Blurty for Christina Aguilera.

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Sunday, August 24th, 2003

Time:2:22 pm.
Mood:hurt.
Music:good charlotte//emotionless.
i'm allowed to be hurt right? i can feel that way and not feel guilty at the same time? i don't know what to say, i mean i have always said in the past "i want you to be happy because it makes ME happy" but now i don't know. i am hurt and he is happy. i am not going to hold a grudge, but it just sucks. one minute i am totally happy with the relationship, then it goes from a break, then to nothing, then quickly he is with amy. i am happy for them, i really am, but i want to be happy too. i have been hurt so many times in the past, it makes me question things. can i really trust those close to me? can i put my faith in them and think that they will never hurt me? right now, i feel that the answer is no. i have been told time and time again that i will never be hurt, that they will never let me down, be my guiding light, but no...time after time i have been let down. i have felt pain over and over again that i would never want to wish upon anyone. i just want a guy to come sweep me off my feet, make me happy, and truly never EVER hurt me. but sadly i don't think there is any man that could do that for me. *softly laughs* maybe i should put out an ad for my man.

wanted:
a sincere, honest man who will never hurt me and treat me the way i deserve to be treated. someone who can grow old with me, take care of me when i can't do it by myself. someone who will bring me out of my shell, take away that front that i put up. i want someone who can just make me happy.
-brokenhearted

yes i think that would make for a good ad. if any man fits that, please please comment. i need some love and caring. i hate being alone and sad and melancholy and...hurt. please help me clean my wounds and start over again.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, August 17th, 2003

Time:12:42 am.
*sighs* i need a break...from everything. i am running away. i don't know where to, i guess i will find out when i get there. but i need a chill sesh, thats for sure...*takes a deep breath* now i can think peacefully and not have outside conflicts. *slightly smiles* i'll be back in a few days.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, August 15th, 2003

Time:1:36 pm.
Mood:melancholy.
Music:coldplay//the scientist.
*bites lip and sighs slowly* so i got myself into the hospital. i lay here in the hospital bed just wondering why i do the things i do. orlando called my cell and heard through my voice that i wasn't too happy, so he came over to talk. well after talking, i just couldn't take it anymore, i ran to the bathroom and overdosed on pills. orlando tried to stop me, but i wouldn't let him. the medics came and took me away in the ambulance, rushed me to the hospital, where they proceeded to pump my stomach. the medics later told me that i had been dead for 2 minutes. I DIED. holy shit that is just one of the scariest things to hear. i just cried after they told me that. i can't believe that i tried to kill myself. i just thought it was the best possible answer. to get rid of everything bad in my life. thank god that orlando was there or else who knows what would have really happened. *takes a deep breath* now i have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days now, because this has happened before, and they say that i am endangering myself, or some bullshit like that. i need to rest now though, my body can't take all of this. *sighs slowly as she closes her eyes*
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Time:12:18 am.
Mood:crushed.
Music:incubus//stellar.
i am really confused. after reading chucks update, i am guessing that he and pierre are back together. the divorce papers haven't been signed, and apparently it looks as if they will never be signed. so they are still married. *bites lip* which for me, sucks. pierre and i are over? i don't know what happened. i know we were on a break and all, but i figured it was just for a week or a couple of days so we could have time to ourselves. i didn't think that it would be over completely. i guess i had this coming. i fucked up by suggesting the break. who knows why i even suggested it. i shouldn't have, my fucking insecurities are always getting in the way. i am trying really hard to move past that and stop thinking the worst in situations. i should walk into everything with a positive attitude and look at it optimistically but not obliviously. i just wish this didn't happen. i wish we didn't go on a break. i love him. i love him so much. i can't lose him, i...i just can't. he is my everything. i wake up in the morning with a smile on my face from just thinking about him. no guy could ever do that for me. from day one, i have always thought that pierre would be the one that i would end up with. but if he and chuck are back together, my thoughts, my dreams..they were all wrong. do i live in some sort of dream world? *sighs* reality bites. this fucking sucks. i wish that i could find pierre and talk this all through but he won't answer his cell phone. please pierre talk to me, lets figure this all out. i don't want to lose you, i love you. i would do anything for you. my feelings for you will never go away, i know this. *shakes head* i don't know what to say, i just don't want to lose you. i want you to be mine...forever. and if this isn't so, well i guess i am going to have to live with the outcome...but fuck...i love you *starts to cry* i love you so fucking much. this pain inside, it won't go away, please stay and be with me...
*takes out a tissue to wipe the tears hitting update, walks to her bed and falls on it crying and trying to sleep at the same time*
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Wednesday, August 13th, 2003

