| in the library |
[18 Feb 2004|11:02am] |
ok i know i dont update often but it wont let me update my LJ cuz of "websense block" fun!!!!
yeah im in the library with Jeanine she had to type something up.
Gym is annoying we're playing badmintion i really HATE IT with a passion.
This kid Kory Daughter(sp) is so stupid.. in Bio we're learning about mietosis or whatever and its how the chromosomes split to make sex cells anyway he thought sperm wasnt made in your "testees" god. i got annoyed and everyone left. Anyway im bored and i have nothing else to do I MISS YOU ALL BLURTY PEOPLE!!!
get an lj add me mines dolefullydesire
bye byes
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| in the library |
[01 Oct 2003|10:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the nosy ass keyboards |
] |
hey all!
im in the library with my friend Christina. Its fun. This day has gone by so fast its weird.
I'm in a better mood than earlier. Hahah next period we have to present our english things funnnnnnn. Luckly Mary and I dont have to sing hehe. go us!
well i have nothing else exciting to say so im gonna go.
much love everyone <3
Love Always
Lizzy
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| swallowed up |
[28 Sep 2003|02:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Aesma Daeva- Aesma Daeva In My Holy Time |
] |
im bored
i honestly do not know how to describe how im feeling now.
whatever i just felt like saying that hmm
Love Always
Lizzy
P.S I dont care anymore.
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| :-( |
[28 Sep 2003|10:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Can You Feel The Love-Elton John |
] |
There's a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of a rolling wind can be turned away
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you
And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best
There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours
this song makes me cry. Lion King is one of my favorite movies no matter what.
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| supressed by all of my childish fears |
[28 Sep 2003|10:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Go Your Own Way-Nofx |
] |
hey all.
im so borrrrrrrrred, i fell asleep too early now im up too early when theres no one to talk to. I guess thats what you get for feeling shitty.
( cool little survey i found )
hmm that kept me amused for a half an hour hahahahha im weird :-D
i want to download songs but stupid ass grokster has been pissing me off alot.
It's slightly raining now and i think im gonna post some lyrics later cuz im bored
well bye for now
Love Always
Lizzy
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| i love this song |
[27 Sep 2003|02:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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I'm Ok-Christina Aguilera |
] |
Once upon a time there was a girl
In her early years she had to learn
How to grow up living in a war that she called home
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room
Hoping it would be over soon
Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK I often wonder why I carry all this guilt
When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door
The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done
To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on
Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
It's not so easy to forget
All the lines you left along her neck
When I was thrown against cold stairs
And every day I'm afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there
Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK
I'm OK
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| promise we wont fall apart |
[27 Sep 2003|10:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Doctor,Doctor!-The Blood Brothers |
] |
hey all.
Hmm last night sucked. That basically explains it but since i have nothing better to do ill go into detail. Before i got there i ripped some tab on my bondage pants so now i have to fix that and sew it but i wanted to still wear them so i used safety pins (man it felt stupid haha). Anyway i got there and Jess like came running up to me and jump on me to hug her and i picked her up cuz im so much taller than her :-x. So i felt weird cuz i didnt know all her friends. Then i didnt feel like bowling so i was pretty much bored. Then finally Megan got there but late. Megan wasnt going to bowl either. Then guess who comes?!? Vanessa... oh god. She gave me this dirty look. Her hair looked so bad hahahahahah. Anyway so me and megan just sat at a table near where they were bowling and just talked. Megan and I were pissed cuz we wanted to go to Roller Magic cuz then i could have had Paul come, i could finally meet Jackie, and Nicole and other possible people could have gone and Megan said Corey could have come. So we were pissed about that. Megan said this about Nicole hahhahahha "atleast she doesnt molest people like all of Jess's friends" hahhahaaha I found that hilarious. Yeah like omg Jess's friends were all like molesting eachother and feeling eachother up it was kinda of sickening. Megan and I got into this discussion and Megan said this "they think shes punk and shes easy to get into her pants so thats why they're friends with her" yeah i have to say i have to agree with that cuz Megan said Jess started dressing like her and stuff and all of sudden listens to the music i have been for like 2 years. Then they the bowling alley started playing music and stuff and they were all dancing and gay stuff like that. They wanted us to come dance with then when they were like shaking their asses and grinding. I was like noo thats oooooook. I dont think Jess liked my present :-( whatever it was just 15$ and a cd i burned. I started to piss my pants tho cuz Megan had to go the bathroom and so i went with her and IT SMELT SO BAD!!!!!!!!!! Ive could of passed out and then there was this toliet full of shit and I STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD i started to piss my pants alittle hahahhaha then i stole megans candy necklace and broke it all over the floor! HAHHAHA that was pretty much the high point of the party. Jess didnt really talk to me. None of her friends talked to me but soem guy name Nick and that was it he just was like hi. Then we have to pose for some stupid picture and none of her friends wanted to stand by me and megan so that Nick guy went to my side and stood by us. So yeah the Nick guy was alright i guess. Yeah it was just so boring basically the whole night i sat there and did nothing. I talked to Megan O'Brien about lacrosse next year, cuz she works at the bowling alley. Megans mom got pissed at her cuz she was being all "anti-social" but so was i hahahah its like i dont want like them. Yeah so pretty much the night sucked and i could have gone out with my real friends and actually had FUN.
