letting more feelings come thru so here it is another update.
some people just never learn, Jenny tried to pull something on me and yesterday it pretty much flopped. I won't say here what it was but it showed, especially when you have someone backing up your story(like I had with someone on my side) that lies will always be shot down when the truth is told and backed up. Maybe now she'll learn that her antics fall short no matter what she tries to do because most know the truth about her anyways.
I've been telling people I know here abouit How Debbie is coming here for a week when spring comes. I tell you, first hand, I can't wait for that to happen. Like I said in my last post when you have that one true love and soulmate. If it's meant for them two to be together then God will make it happen if it's in his plan.
God is making it happen for debbie and I. I saw a very recent picture of her and I'll openly tell you. If I saw her for the very first time today, I'd be as highly attracted to her as I still am today. Her looks are to me, just so stunning. they say a fine wine gets better with age. to me her looks are almost age defying in some ways, to me she just gets more and more gorgous. Most guys always seem to just want her for just one reason, which in a way I can understand, but there's so much more to her that I have seen thru the years. The song by Berlin "Take my breath away" can describe easily exactly what she does for me.
I officially met her at a dance in Maine, thanks to a guy screwing up on a song and trying to be funny at her expense(outside wheile alot of us were having a cigarette). I was able to come to her defense, which hence, opened a spot where I could introduce myself to her. a few days later I was able to sit with her and things just started. a few weeks later I gathered the guts(in an unusual way, which wasn't the original plan I had in mind mind you) to ask her out. I did and how things went it felt so right, being with her was like if you find the genie in the lamp and the genie grants you the one ultimate wish you could ever have. That's what it felt like to be with Debbie.
I know she's had her bad times, I wanted to show her that sometimes, just sometimes, a guy will want to know her for her and be with her for her. I was lucky enough to be able to do just that. Which i think is why we always seem to come full circle back to each other. it always feels so "right" when her and I come back full circle and if it happens more than once, which it has, then there's an obvious sign there that needs to be looked at.
I looked at it, relooked at it, and relooked at it again and the answer always comes up the same. There are no doubts now and I covered all the angles concerning this, to every degree humanly possible. It comes right down to if your head, your heart and the gut line up, then do it. With Debbie, it lines up perfectly, like the most beautiful painting you'll ever see, it lines right up.
me just being me and saying it from the heart worked. not that I think I'm a great talker mind you, I really don't think so. I just what I feel deep in side come out and debbie was the one who broke a shell I had had around me for several years, it was one that even my now ex-wife melody couldn't really break. Somehow I had allowed debbie to crack it and then shatter it, or maybe she just gate crashed thru it. either way, she did it and it brought out the side of me alot of people see now, the one that makes people laugh. her smile and laugh was one of them little things that attracted me so I decided to keep her laughing, something I still do to this day.
I belive, in my heart of hearts, Debbie is the one God had intended for me, she was and still is "the one". The one every decent man wishes and strives for(and guys who want someone like that know what I mean). she is the one you think love songs are written for, the one who makes a cloudy day turn into sunshine.. the one who no matter how bad things are, is the one thing in life you can look to and always smile. God granted me a hell of a wish when I met this woman.
I know we had our bad times and I hurt her alot in the past. it takes two people to love and two people to fight, it also takes two people to hurt each other. I hurt her real bad and she gave me pain too. In the end the situations at that time are not what they are now. Her and I have walked thru alot of emotional hell together, as well as seperately and we always seem to find ourselves back with each other. back together always seems to be the best so now we're not doubting what has been pretty obvious(except for me not seeing it until recently, and her finally admitting it). the obvious is that whatever it is that has kept the chemestry between us going, is still there like it never left. That..is one hell of a sure sign right there.
just watching a movie with her with my arms around her. holding her felt so good, it still will because the feeling of holding her in my arms is beyond anything i had ever imagined what it would be like. another example of it feeling so "right" doing something so simple as that.
she will be here in spring, april or may, and I know her being here for a week will be a week that I wish would never end. I know it will have to because there are things she has to go back to. when her youngest daughter graduates high school, believe me, it won't be long before she'll be here for a week that will never end because she won't have anymore attachments to where she's at now, and her daughter has every right to graduate from where she wants. Debbie being here for a week will be the one wish I never in my dreams ever thought would happen. But it is going to happen and I will be in heaven every moment that she is here.
Debbie. I have loved you from the very first time we were together. I'll never know what it is that keeps me so intensely captivated by you, maybe it's a combination of everything all together that makes you, you. But nobody will ever be able to take my heart like you have. nobody will ever make my world seem so right like you have. They say I don't need a woman to make me feel good but having one is a great bonus, God has given me the ultimate bonus in life again when he decided the plan for you and I to be together again. Nobody here can entice me like you have enticed me thru the years. You debbie are the one I have always dreamed about, the one I that I had hoped to truly walk thru life with, we walked thru hell together and while I can't walk thru fire for you, I'll walk thru it with you, again and again like I have before. You are and will always be the loveliest woman in my heart that walks the graces of God's green earth. I would trade it all away and give it all away for one thing, and that's to be with you the way it's been meant for us to be together. I have never felt this way or this deep for anyone ever in my life. I love you Debbie, from head to toe from the outside to the inside. You are the vision of love that has struck my heart and soul and in alot of ways you made so many dreams come true. Yo'll be doing that again and you are someone that any decent man would be so happy to have in his life. I am the one you chose and some days I wonder why, but then, why wonder when God is the one making it all happen so that way we can do it the way we should've done it before. I love you and my love for you never died, if anything it is stronger now than it'll ever be and you fulfillin g my ultimate wish is something I know is something I feel thoroughly blessed to have happen. words may never truly express my love for you. but do know, life with you in my life nobody has been able to imitate let alone duplicate. You are the roses that never die,the love story that never ends, and when we're finally back where we both belong, God will have a smile on his face knowing he did a good thing, for the both of us.
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: shania twain-from this moment on