Time:5:53 pm.
Mood:confused.
Music:O.A.R.//if only she knew.
*takes a deep breath, closes my eyes, and slowly lets it out* so we are on a break. *bites lip* we are on a break and its my fault. it kind of sucks, and i regret it, but i think that we should have a bit of space. i was just sitting on the tour bus when he walked in with this sad look on his face. i asked him what was wrong, but it was almost like the same look he had on his face the first time we broke up. so i knew we needed to talk. we sat down for a bit and just talked, like really talked. i guess it all started yesterday. i have these insecurities inside of me and i am always afraid of losing those close to me that i love. so i started to doubt our relationship. i brought up the fact that maybe it seems like more of a friendship at times, but i had no evidence to back it up. i couldn't explain why i said that. i know it worried him, and therefore started to worry me. i think we both overanalyzed the situation. so today when we started talking, i figured it would end up how it is now. i brought up the fact again about feeling like a friendship, and he understood. i guess i gave off the vibe of wanting a break. and i think its good for us. he just got done with warped tour and should have a bit of time to himself. i want him to be happy, i truly do. he is in canada so hopefully this trip away from each other will make us both realize that we need each other. i regret bringing up the conversation, and suggesting the break, but maybe its a good thing. something to bring us together again. i love him with all my heart and i hope that this break does us good. *sighs* i think i need this too. i think i need some time to really think about myself and what i want in life. and maybe i can make myself have some independence. i have always relied on a man in my life, and maybe these few days, weeks, months, or however long this break lasts, i can be by myself and prove to myself that i am a strong woman. *shakes head* i don't know, i want to talk to pierre about it, but i can't show that it was a rash decision to go on a break. i think i'll speak to him in a couple of days and let our feelings cool off and figure out what we both want. *slightly smiles* i know that i love him, and i always will. *shrugs* hopefully there is a positive outcome out of this whole thing.
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Time:12:54 pm.
pierre and i are on a break...

*walks away wiping a tear from her face*
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Saturday, August 9th, 2003

Time:2:52 pm.
Mood:pissed off.
*takes a deep breath* wow, fuck you orlando bloom. i honestly fucking hate you so much. you have now hurt me so badly, i don't even know what to do. congratufuckinglations on your new girl. you guys "love" each other already? its been one fucking day since you have known the girl. you are the biggest fucking hypocrite in the world. you know after everything ended with you and me, i would have thought that we could still be friends even though i was hurt. but no, i don't even want to talk to you...EVER. i actually feel bad for this girl. she thinks she is with some great guy, someone who truly cares for her, but the truth is, you just want to get in her pants, admit it. i can guarantee it that you are feeding her the same exact lines that you did to me..all of this "look into the sky and see the stars" bullshit. poor girl. mandy listen to me...be careful. you may think he is all great and mighty, but he isn't. he cheated on me, even said he loved me...hell, he asked me to marry him. i couldn't see through it, all the bullshit that he puts on. but i am telling from someone who has been there, watch out. be careful. orlando if you fucking hurt this girl like you hurt me, i swear, i will do something really bad to you. i fucking cared about you, i was hurt when we ended things, even when i got together with pierre. i felt sorry that i hurt you, but fuck you. you don't even give a shit about me. you can't say that you still care about me, that if things with pierre ended, you'd be there waiting...FUCK YOU! i will rant later, i want to take this all in, one fucking detail at a time...FUCK YOU!
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, August 7th, 2003

