and all that cutesy fun stuff.
17) Current desktop picture: this thingy I made wif pink stars on it
18) Current worry: playing that a *certain someone* likes me and things go well, passing school
19) Current hate: getting up at 5:30 in the am
20) Story behind your LJ username: its my personality?
21) Current favourite article of clothing: worn out jeans, a band t, and my chuckies
22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite: eyes and hair
23) Last CD that you bought: Taking Back Sunday [Tell All Your Friends]
24) Favourite place to be: with a loved one
25) Least favourite place: the house alone
26) Time you wake up in the morning: 5:30 in the am for la escuela.. other than that, whenever
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: I wanna play the guitar better and sing
28) Favorite color: black, purple, and pink
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: somewhat
30) How tall are you: 5'0
31) Current favourite word/saying: shitfuck, fucker
32) Favorite book: I dunno
33) Favorite season: Fall
34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: my great grandpop
35) Favorite day: friday
36) Where do you want to go: NYC (even though Ive already been there)
37) What is your career going to be like: a rawk stah! :P or a computer tec
38) How many kids do you want: 2 or 3
39) What kind of car will you have: a shit one
40) Type a line you remember from any book: "My thing grew 12 cm this past week" -Adrian Mole
41) A random lyric: "It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
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| wee |
[18 Sep 2003|03:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Matchbook Romance[The Greatest Fall (Of All Time)] |
] |
Im hooooooooooome finally. hooray!
I walked in the rain and wind to get my pictures haha. the one with Billy BARELY turned out. MOTHER FUCKER.
I got a paper in Study Hall today that says I can leave early for the rest of the year if my mommy says I can. hooray!
Im in a blah/happy mood.
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| I miss you so |
[18 Sep 2003|09:04am] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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none |
] |
sitting in 3rd period Desktop Publishing. I feel like shit. I want to cry. Im thirsty. in lunch today, Im just going to buy a Gatoraid or something and then sleep. nobody better fuck with me. Jerry isn't here today..so that means I gotta put up with Nick's bullshit and have no one to talk to :'[
my fucking hip is kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilling me. its all... hard and bruised and bloody and ew. Im gonna attack it with Neosporn or something when I get home.
Im cold.
tomorrow we're gonna die. :'[
the ring guy aint comin today, so now we cant order our rings til next week. oooooooooooooooooh well.
I have a big headache. I wanna go to sleep.
gawd Im being an asshole today.
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| heeeeeadache |
[17 Sep 2003|09:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Yellowcard [Empty Apartment] |
] |
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell...
the library was closed today, so Jerry, Nick, Kevin, and I went back to the cafeteria. I actually talked to Kevin. he was like "Ive never heard you talk. only 3 words have come out of your mouth". I admitted I was shy. then we talked more :]
Bokaluv came over for a bit. I was gonna hang out with Shane<3 but his kitty was sick so he had to take her to the vet. feel better, kitty. I think Im falling in love with a boy Ive known for about 3 days, who I havent even seen in person yet, let alone talk on the phone with him. hes just so..amazing. hes gorgeous. I gave him my number so he could call me whenever and everytime I heard the phone ring, my stomach dropped and I got butterflies. I havent felt that way in yeeeeeeeeeears. I hope this is the one...
we and Boker had a fight about the word 'punctual' and how it was used in a sentence. she was right :/ damn it.
tomorrow we order our class rings.
Friday the hurricane hits. :'[
Im gonna ask Shane<3 if he wants to go to the movies Friday with a bunch of people. I hope he can.
my fucking hip hurts :/ I ran into the gate thingy and its all...hurty-like. :[ I gots a booboo
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| blah |
[17 Sep 2003|09:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nothing |
] |
Im sitting in Desktop Publishing class right now. bored
steph_face <~look at that shit. I did it :D woo. I made the icon and everythin. Im so fucking skilled. I like it better than my current journal haha.
Manny is in my Desktop Publishing class (3rd period). fun times.
Ill update again during study hall (8th)
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| "Jerry, Im going to smack you in the face with my ball sack" -Study Hall Hawt Kid |
[16 Sep 2003|01:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nothing |
] |
....
I want to kiss Shane<3
....
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