dark_love
 
06:05pm 02/03/2005
  My site, dealing mostly in self injury has been updated. If you would like to contribute poetry, stories, pictures, or anything let me know. E-mail me at: psychoxxsarah@hotmail.com
I am here to educate and learn as well. If you read the main page that I've linked you to, then you will know nearly everything you need to know about my site. This isn't for publicity because I want to be cool, it is because I have re-done the site, added to it, and hope for it to become a helping tool, as well as a learning tool for those who feel alone. It is only about self injury for now, but other mental health problems and medication information will come along as I am able to write them.
Thanks,
Sarah		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
Ugly... 
  _suicide_
 
10:14am 01/05/2004
  Never agree to compliments.
Never agree to the sunlight.
Rays of utter poison
stream into the room.
Showering lights and beauty
yet not made for one with none.
Life is ember
soiled into the ground.
Lovely was always the thought
of blood seeping into
the mouths of those
who are loved.
This is not made for those
made with absolute disgust.
Yet how to yearn for wonders
cannot be denied.		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
03:23pm 29/04/2004
  Part Two

When the girls comes to
She doesn't know where she is
You can hear her screaming from down the hall
From her padded room, she's against the wall
Doctors and nurses come running to her
They tell her she is lucky to be alive
She ignores them and demands to know where she is
They tell her she is in a mental ward
Here is where suicidal residents come together
She learns she's under lock-down, 24 hour watch
Set up by her doctor, and her newly wedded husband
She'll be locked away for only two weeks
Well -- That's assuming she gets better...



~Sarah Michelle
04-28-04		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
11:40pm 28/04/2004
  PART ONE

She has failed you once again
She's sliced open her veins
Blood is pouring out again
It's flowing down the drain
You hear something hit the ground
Her body's on the floor
She's slit her wrists again
This time deeper than before
She's bleeding hard, even with applied pressure
The paramedics tell her husband
Only a miracle can save her now
They rush her into surgery
They give her someone else's blood
They've repaired her veins
But now their crusted with dried blood
The doctor's say that's it
She's going to the ward....

~Sarah Michelle
04-28-04		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
01:17pm 28/04/2004
  You should have seen her. She was so beautiful. Just like I told you she looked like last time, except she was a new born. I called your house to tell you that you might be a Daddy. You Mom said you weren't home, so I told her instead. Later, you came home, and were so shocked. She had the prettiest blue eyes and the most beautiful light blonde hair. She was so tiny, so perfect. I cried as I held her when you walked into the room. So did your Mom. You held her, and she cooed. You had tears in your eyes. She was two months early, and I didn't even know that she was coming. You asked about the delivery. It didn't hurt, and my Dad held her before I could. Then Cameron made a funny noise at her and she cried. I was so scared because when she came out she didn't cry. She was so perfect. When she got into my arms, she stopped crying and cooed. She only weighed 7 pounds I think, and she wasn;t very long, maybe as long as Claudia is. You asked her name, and I told you Jasmine Skyler Marie, and you smiled. That's the name I told you I wanted our little girl to be. I told you I loved that name. And Jasmine, she wasn't a name anymore... She was out baby. Your Mom asked if this meant we were going to get married, but your Dad said you were dating Dani. One of my friends who is engaged to Matt in real life. Then Dani snapped back and said you were just friends, why didn't you tell your parents that. Your Mom's eyes narrowed at you, and you asked to hold Jasmine again. You held her and you looked in my eyes, and you smiled at me. You said she was perfect, just like I had dreamed... We cried, and you gave Jasmine to me and put your arms around me. Your Mom smiled and asked to hold her. I gave her to your mom, but you still held me. I wasn't alone anymore because I had Jasmine, you said to me... And I also had you if I would have you.
Then I woke up and started to cry. She was a baby this time, and not a three year old. I cried because I know she will never be. But she was still perfect, everything I had dreamt of before. I don't know why I dreamt about this. I havent thought about that dream in ages. I had a nightmare before that. Then I woke up, and went back to sleep and dreamt of Jasmine. I can't explain it, I don't know why. But now I hurt because I will never know her perfection... Or yours, ever again.
Dreams are a gateway to the past, present, and future they say... But not mine.