Time:5:33 pm.
Mood:hyper.
Music:mest//drawing board.
*laughs to herself* i don't know if its the pixie sticks or pierre, but i have been so god damn hyper lately! so last night, pierre and i were sitting around trying to figure out what to do, and i decided i wanted McDonalds....mmm big mac! anyways this kid was lookin at pierre, i mean i know he was not lookin at mah man like that! so i threw fries at him and told him to back off *laughs* poor kid was in shock after that! we ate in the play area and had lots of funnnnn! this morning i caught up with him again, and he said he fell off of his bunk...what a weird kid! so i gave him a back massage to make it feel better...i hope it worked! i heart that guy i swear. when he isn't around, i miss him like crazy. he's got this way of bringing out my fun side, no one else can really do that. he makes me the person that i strive to be. seeing him with chuck all that time hurt me so much because i wanted to be with him, i have loved him since day one. anyways, enough with the sap! PIERRE BOUVIER WE NEED TO HAVE ANOTHER DAY O FUN PRETTY SOON! i'm serious man, cuz i need a bit of fun.

my tour is done in 17 days...holy shit. time has flown by so quickly. i am going to miss it, but then again, i'll be happy when its over. its hard living on a tour bus, especially the fact that i am a girl. i need my space. but luckily pierre is gonna come visit me and stay with me, hopefully, until the end of my tour.

i talked to mandy today...she is awesome. she always has this love-life attitude and it always puts me in a good mood. see mandy i put you in MY update, but do i get to be in yours? no, neither of them...i'm a little hurt, but whatever....kidding! i love you mandaaaaaaaaaay!

ok thats enough update for me....pierre you are sexiest! and that is all
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Tuesday, August 5th, 2003

Time:2:31 pm.
Mood:happy.
Music:incubus//11am.
well its over, any drama i have had is finally over. things are good with me, and i am happy. pierre and i got back together. it was weird how it happened, but i am glad it did. when things got bad with orlando, i turned to pierre for support and help, and it just kind of happened. everything fell into place. things are how it should be. the thing is, when pierre and i broke up, i was crushed. i had never loved anyone like i loved him and i don't think i ever will. i never fully got over him and when all of this happened, turning to him just felt right. and i am so glad that i did.
last night i spoke with orlando, i just felt terrible. he heard about me and pierre, and i really wanted to be the one to tell him about it, but someone got there first. orlando, i'm sorry if i hurt you. you hurting me is no excuse for me to go back and do it to you. but even you said, i have to follow my heart. and my heart led me to pierre, i know you were wishing it was back to you, but sadly it isn't. and i am sorry for that. i still love you, i do, but...i don't know what i want to say, i can't find the words. you understand...
i need to go and do a soundcheck and then go find pierre! *smiles and skips off*
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Friday, August 1st, 2003

Time:4:40 pm.
Mood:blank.
Music:ben harper//walk away.
*she comes into the room and sits down at the computer tapping her fingers against the keyboard as if deciding what to write. she slowly takes a deep breath and then lets a single tear fall down her cheek. she bites her lip trying to hold in the rest of the tears*

i have been sitting here the entire day just thinking. i haven't even gotten dressed today. i left warped, it was too confusing for me. i am back on my tour, and trace is in the next room laying there. i think he and i have been doing a lot of thinking today. i have ruined a relationship, not only mine, but somebody else's too. i want to think that its not my fault, but i know that it is. i can't get that thought out of my head, and its killing me. i wish it would all go away because i don't want to hurt anyone. i should put myself first but i never do. its always my friends before me. i would DIE for my friends so long as they don't have to experience one ounce of pain. but i know that isn't possible, though i wish it were. *grabs a tissue to wipe away the tears* my whole life is confusing, its turned upside down now and i feel like an outcast. i hate my downer attitude, but lately i haven't been able to get out of it....*shakes head* i need to go rest, to try to get it all out of my head...
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Time:12:38 am.
Mood:numb.
Music:something corporate//cavanaugh park.
i don't know what to say anymore. i feel like things are finally going right, but at the same time everything is a big blur. i am trapped outside of my body and looking in on my life from a different angle. i see everything going on, but at times i don't understand it all. i am happy though. finally. i have never been so happy in such a long time. the problem is, its at another person's expense. to this person, you know that i am sorry, that i never meant for it to happen like that, but it did. and i am truly sorry. but i think that everything is working out for the better. i am kind of at a loss for words right now, i don't know really what to say, i just needed to get that off of my chest. *yawns* i'm tired...goodnight.

