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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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the obnoxious children outside. |
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i am very pissed off at the moment. my stupid friend alex thinks that it will make my life better if i don't talk to him until i stop cutting. i fucking hate how everyone does that. they say it the same way, too. it's as if they're the same person. he said "if you don't stop cutting, i won't talk to you ever again". and i fucking hate that more than "she's psycho, she cut's herself." people don't understand...i can't just stop the instant they tell me to, it's not that easy. he claims he stopped "cold turkey", but i'm sure he had urges, and i'm sure he had times when he just couldn't take it anymore. i hate him so much right now...he says if i IM him again, it means i have no respect for him...but if you think about it, it really means he has no respect for me. he wants to put a friendship on the line? go ahead. he's the one who will be sad in the end. i don't really care if i lose a friend who tried to make me quit by blackmailing me and stripping me of my freedom to express myself. it actually is a lot like censorship, to me, when someone tells you to be quiet because they don't agree, nor like the opinions you have, or don't want to listen to the things you got to say, because they could be "inappropriate" or "wrong". it's just like religion. whenever i speak about how i don't agree with the bible, and dislike the rules of christianity, etc, etc, adam always has to start stuff, and tell me to shut up, because he "believe in that stuff and don't like hearing it getting insulted". i don't care if he doesn't like it, i don't tell him to shut up when he talks about god. i just tell him what i feel about it, and leave it at that. but he...he gets very pissed off. he'll go all "don't you EVER speak about god like that. i don't care what you are. i'm christian, and god exists. you should all listen to me!" im serious. he really says that stuff. but anyway, on to the nicer part of my day.
i went to school. whoo. well, i got to see my friends...i guess that's a good thing. and i got an A on my shakespeare test. although i didn't do as good as kyrsten..she got an A++. my language arts teacher does this weird thing with his grades. if you get the extra credit right, he gives you a number above the 100%. kyrsten got like...110%. i think. well, anyway. at least i didn't get jeremy's grade. he failed. he got a 20/40. haha. idiot. no wonder. and i got a pink slip because i told jose i didn't want to sprint. i didn't. fat people shouldn't have to do all that crap he puts us all through. oh, well. i wanted to get sent out. i didn't want to be in his class.
in science, we got some geckos as pets, and my teacher was holding it, and he accidentialy dropped it, and the tail got chopped off somehow. it was awesome...it kept moving even after it was chopped off. and i saw the whole thing, i was standing right there. it was so great. after i went to go use the printer, i looked at the tail and it was all bleeding, and you could see the joints and everything..amazingly, i didn't barf. sometimes i get disgusted at things like that..but today, i guess, wasn't the case.
that maddy keeps talking to me. i don't want anything to do with her...i thought she got the message when i spit in her hair, but i guess she didn't. she kept talking to jeremy and i today..well, and kyrsten. that's the only reason why they come over to me. because kyrsten is there. it's so stupid...kyrsten will be standing there, and i'll walk over to her to talk to her, and felicia will come up and start talking, making me go away, because i hate those skanky preps. yeah. so, i guess i will say more later when i don't feel like punching someone.
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