i love being me, more now than ever before friday I started the new job, I love it! in some ways it's so easy. once I punch in be it morning or evening shift, I walk thru the kitchen, see that everyone is doing their jobs, and then I go and see what needs to be done. No stress, no anger, we all get along and are on the same page. I love it. friday night I worked til close and then went out til bar time, then came in to work saturday morning and worked til 2 in the afternoon. Went out that night and was out til bar time again. Julie stayed home cause she wanted to do things for mother's day. I wanted to do the same with my mother. The time apart was a mixed thing, part of me realy missed her but anothe rpart was like it was a guys night out type of thing.
went to the german bar for alittle while, did karaoke but wanted to go to the chalet, went there and shot pool with friends til literally bar time. knowing had sunday off I had alot to drink, lol. I am what I am, and I have no qualms about it, or regrets.
Bar time came and a friend named Mike I used to work with wanted to hang out with me more. so we tried to get the chalet to sell us a six pack, but cause it was after last call they couldn't. that's not to say we didn't "find a way" to get beer, lol. I won't say what we did but it was a "major no no" on his part. when you have keys to your jobs and they don't have cameras or a burglar alarm...you can figure it out from there.
went back to my place and we did alot of catch up. we drank til daylight. I haven't done that in such a long time. Slept til the afternoon and went over to spend time with my mother for mother's day. we had a get together there.
If I have this sunday off I think julie and I will go down to chicago saturday afternoon or evening. There's some friends i know I hadn't seen since like 1988. I know they still live in the bad neighborhood they've been in so we may go, up to her as what they do is something she used to do, and I want to make sure she's ok with that. might be "too much temptation" for her. or..we both just might say fuck it and...never mind.
anyway I'm off to work so there you go for an update. having the real me come back out has been such a blast. I am glad that my inner flame can't and won't be dimmed by anyone anymore. it might make me one harsh bastard but hey, tough. This has been the me that has been wanting to come out and I'm glad I did let it out. being sober before was just not me, and it never will. and in the last year I I more than proved what i said to be right, and I'll always have that ultimate satisfaction and validation of that. I proved to be the only one who can do it so in a way, it might be an ego thing, but it's also the truth and that's why it hurts alot of people. some wishe they could do what i do and are jealous because they can't do what I do and do it so easily. I don't fault them, some really can't and then there's people like me, who can. as the neil song I'm listening to says "better to burn out than to fade away".
Current Mood: awesome
Current Music: Neil Young- out of the blue (my my hey hey)