*curls up in a ball and slowly blinks her eyes as she peacefully falls asleep dreaming about...*
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Thursday, July 31st, 2003

Time:3:29 pm.
Mood:hopeful.
Music:simple plan//perfect.
alright so last night i decided to go out to warped. lena and i went there. well stuff happened, and lena and i ended up leaving and going to the hospital. i was scared for her, real scared. i didn't know what to do. she had panicked, and i wanted to help her. she was very apprehensive to go with me, but i assured her that it would be alright. i stayed by her side while the doctors proceeded to take tests on her and figure out how they could help lena. i promised her that i would never leave her. after a while of being there, i fell asleep. i woke up this morning to find a message on my cell phone from lena. i looked around the room and she was nowhere to be found. lena ran away from the hospital. i completely understand why. the whole atmosphere of the hospital, cold, dark, icky. she is her own woman, she is going to do what she wants. i just hope that she doesn't hurt herself, i care too much about her. lena, you know that i am here for you whenever you need me...don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it k? anyways, she ran away to the warped tour, so i decided to follow. her friend, julia, took me. it was so sweet of her, a very caring friend. so here we are, both me and lena at warped. i am so happy to be here. all you guys better watch out, chrissy is in town! *cracks up*

i spoke to orlando last night while i was in the waiting room at the hospital. it was hard. it would just be so easy to forgive and just take him back and lay there in his arms while we talk, but i know that i can't. i have to wait it out and see what happens. i read that article that grace wrote about our failed engagement. it made me sad. it just sucks to be so in love and excited for marriage, and then have it fall apart. it makes me doubt myself, that maybe its my fault that orlando did that. maybe i wasn't doing anything right for him, and he needed to see another girl, be with another girl to see if he was missing anything. *shakes head* no i can't let those thoughts get to me, because there will always be "what if's" in life.

well anyways, since i am at warped, i am going to make the most of it! see you all later.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, July 30th, 2003

Time:1:21 am.
Mood:confused.
Music:coldplay//the scientist.
my emotions are running haywire. i don't know what to do. i feel like both of my arms are being grabbed and pulled in opposite directions. my brain is telling me one thing, and my heart another. orlando, i am deeply hurt by the whole situation. and i know that drinking is not the answer to this, but sometimes it just cures it for those few hours. i really don't know how to deal with this whole thing. i want to take you back, but i can't. its not right for me to do that. you hurt me in a way that no one has ever done. you told me that you would never hurt me, yet you went and did that. last night was the hardest night for me. i saw you just sleeping in the bed looking all peaceful, not realizing that i knew everything. i was surprised that this morning you didn't question why i slept on the couch. i just couldn't bring myself to wake you up and tell you. i couldn't even sleep last night. i had so many thoughts running through my head. talking to you today was so difficult. i wanted to scream and yell and kick and fight, but i couldn't. i wanted to just run away from my problems. start over, everything over. but i know its not possible. sooner or later i am going to have to see you and talk to you about this and figure everything out. I do love you, I mean you don't just lose feelings with the snap of a finger, but I am not sure if i am IN love with you now. i can't write down everything i am feeling right now, i think its too much for words, but i will come find you soon and speak with you about it. Well, I have packed my bags. i am going to head on out with lena to warped tour. i need a couple of days for vacation. and i think i have an overdue talk with pierre too. it should be fun, and i am excited. i love warped, all the bands, and the excitement. i just can't wait. it will let me clear my mind of things that are going on. orlando, call me sometime, lets figure things out.
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Tuesday, July 29th, 2003

