Bree's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Bree

[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[24 May 2004|06:22pm]
Meh, I have nothing to talk about. Today was fun, I got high with my brothers and their friends. My mom now knows that I do pot. Bah! Fucking brothers. Anyways, I hung out with a few friends I barely see. Lots of fun. I've also decided that I'm going on a diet because I've gained several pounds since summer. I can't really fit in one of my pairs of pants. Anywhoo, nothing more to say. Later.

- bree
post comment

Kiss and make-up. [23 May 2004|07:07pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | I.O.U. One Galaxy - The Ataris ]

Boring! I'm glad that not many people have Blurty. Everyone would be reading everyones. Luckily no one I know knows I have Blurty so no one can read this. I will pour my heart out now... I'm extremely lonely and everyone around has someone. My best friend thinks she's in love but really she's not and I don't have the heart to tell her. I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend and he has a new girlfriend and I'm sure they're really happy together. All my friends hate me and I can't stand myself. I think I like my other best friend from school and it's weird because he's my friend and it's probably not healthy. I also think one of my friends could do way better then the girl he's with. She's mean, annoying, ugly, fat, she smells like dirt, she's poor, etc. It's disturbing even talking to her but it's his decision so I have to support it. So many people are happy right now. I am the only really unhappy. I also found out last night that the guy that I had a major crush on last year is now tall and has a chelsea boy. Mmmm, that is really hot. Last time I saw him he was short and had like kind of long hair. He's probably really awesome now too. But I don't know. Supposedly he liked me last year but I don't know. Anyways the point is that I think he's starting to like one of my friends that I don't really like but I act like it and it kind of sucks. Meh, I don't care. I'll just be lonely for my whole life. . . I'm out, later
-bree

post comment

Messed as it's best [16 May 2004|01:01pm]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | Reflections of Ruin - Darkest Hour ]

Meh, it's always the same on Sundays. I'm always tired as hell, I am always writing in all my live journals, I'm always feeling sad because no one likes me and I'm always finishing some homework up from the weekend. Today I feel worse. I have had a theory that my friends don't like me, but at the time it was a little joke. Now it actually seems like they hate me. Just the things that they say now are really mean. I feel horrible because one said a comment about how I look. I don't have a self esteem. So it really doesn't help at all when someone says something like that. It actually hurts a lot more and makes me think why the fuck am I here? No clue. No one likes me here. I can't go a day without thinking about suicide. It scares me. I can honestly say that I don't think I'll even make it to grade 11 if this keeps on happening to me. I feel like shit. No one ever cares about my feelings and if I get hurt or not. I really do love all my friends since they've been there for me a lot but seriously can they please consider a little bit about my hurt and how I am reacting to a lot of things lately. No one even takes the time to tell me things. I don't even know whats going on half the time and I'm scared to think what will happen before the year is through....

post comment

Nifty. [09 May 2004|02:01pm]
I'm actually in a good mood for some reason. Usually I'm really sad and unhappy over weekends but I'm feeling great today. It's Mother's Day and I'm not certain if I can get her anything. I have a bit of change so I'm thinking that I could go to the corner store and just by some chocolate or something then make it look like I put a lot of effort into it. I am such a excellent child. Ha.. anyways the weekend has been pretty good to me actually. I went to some kind of awesome farm yesterday and I watched a few horses jump over those pole things. I saw a few little baby cats and such but I think I'm allergic so I stayed away from them half of the time. I slept over at my friends house that night. I don't like sleeping over at people's houses, I feel dirty because it's not my house and I can't just get up and have a shower. I hate taking showers at other people's houses. Don't know why. Yesterday I hate a shitload of food. Then I did not feel good by the end of the day. I also watch Ferris Buller's Day Off. I fucking love that movie. It's always going to be a classic to me. I'm so happy that I don't have school today, it would just ruin my happy mood that I'm in. Probably because the person I'm still in love with is interested in another person but anyway my day shall be grand. Later my fellow non-listeners...

-bree
post comment

Sad and Lonely. [04 May 2004|04:50pm]
[ mood | stressed/mad/depressed ]
[ music | No Rain - Blind Melon ]

I am in the worst mood ever. I just feel so shitty. I feel like I need to get out of this place. All my friends hate me and I know it. They treat me like I'm not there. They wish I wasn't there. I just don't think there is a place for me in this world. I'm always in the way. No one ever wants to tell me something important, it's always someone else who is standing beside me. I can't find anyone who actually ecknowledges(spelling?) in school. I have been bumped into, doors pushed into me, people just not caring. Why did God even put me on the earth. If everything happens for a reason, What the fuck is the reason for me even existing. I don't want to be. No one wants me to be here. I'm just some person that was tossed here for people's amusment. I hate being the person that everyone doesn't like. It hurts when your best friends treat you like dirt. I feel terribly unwanted. I know if I were to die tonight that no one would terribly miss me. They would be shocked and that's about it. I think about this too much. I need to think about something that I could be happy about... nothing. I can't be happy. I have a shitty life. I can't help not to cry myself to sleep everynight. For every person that actually likes me about 25 other people have to put me down. I wish I could tell people how I'm feeling but I can't. I feel so stupid all the time. I feel so ugly. Everyone is so pretty and I'm a -1000 out of 10. My self-esteem is totally gone. Pretty much if people actually start telling me to fuck off, I won't be able to take it and I'll explode. I'm such a moron...fuck!