~Sarah Michelle		  
     3 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
Silent Community... 
  _suicide_
 
05:25am 28/04/2004
  Oh where oh where has everyone gone? Oh where oh where can they be?  
     2 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  gazingdarkness
 
02:31am 24/10/2003
  http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=gazingdarkness  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
03:19pm 13/10/2003
  This is the finished essay that I posted two or something weeks ago. Some people were interested in it, other were not. But here it is in any case.

( Self-Mutilation and One Girl )		  
     5 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
03:48pm 30/09/2003
  30 September 2003

( Self-Mutilation, a Tale )

So far this is all that I have done on it. I need at least another page. But whatever. I couldn't stand writing anymore though it was driving me crazy. Anyway, let me know what you think if you read it?		  
     2 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  gazingdarkness
 
01:53am 17/09/2003
 
mood: crazy
ive started my own brood. man i feal like a god. hahaha. do you want to join my brood. if you do go here http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=gazingdarkness
even if you dont every time you fill out a name it gives me ten pints of blood and i need to be my own master so please help me. oh yea sorry about the bite.		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
go here 
  gazingdarkness
 
11:05pm 15/09/2003
  http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=gazingdarkness  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
tired 
  gazingdarkness
 
03:25am 04/09/2003
 
mood: high
music: Drowning pool
My parents asked why i don't try to be more cathiloc like my brother today over the phone. All i could do from laughing out loud in there face. Tried to exsplain that i hate unity and cynical exploits to them but they obviously hate the fact that i will never be there perfect little jock anymore. thats why i moved out to colorado. To much prissiness in my family. its almost disguisting. but hey what can you do when your already going to hell.		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
thy Love is Blind 
  ghostchild13
 
12:02am 28/08/2003
 
mood: indifferent
music: sadness by enigma
Love is Love, Love is Blind, Love is Kind but Love is the Most Hurtful Pain of All,
To Love and to Love not at all gathers in Love is the most hardest thing of them All.
By yours Sinnfully forevermore Meli		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
bloodluster tells all 
  ghostchild13
 
11:57pm 27/08/2003
 
mood: content
music: sister nightfall by sirenia
hello everyone i am new here and it is a great pleasure of
meeting you all. i am 20 years old and from new orleans...		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
07:16pm 02/07/2003
  No, I didn't do this


A familiar scream enters my mind. The scream of a tear falling from the eye. It hits the ground as another follows. Soon, two and three are falling at a time. The sound hurts and sight is nreayl too much to bear. So I do the one thing that I know I can do to make it all stop...

I go to my bed and get my compact. I take out my favorite and oldest razor blade. I sit on my bed and slowly slice my vein open. My sweet release has amde the tears slow. As I watch the crimson river flow from my wrist, I smile, because at last I know that the deafening sound of my fragile tears...


07-02-03		  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
12:22pm 31/05/2003
  ( Some poems from the last two days )  
     2 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
09:07am 31/05/2003
 
Hello again

Well, I'm cutting again. Getting more depressed. My boyfriend and I are taking a break and that is killing me more then any of you could and would ever know. I feel like I've lost a part of me. He says he will come back and it isn't forever. This as tears rained from his eyes.
I'm dead inside. No point. Promised. Can't.

His name now lays on my once un-mutilated skin. Beautiful. Perfect. No longer alone.

No fear
No pain
No love

~Dark Love~
  
     4 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
09:57am 16/04/2003
  This is the report I wrote for class
( Self-Injury )		  
     9 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
Unfinished Shame 
  deep_within_me
 
03:06am 06/04/2003
  The inspiration no longer exists.
Filling my veins with blameless ties.
Call it a benidiction of such cause.
None other than a reality of my own.
I will decompose in its' arms soon;
Leaving a satisfaction I cannot feel.
It has become nameless to me,
as I wish to be apprehensive.
Outlandish thoughts follow me home,
lessening my sense of awareness.
Still I feel so damn incomplete!		  
     3 - Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
  dark_love
 
05:30am 02/04/2003
 
I'm scared. My Mom has surgery today and she has had liver toximia before and kidney something or other. When she goes under for surgery she is at risk for falling back into it. So they are making her go in la-la-land instead of putting her completly out. I need you guys ot pray to whoever you believe in for her to be okay. I can't lose my Mommy. I can't. So anyway, please do this one thing for me....
Thank-you
~Dark Love~
  
     Say "Hell Yeah!"
 
 
xdarkxlovex
 
 
Decide