Time:1:23 am.
Mood:crushed.
Music:mest//promises.
i'm hurt...in so many ways. how could you do this to me? tell me you love me, and do that? i am beyond hurt right now, hurt doesn't even describe my feelings. i feel like my heart has been ripped out of my body and thrown on the ground letting everyone stomp on it. you were my heart, my soul, my one true love....until now. i can't forgive you for what you did. you made me feel special, like i was the one...so why did you do it? what did i do to deserve this? maybe i should have expected this coming...all too perfect, but still. why? why? why? thats all i want to know, is why? oh by the way...the wedding is called off.

*runs away letting the tears fall down her cheeks*
Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.

Friday, July 25th, 2003

Time:1:59 am.
Mood:excited.
Music:mest//rooftops.
Well today was eventful as any other day could be. I woke up very emotional, I got scared. I am usually not that emotional of a person. The weird thing is, I thought I was pregnant. Crazy, huh? But Orlando and I took a test, more like I took the test, and the results came out negative. I think that was a good thing for us, the fact that his career is really just starting to take off, and I am in the middle of touring, heading off to Europe in a couple of months...the timing just wasn't good. But the thing that really threw me off tonight was Orlando himself. He proposed...he fucking proposed! I couldn't believe it, I was amazed. Every emotion went through me. I couldn't even give him a straight answer, I didn't know what to say, I finally managed a yes but that was in between the "oh my gods" and the awestruck look on my face. I love him, I absolutely love him. I knew that I wanted to be with him, and now I get to spend my entire life with him. I couldn't imagine anyone else that I would want to be with forever. The times that we share, are just great. I want to grow old with him, have kids with him, watch them grow up. Be with him everyday and everynight. He is the face that I want to wake up to in the morning and smile just knowing he is there. He is the face that I want to fall asleep to every night. He is my protector, making sure nothing is wrong with me, that no harm is in my way. I thank him for that, I thank him for everything. I truly love him. Well anyways, Jessa is my maid of honor, and I HOPE that Alyssa, Erika, Lena and Amy will be my brides maids. Girls let me know! Well, I can't continue this update anymore because I need to go call my mom and tell her the great news! *gets a dreamy look in her eyes* Mrs. Orlando Bloom, Mrs. Christina Bloom...kind of has a nice ring to it! Goodbye for now....*runs off*
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Thursday, July 24th, 2003

Time:1:15 am.
Mood:cheerful.
Music:incubus//wish you were here.
I just wanted to let everyone know that my ankle is ok. I went to the doctors today and they said it was just a little sprain. So nothing to worry about! Anyways I had a show tonight and instead of really doing any dancing or that, I brought out a stool and did it from that. The crowd was really understanding, and I think the show went great anyways. Well after the show I just had so much energy since I didn't waste it on dancing. Of course Trace and Justin were all together and what not, and I couldn't find Lando, so I decided to go out by myself. It was really nice actually. I wanted to support my boyfriend and whatnot, so I went to go see his movie, "Pirates of the Caribbean." I would just like to say that Lando, you were amazing in that! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. I walked out of the movie with a huge smile because it was truly great. I haven't seen a fun movie like that in a while. So now I am back on my tour bus sitting at the table typing away. Lando is in the next room sleeping all cute and I just want to go cuddle with him. So I tihnk thats what I am going to do!