anyway..i doubt im going to Marys today cuz my parents probably want to go somewhere and i dont feel good i have a headache and cramps :-(. So there goes that plan.
God next week is "spirit" week at school. God... hopefully my parents will let me skip friday or give me a note and pick me up. I dont want to go to a fucking pep ralley.
yeah well im bored so i guess im gonna go and just look up weird things online.
Love Always
Lizzy
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| one heart |
[27 Sep 2003|09:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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In Lieu of Flowers...-The Contingency Plan |
] |
( some survey )
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| i'd walk on the water |
[26 Sep 2003|06:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 touched |
] |
| [ |
music |
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A Walk Through Hell-Say Anything |
] |
Your hazel green tint eyes watching every move I make.
And that feeling of doubt, it's erased.
I'll never feel alone again with you by my side.
You're the one, and in you I confide.
And we have gone through good and bad times.
But your unconditional love was always on my mind.
You've been there from the start for me.
And your loves always been true as can be.
I give my heart to you.
I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you.
And if i could swim I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating in the dark.
And if was blessed i walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving sunken chest.
Because they chose you as the model for their empty little dreams.
With your new head and your legs spread like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you and the gut you and you give in.
And if i was brave I'd climb up to you on the mountain.
They led you to drink from their fountain spouting lies.
And i'd slay the horrible beast they commisioned
To steer me away from my mission to your eyes,
And i'd stand there like a soldier with my foot upon his chest.
With my grin spread and my arms out in my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And i'd hold you and remind you who you are under their shell.
I'd walk through hell for you. Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Let the torturing ensue. My soul is useless without you
And if they sent a whirlwind, I'd hug it like a harmless little tree.
Or an earthquake, I'd calm it, and I'd bring you back to me,
And I'd hold you in my weak arms like a first born.
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| on a cold rainy morning |
[26 Sep 2003|06:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Lose Yourself-Eminem |
] |
hmmm right now im listening to Eminem as you see and for some weird reason the music,the weather,how im feeling, it just seems to go together hahah i dont know im weird... hahah
anyway... im feeling a tiny bit better but not really so why did i even say that.. hah. yeah my parents went blistic on me and i cried myself to sleep.
Tonight is Jess's party, i didnt get her a present :-/ i have to burn the green day cd for her and make a card and give her 15$. That'll be good :-D
Then on Saturday ill probably go to Marys to work on our english thing and goof around being idiots :)
*sighs* i wish i could scream to the world i like this person but i guess ill just keep it inside forever. whatever.
much <3 to my friends for being there or trying(and i was stubborn so didnt let them be there for me) lately. I love you guys so much. *hugs*
well im gonna go bye byes
Love Always
Lizzy
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| lost in their eyes |
[25 Sep 2003|08:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 distressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hitchin' A Ride-Green Day |
] |
( a pretty long survey that is different )
that was long phew.. hahah. Enjoy.. hahahah
Love Always
Lizzy
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| i crawl out of hiding for you |
[25 Sep 2003|05:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Fly-Veruca Salt |
] |
hey all.
Ok so i finally talked to Amanda but only for like 10 minutes cuz her mom wasnt home *sighs* her sister needs to die rawr. Cassie is on my case about my "depressing lyrics" away msgs. When all it was a Lacuna Coil song. Christina is on my case that being homosexual/bisexual is unnatural because "God" made girls and guys. But she doesnt hate me or want to cahnge me. She wanted me to read the bible. I was like uh no.
Anyway.. i feel like crap and want to crawl in a hole and die.
yup.
