THE TRUE BADASS' Blurty

dollar beer nite.
Title/Description

went to nigs for old school wisconsin beer dollar beer night. old school beers like hamms, pabst blue ribbon, beers i grew up with were a buck a bottle. nigs is like the "biker bar" of the dells area. if you live in NHh it's the "Loud pipes saloon"(In somersworth) so to speak. there were some locals and bikers from out of state there. i didn't know til i walked in i actually know a bartender there, lol. friend of a friend of a friend, lol. she saw me pull up on my harley. they have a decent pool table and their "search mode" on their jukebox is better than the chalet's. I played a long block of robin trower songs while I shot pool with acouple members of the chicago outlaws motorcycle club. they noticed my iron justice m/c shirt (which is a chicago based motorcycle club) and asked me about it. i gave them the story on how it's a law enforcement group and i support it because i have two members who are family (2 cousins, one thru marriage who is now a cok county jail corrections officer and another thru blood who is a chicago cop). told them where i grew up in chi-town and we got along fine. i made them laugh and said "thank god i didn't wear my hell's angels support shirt here", lol. wisconsin is NOT hell's angels territory and if i wear my welcome to club 81 shirt outside the dells, trouble will come big time.

anyway I had fun with shooting pool, drinking my Hamms and then I realized they had the pabst blue ribbon, i was all over that, lol. hamms and pabst blue ribbon were the fist beers i ever drank. hamms was a sponser of chicago cub games back in the day. they had hamms golden draft too and to me it tasted just as good as miller genuine draft. but people won't give it a fair chance because now they consider hamms a lower level beer. if they only knew.

i'm writing this as i'm downloading songs from the bearshare i got earlier today. i'm glad i picked this up because bearshare has shit that limewire doesn't have. different obscure metal stuff i'm feeling very nostalgic, and geting other stuff I never heard like "when a blind man cries" by ian gillan that features jeff healey on guitar. what a jam for a guy who loves shit like this. i'm currently having a steel reserve beer, it's a local wisconsin beer that has 8.1% alcohol in its 16 oz can. yeah, i like the more powerful beers and old school beers. i'm never satisfied when it comes to that, lol.

i got the bearshare as a suggestion from where? a bartender, lol. new guy at the german bar turned me onto this bearshare downloading service. i gave him all sorts of sarcastic shit over the weekend, which is me, being me, lol. i'll actually have to sincerely thank him when i see him later this week because this s one awesome downloading service. it's free and like i said has more tunes than limewire. i'm on this dowloading old Gillan (singer of deep purple, ian gillan) solo stuff which i liked back in the 80's. i bookmarked ian gillan's webpage so i can post some lyrics when i get in that mood again. for ones who like blusey type songs. "when a blind man cries" and "If you beieve" by Gillan are just as good as anything else out there. i'd highly recommend getting these songs. they are awesome to hear.

the bikers appreciated my tastes for robin trower and Gillan i was able to find on the search mode. i had a yearing for something, i still don't know what it is so i decided to leave after amost 3 hours being there.

after i rode over to the chalet. my best friend tim was about to leave with his g/f karen but decided to stay and have acouple beers with me. he hadn't seen me in a few days and we played catch up. karen kinda knows me but can tell things, most women can, lol. they have unusual talent for shit like that. karen said t me, "has anyone told you that you have a wall around you a mile high and a mile thick"? i smiled and said "yeah, i'm aware of it., it's there by choice". i told her how julie wanted me to open up more and how i did. i'm maybe it's my comfort zone to have that wall. i've always liked keeping people at arm's length anyway. every time i let somweone in close something bad always happens so I try not to unless I really f'n have to. I'm a guy who knows lots of people but refuses to let alot of people in close to me. it's been that way for years and after when i was sober and I did my 12 steps. I realized I have that, and i also realized, I'm ok with that. it's better to protect myself so to speak.

ya know...i live among the memories of dead friends and people i no longer have in my life the way they used to be. some could say that's a bad defect but I use it as protection for the simple fact that some people just can't fill the shoes of others I've known. it's days/nights like this that i'm glad i have my own space. julie like i said understands and respects that. tonight is just one of them nights where...i'm glad i'm in my own space. if there's a fear somewhere i either don't know what it is or i've buried it so deep inside me i can't find it. i know she'd like me to commit to acouple things but I'm just...I don't know. i like having that wall around me, that "shell" that at one time someone was able to shatter. maybe i'm afraid of letting someone get past it again. or maybe i've just setled into how i like being, a sarcastic prick who's only a man who has nice moments. a role I've known so well for so very long tat after awhile...as i was once told a long time ago. fake it until you make it. pretend to be someone else until that someone becomes you. maybe that someone has been me all along and I never really realized it.

I know i'm rambling with no real point to all this. I'll probably won't remember i wrote any of this when i wake up later today. and i'll probably wnder why i even wrote it. but as my icon says, everything happens for a reason so there's a reason why I dug into this part of my soul and let this out. what it is, who knows, probably just to say something about it and get it out of my system like i usually do. whatever...shit is how it is and some things you can't change no matter how much you'd wish you could. maybe i'm the only one who knows what that last sentence is about. if you can figure it out, good for you. is ure the fuck aren't gonna openly say. it's best to leave some things where they're at.

I'll leave you with this line from an old song by Manowar called "death tone". "hear me ride on into the night, pull along side if you're looking for a fight".

Current Music: The Stereophonics- Maybe Tomarrow (my anthem)