*smiles as she hits update and walks into the bedroom to get under the covers with Orlando. she yawns as she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep peacefully*
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003

Time:12:04 am.
Mood:loved.
Music:all american rejects//your star.
*grabs out a pen and paper and sits down to write a letter to Orlando to leave on his pillow*

Orlando,

How do I start this? What can I say? You are so special to me, and I want you to know how much you truly mean to me. I sit there at night and wonder why you decided I should be yours...who I am..its no match to who you are and how truly wonderful you are. Your character just shines, YOU shine. You are beautiful inside and out. You treat me wonderfully. You are my shining star, my one and only. Maybe its too early to be saying this but...I LOVE YOU. Orlando Bloom, I love you with all of my heart. You are the one for me and I know it. Every second that I am not with you, I miss you. I love being with you, just spending time. We don't have to be talking, just looking deep into each other's eyes, or even gazing up at the stars, it doesn't matter to me, as long as I am in your arms. I wake up at night and look over to see you sleep. You look so peaceful when you dream. It makes me want to be there, to see what you see...to become one. I love waking up to you, and seeing your face as you kiss my forehead. It's a great way to start out the day. Since the day I met you, I knew I wanted to be with you. I held back because I didn't want to get too involved, but finally we got together, and it has been beautiful. Our friendship blossomed into a relationship and its been...oh words can't even describe it. Words cannot do justice to describe anything having to do with you...you are beyond words completely. You are an amazing actor, friend, person, lover, brother, son...everything. I cannot express my true feelings about you, to you because I don't think that I could ever say how much you really mean to me, but I love you, everything about you. You are my everything...I would be nothing without you. You give meaning to all of my ballads that I sing while I perform. I think about you day and night, when you aren't around, and even when you are. I just wanted you to know how I was feeling and what you mean to me. I love you baby.

Love,
Chrissy
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Monday, July 21st, 2003

Time:10:37 pm.
Mood:sick.
Music:mest//until i met you.
[quick note: i am back from hawaii...you know you all missed me!!!]

so i have been sick for the past couple of days now and today i thought that it was finally over...boy was i wrong. i looked down at my body and saw all of these little bumps. they itch like hell! i called my mom to tell her about it, and she informed me that they were probably chicken pox, since i have never had them yet. GREAT! chicken pox is all i need. i went to the doctor where they confirmed that, yes, they were chicken pox. god damn chickens and their pox! well erika is now my favorite person because she took care of me. she threw me in a tub full of oatmeal where i proceeded to swim around and get covered. so now i am lying in bed with calamine lotion all over me in hopes that i can heal quickly. hopefully i won't have to cancel any shows, but it doesn't look too good as of now. luckily we have a long drive to our next destination so i am praying for a cure anytime soon. i just want you all to get a picture of this in your head. christina aguilera with no makeup, laying in bed all puffy with white dots of lotion ALL over me. pretty sight? i think not! if you come near me, i would recommend running away...FAR AWAY and stay away from this!!

in other news...erika and i are now officially mest groupies, whether they like it or not! we are also the rich and the famous!! *cracks up*

well i need some sleep...oh god this is gross!!!

*yawns as she slowly falls asleep trying to get rid of her chicken pox and praying for a miracle*
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Sunday, July 13th, 2003

Time:10:52 pm.
Mood:happy.
Music:mest//walking on broken glass.
*laughs and smiles from the good fortune that she has been given*