Jess's party is friday.. Amanda cant go :-( and i suck at bowling. What a wonderful party it will be.
well theres nothing else really to say
Love Always
Lizzy
P.S i am ugly. k thanks.
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| youve only got one shot |
[25 Sep 2003|06:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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uncomfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Lose Yourself-Eminem |
] |
why am i being so god damn emotional..? someone please help me
im like always about to cry and sometimes do lately
this is not a pity on me entry.
i think i might know why now why i am so emotional *sighs*
sorry this was pointless.
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| a secret in my circle of regret |
[24 Sep 2003|07:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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To Myself I Turn-Lacuna Coil |
] |
hey all.
Today wasnt that exciting... i actually ate lunch woohoo go me! Hahahha
I feel rather lonely and just want to be held and told that someone needs me. But hey no one needs me so i guess it doesnt matter.
I felt so bad cuz of Jeanine's blurty entry Apparenly, Nicole and Lizzy are on this 'best friends' kick. but we're cool now. I cried. But then again i cry over everything.
At Lunch as usually Bobby came over to annoy me. Brought up the online thing again. Yes Bobby your just so cool and know ALL about computers that you looked me up on www.yahoopeoplesearch.com YEAH MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK IF THE SITE YOU LIKE TO LIE ABOUT, EXISTS?!? Then i asked him what he thoughts of bis and lesbians, he gaves me a blank stare. Then he BRINGS UP THE ONLINE THING AGAIN. Then i told him im bi and he gave this weird look like a digusting "ew" type of weird look. That upset me. Fuck You Bobby, go fuck yourself and drop a heavy boulder on your penis, if you even have one.
I'm also tired of the dumb fucks in our schoo. These fucking moronic guys walking behind me out of spanish were making some jokes about me saying sarcasticly like "that girl is hot" and other shit. I'm also tired of all the loud and obnixious people on my bus. These 2 fat girls seriously need to get pants that fit JESUS if i see one more fat girl with THEIR FAT ROLLING OVER THEIR PANTS IM GONNA DRAG THEM TO THE MALL AND BUY THEM SOME PANTS THAT FUCKING FIT SO I DONT HAVE TO SEE THEIR STRECHY UGLY ASS STOMACH.
ok sorry hahahhaa. Ok ok im fat but i dont let me fat hang over my pants and i dont have stretch marks.
Hmm i think im just gonna give Jess money and a cd for her birthday. Cuz she has like everything you could possibly get her.
I need to vent all my anger and sadness eventually. It'll probably be in my songs or here. I'll probably end up having one litle incident BLOW out of porprotion. yup probably
well im gonna go i have nothing else to say and who cares anyway about me to weird my stupid entries.
Love Always
Lizzy
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| now and then i get insecure |
[23 Sep 2003|07:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Beautiful-Christina Aguilera |
] |
this song that im listening to sums it up sometimes how i feel. I love Christina Aguilera and i dont care what you people think and she is pretty, so what. Anyway..
God i almost just passed out. Im ok now tho. I really wish one of my friends could just come over my house right now and hold me and tell me ill be alright, because i honestly dont know sometimes if i ever will...
School was a drag. Bobby should die yes even these 2 seniors agree. I have a test tomorrow in Global and Spanish. I'm so not ready for it. Then on Thursday i have Math and on Friday i have English. Funn. I hope my parents let me skip friday so i dont have to go to that damn pep ralley. Or that my mom picks me up. I refuse to go to the pep ralley.
Anyway.. i really need Amanda. But her fucking GAY ASS SISTER HAD TO GET HER GROUDNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD MOLLIE SHOULD JUST DIE! Mollie showed her mom Amanda's diary and in her diary Amanda wrote about Dmitry now Amanda cant date until shes 18 or something stupid ass like that. Now Amanda is grounded from the phone for like a week or 2. I'm really upset and i need Amanda.
Jess's party is this Friday. Woo. I found out her mom is paying for like 8 people like me,megan,amanda,some guy nick,and some other people i dont know. I might get to meet Jackie yay!!!! I'd be dieing to mmet her :-(
this is to Nicole-
Nicole, i love you so much! Please dont fall into my mistakes. We made a promise and i dont make promises i cant keep. Just please... you have to trust me. I trust you. You and I need
to talk about this face to face sometime like you said and other thigns. Its almost weird that i see things that i once said, being said by other people. And Please Dont Worry about me i dont deserve someone to care about me. But i seriously care about you and i dont want to repeat a stupid mistake i have am/did face. Your a great friend and im so glad i met you, you are beautiful the way you are and i know im being a hypocrite cuz i say it but then i dont think it about myself. But Seriously you are. <3
yesterday i finished reading Empress of the World. I suggest you all pick it up. Its just the sweetest book and it made me cry many times. Its about these 2 girls who go to this summer program, they're basically opposites but then they end up falling in love. It is just a great book and thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. Ok enough of me being a book critic.