-bree

post comment

August Winterman - Dead Poetic [02 May 2004|08:25pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Runaway - Del Shannon ]

And If I could teach the world to be,
I'd teach them how to be something jus like me.
Frustrated, bitter, depressing.

Perfect.
As if my wings were like yours.
Perfect.
But I'm falling down.

And if you could hold you tongue long enough,
You'd see that all I am is love, but I don't like me.
I despise me.

Perfect.
As if my wings were like yours.
Perfect.
But I'm falling down.

Perfect.
Ass if my wings were like yours.
Perfect.
But I'm falling down.

It's a disease they'll never have a cure for.
You're the only way to dry my eyes.
It's a disease, they'll never have a cure.
But I'm the on whose wrong. I'm the one who cries.
It's a disease, they'll never have a cure for.
It's a disease, they'll never have a cure.
But I'm the on whose wrong. I'm the one who cries.

I cry, I despise me. (x4)

"Excellent song by an excellent band"
-bree

post comment

Tell Myself Goodbye. [28 Apr 2004|07:55pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | The Unforgiven - Metallica ]

Well this is so pointless. This computer is the most shittiest thing I have ever seen. It takes about 15 minutes to load the explorer and then there is a very low chance of it not freezing. Soon I will rip this peice of shit appart. It also uninstalled Norton Anit-Virus and MSN Messenger all by itself. It's fucked up and doesn't deserve to be appart of modern technology. I wouldn't mind if it was just a crappy computer setup in my room but this is a family computer and somtimes we fight over it. There is no point to be fighting over this douchbag called a computer. Plus Windows XP blows major balls. It's so fukken slow and I am so impatient. Each time I log onto this computer I feel like shooting it in it's motherfucking modem. I want to physically hurt this thing but I know that it wouldn't hurt it so I won't. It would probably hurt the rest of my family so...hmmm, I may think about it though. Definitely considering it.
-bree

post comment

Lonely and forever that way... [26 Apr 2004|08:26pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Nerdy - Poison The Well ]

Okay, okay. I thought I was over him but obviously I'm not. It's hard seeing him move on away from me and getting over what ever we had together when I'm just left here. I do recall saying several times that I don't want a commitment right now because I feel unlike me in a relationship. But actually I just don't want to be with anyone else but him so I pretty have to be lonely for a while until I can realize that he's not the only person in the world I can be with and plus I can't be with him. I feel so stupid for falling or him but yet I can't imagine anyone else who I would ever be happy with. He's acting weird now though but I know that he's a great guy because I have seen him be one. I was so happy and now it's all ended. I wish I could tell him how I feel but I know that he wouldn't want to hear it because he doesn't like me. I do less things now. I eat less now. I feel like my heart has been mutilated and now there's nothing left inside. I just want him to be happy and I know he wouldn't be with me....

P.S. Boys Don't Cry, they only make girls cry.

post comment

[25 Apr 2004|03:10pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Identity Crisis - Thrice ]

Well what a weekend it has been. On Friday I just went to my friends house and we hung out for awhile, watched a few movies and such. I ended up spending the night. And actually went to go see The Girl Next Door at the drive-in. Stupid, stupid movie. I feel asleep half way through it. On Saturday I fell asleep because I was so tired and then my friend Emily came over. My best friend actually. But yeah my other friend Josh called and he wanted me to go to his house and I said no because I had company and now I'm certain he's mad at me. I used to like him but he has been being an ass for awhile so I think I'm starting to loose interest. And today I am doing homework, listening to really emo music and writing in my live journal. I plan to do nothing else today. I actually feel like relaxing and just chilling out by myself with some tunes. Sounds excellent.
On another subject, I like having this because no one I know knows that I have one. It's like I can talk about anything I want without knowing people around know about it. So I can talk about anything I please.
Anywhoo, I'm out.. later.

post comment

[20 Apr 2004|04:08pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Ender Will Save Us All - Dashboard Confessional ]

Well I think this is my first entry, if this is one. But yeah this one going to be pretty lame because I haven't figured much out yet but when I do I suppose I'll write other, more exciting ones....Ha... Anyways, I have to see if this actually worked

post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]