why has my life been so great lately? good friends, good family, GREAT boyfriend...the list is never ending, and its been so nice. i am expecting someone to knock me off of my high horse sometime soon! anyways...today was great, it was filled with absolutely nothing, and i loved it. i love being able to wake up and have an agenda filed with nothing. it just sucks that i am on a tourbus. i wish i was at my home, or my momma's home or something. it gets kind of lonely on the road. i mean sure, justin is there and all, but now..because of my stupidity...he has trace. how could i have not seen this? they were always all tight and everything, but i just assumed it was a close friendship...boy was i wrong! but aww they are so cute. somedays i just look outside of my tourbus window and see them walk around the venue holding hands, and it breaks my heart. they are just darling together. so i woke up today and decided that i wanted to watch tv. i haven't watched tv in such a long time! i watched nicktoons on nickelodeon. god how i miss the days of my youth! i was really excited because in the middle of the day my cell phone rang. i didn't recognize the number but i answered it anyways. it was my old friend from high school calling me from turkey. we talked for about an hour and he just told me stories of what he has been doing there, and whats been going on with his life. it was amazing to hear of the tales that he has. he was like my best friend in high school, and i miss him so much from not being able to talk to him for so long. *smiles and thinks about the good times we had* he was my prom date i remember, and he was there when "genie in a bottle" came on, and everyone left the dance floor. he was there for my ups and downs. i told him how i was dating orlando, and he got all excited. he wants to come visit me and orlando when he gets back. *laughs* he'll probably ask for his autograph or something cuz thats his personality! god i miss that boy! both of them! where IS my boyfriend? i miss him, i haven't spoken to him today, and it makes me sad when i can't talk to the one person that i really want to. anyways, after i got off the phone with my friend, i decided to check in with my mom and see how things were going. i half expected her to tell me that something was wrong with my sister since i had sent her home. but no, things were great. my mom is doing well and so is the rest of my family. i got on the phone with my little brother mikey and spoke with him. he is such a cutie. i miss him so much, he has this energy and innocence about him, that makes you in awe when you see and talk to him. i just wanted to be able to give him a huge hug and kiss. i love my brother, i love my family. they are the best family that you could ever have. we are all so supportive of each other. my mom is the greatest. there is no comparing her to anything else. i would be no where without her. when the going got tough in the beginning of my career, she was my cheerleader encouraging me to pursue it and not give up. i thank her for that, i truly don't think she understands the appreciation that i hold for her. *wipes away a tear* i would do anything for her. ANYTHING. i love her so much. god she has no idea of what the extent is....i can't even put it into words. anyways...i went out for chinese food tonight, and just munched on that, spoke to a couple of people and now i am just sitting on the tour bus writing my update. *looks around the tour bus and smiles* this is my home, my purdy little home for the next 6 weeks, i guess i have to get used to it. i want orlando to come visit me on tour and stay with me so i can see him more, i miss not seeing him. well i guess i should get going...we have a long drive to...god knows where, i am so lost with this tour! goodnight all, i love you muchozz.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, July 12th, 2003

Time:10:54 pm.
Mood:happy.
Music:mest//rooftops.
ok first off PIERRE and CHUCK's wedding was absolutely beautiful...i laughed, i cried...i did it all. faith and luca were so cute as the flower girls, and everything just went perfect. i was so glad that i was able to attend. i am extremely happy for pierre and chuck because they are perfect for each other. pierre, i am honestly happy that things between me and you didn't work out cuz now look how things ended up. you guys will have some fairy tale marriage..(the good kind!) and everything will be perfect. *smiles widely* PERFECTION...

second of all....i am officially taken! *jumps in the air* ORLANDO BLOOM is my boyfriend...eee! i am so in like(can't say love yet...a bit too soon!) with him, its crazy. he treats me with such respect and makes me feel so special. we have had fun so far, and although we haven't had as much "alone time'' with each other, its ok, i still feel like i know him really well. i hope it works out...he drives me crazy, in a good way.

third off...lately i have made so many new friends and it makes me so happy. i love you all, thanks for being so nice to such a big dork like me! i guess i should make my shout outs then:

ORLANDO: i don't know what to say to you...you make me happy when i am down, and you have all the right things to say *laughs* you mah boy!

ALYSSA: you are the bestest! i consider you one of my closest friends! you are my advice giver, my listener, my everything! *laughs thinking about the 98 degrees song*

TYSON: you let me jump on your back and i love you for it! and jessi is right....you do have pony teeth! PTT for life though! *winks*

LENA: i am yo strawberry...fruit crew fo life!

MAGGIE: we hated each other with no specific reasons...oh the things girls will do! but now its nothing but love babay!

JUSTIN: my new best friend! my shiznett! touring is great with you, and you are my rock to lean on...my crying buddy!

ERIKA: i miss you! where the hell are you? i am one of your bridesmaids and i can't wait!! EEE!! *excited*

MATT: hey things didn't work out...but chill...you are my friend for life, so get used to it!

sorry to anyone i forgot...i am a bit tired...comment me and i'll dedicate a whole update to you!! feel special? cuz you should! its a blessing in disguise! *walks away to find my tour bus*
Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

Blurty for Christina Aguilera.

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