Yeah..... i feel so alone right now *sighs* ill shut up now :-x
Good night everyone
Love Always
Lizzy
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| drown in sorrow |
[22 Sep 2003|04:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Strawberry Gashes-Jack Off Jill |
] |
ok so nothing really happened. I feel extremley lonely and sucky.
I cried in school today during lunch cuz of fucking Bobby. Since i dont feel like retyping the story ill just use a cut and use the conversation with Jeanine
( convo )
yeah so that was that.
Yeah so Paul sprained his ankle skateboarding :-(. Now he probably cant go to Jess's party with me to hang out with. Now who will be my friend and hang out with at me at Roller Magic?!? *sighs* ill be the third wheel x 259309859350935 Lizzy will be alone,yes.
Its fucking freezing in my house. Im in a hoodie and pajamas and im still cold. RAWR.
Someone cheer me up *sighs*
ok well im gonna go read a book much love.
~Love Always~
~Lizzy~
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| omg now this song makes me cry so much |
[21 Sep 2003|08:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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touched |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Angel-Aerosmith |
] |
I'm alone
Yeah, I don't know if I can face the night
I'm in tears and the cryin' that I do is for you
I want your love - Let's break the walls between us
Don't make it tough - I'll put away my pride
Enough's enough I've suffered and I've seen the light
[Chorus:]
Baby
You're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and make it all right
Don't know what I'm gonna do
About this feeling inside
Yes it's true - Loneliness took me for a ride
Without your love - I'm nothing but a begger
Without your love - a dog without a bone
What can I do I'm sleeping in this bed alone
[Chorus]
Come and save me tonight
You're the reason I live
You're the reason I die
You're the reason I give
When I break down and cry
Don't need no reason why
Baby , Baby
[Chorus]
You're my angel
Come and save me tonight
you're my angel
Come and take me allright
Come and save me tonight,
Come and save me tonight,
Come and save me tonight,
Come and save me tonight,
Come and save me tonight
*tears*
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| ....for me |
[21 Sep 2003|08:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Beautiful-IMX |
] |
You know there?s something bout a sexy song (that really)
Turns me on (and makes me)
Feel at home (and uh)
Uh medley always sound so sweet (as if)
Slowly calls your body next to me (and uh)
A beautiful smooth conversation (just to)
Show my love ( and it)
Expresses us how
I wonder how everything would be
If you send the rest of your life with me
[Chorus]
Beautiful you are
You mean the world to me more than anything
Girl my life depends
On your warm embrace is to feel the taste
Beautiful you are
You mean the world to me more than anything
Girl my life depends
On your warm embrace is to feel the taste
Baby I promise the whole world to you (any)
Thing you want (baby)
I will do and
And just to prove to you that I can be (all your)
Lookin for (trust and)
Honesty
Its just the simple things that you do (so just)
Hold my hand (let me)
Sing to you babe
A way to say babe that I thank you (for being)
Who you are (brighter)
Then a star
[Chorus]
Beautiful you are
You mean the world to me more than anything
Girl my life depends
On your warm embrace, is to feel the taste
Beautiful you are
You mean the world to me more than anything
Girl my life depends
On your warm embrace is to feel the taste
Your love
Is the sweetest thing I ever know
Your touch
brings a warmth to my heart
My heart it all starts with you
It feels like heaven
Cause all that I am
Is all that I give
[Chorus]
Beautiful you are
You mean the world to me more than anything
Girl my life depends
On your warm embrace, is to feel the taste
Beautiful you are
You mean the world to me more than anything
Girl my life depends
On your warm embrace, is to feel the taste
this song makes me cry too :-( make me stop listening to emoish and songs that make me cry heh
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| who i am |
[21 Sep 2003|07:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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touched |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Iris-Goo Goo Dolls |
] |
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yhea you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
these song lyrics still make me cry. I remember when this song first came out i loved it. I'm just in tears cuz the lyrics and the song is just so beautiful *sighs*
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