| R.I.P Edna Davis- Great Grammy! 3 yrs ago today! | |||
| 09:46am 01/05/2003 | |||
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i was thinking a lot about ****** today.. i miss him so much. chris and me got into a little fight because he wants to smoke wit ty but he promised that he wouldnt then they were talking about it. i told him that if he did i was going to.. and he got mad. what the fuck is wrong with me. i have not hung out with anyone lately. i spend all my time with him or on the phone with him. i want my life back. i love him but i need some space. Like i was saying i miss ******.. he always knew how to make me smile and exactly what to say to make me feel better no one knew me like he did. I got an email from damien.. wow that kids a sweet heart. he wanted to take a ride here today to see me cuz i havent seen him since he got out of jail but chris is coming over and i dont want there to be a fight. chris doesnt like me talking to other guys so i try not to have guys call me or come over when he is there its just a whole lots easier. the thing is that i grew up with damien he is like my fucking brother i dont understand what chris' deal is sometimes.. i would never cheat on him i love him with all of my heart and i can honestly say that i have never been so happy.. my friend ***** sent me an email asking how i was and shit and i wrote him back about how happy i am with chris and before he read the one i sent him he wrote me one telling me about how much he likes me.. i felt really bad after reading it but i only have friendly feelings toward him. chris finally admited that he likes sam as more than a friend it really upset me because he knows that is the one person i do not like at all. whatever.. i flipped the fuck out on christina yesterday.. she fuckin sat there and told someone how she likes chris so i tweekd. On another note.. my best friend cola has the fucking most horrible boyfriend.. but not for long she is finally going to take my advice and get rid of him.. here is what i think of him.. he is a:: liar, druggie, alcoholic, abusive:: mentally, physically!, he is just a fucking jerk. he treats her like shit and i was getting pretty fucking sick of it. i hope he just falls off the face of this earth.. whatever he is going to get to me today! well im going to go im out lataz! <3 Jess |
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| 2 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
| ..GaNgStArRr.. | |||
| 09:00am 29/04/2003 | |||
| i had c0unciling last nite.. it fucking sucked we talked ab0ut if my family l0ved me and shit.. i have t0 g0 t0 a new c0unciler f0r my substance abuse.. but im still stayin wit Linda. yesterday :: Jamie, Nikki, Shayla, n Krysta came 0va.. then Jamie n Shay left Mike came 0va f0r a lil while.. we had fun then i kicked them all 0ut cuz chris was c0ming ova! well anyways.. im 0ut im in sk00l pr0lly sh0uld be d0ing s0me w0rk. haha yuh rite.. bye byez | |||
| 1 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
| tyms g0t tuff.. | |||
| 08:09am 28/04/2003 | |||
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well theres s0me q0od news n s0me bad news.. q0od news ::: I didnt qet l0cked up, surprisingly.. bad news ::: i have t0 q0 2 AA and NA meetings.. substance abuse c0unciling, weekly drug testing, a p0ssible 6 m0nth c0ntinuance 0n my pr0bati0n.. and h0use arrest until i q0 back t0 c0urt. i saw cassandra, sam, freak, and heather at c0urt.. its always a reuini0n in that place. if i fuck up wun tym im gettin c0mmited until im 18.. i aint lettin that happen.. :: Chris :: i am still with my babii.. i l0ve him i really d0. he is my everything.. i d0nt kn0w what i w0uld d0 with0ut him! |
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| 4 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
| 08:58am 02/04/2003 | |||
| ok ok ok thats enough.. u think ur helping me but all your doing is hurting.. u say ur there for me thru anything but nows when i need u most and ur no where to be found... go figure | |||
| 10 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
| Finally.. I update | |||
| 10:30am 31/03/2003 | |||
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Everything isnt so great. My dads foot is so bad that the nerves are not connected to the muscles or bone which is telling the brain that there is no foot there. If his foot doesnt start reacting to the therapy they have been giving it then he will have to get surgery on his spine which could result in him being in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. That means no more shoveling the driveway like he always does, also we will have to sell our house to find a one level house that he can access things much easier.. my life is going to be so horrible.. not to mention the surgery could go wrong because it is his spine which could kill him. I dont exactly know how to feel. He cried at the table last night which I have never seen my dad cry. I feel awful for treating him the way I do I tried to just be nice to him but its so hard when he blames everything on me. He has been going through like 2 packs of butts a day and drinking so much beer it is starting to scare me. My niece is coming home on thursday which is really good. I have missed her so much. I know that this whole fire thing has been hard on me and everyone else but I never relized that she might be having a lot of problems because of it. She is the one who started it but no one blames her. At least not me or my mom, sometimes when my dad is being a little bitch he blames her but we all know it was not intential. When she visited on Saturday she asked me if we hated her because our house and all of our stuff got ruined. I told her that i dont hate her and that I'm not mad because I know that she didnt mean to do it. Still I guess deep down im a little upset but not with her.. im upset with my mom.. she should have been watching her. Im a little mad at myself if I tried I might have been able to put it out with a fire exstinguisher but I didnt think of it. I was just so scared when I saw the flames. Maybe if my dad hadnt broken his leg this would have happened they were his matches but still you cant blame him because it is his room, Im not the one to blame because its not my jobto watch her, its not my moms fault because Mikala is 5 she should be able to go into another room to get her coat without us thinking she needs to be followed, Mariah had nothing at all to do with it and Mikala even though she did start the fire she didnt understand what could happen. We went to the burnt house this weekend with Mikala she really didnt want to go see because last time she saw the house it was all burnt but now.. its all plastered and you can smell the smoke but it doesnt look like there was a fire. She kept saying look grammy its not burnt anymore and we all reassured her that no one is mad and that were really happy she is coming home and that we are getting a new house. I have a meeting on thursday with a new counciler. I keep getting passed from conciler to counciler and when I found one who was nice and that I felt comfortable talking to they changed me again. Everyone asks me if my counciling is helping me.. well how is it suppose to help me. As soon as I get comfortable in it and am ready to talk about the things that are going on they switch councilers on me. Come on now people how is that going to help me? Well i have to do some school work lataz!! <3 comments r luv'd |
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| 2 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
| 5 oh 8!! | |||
| 10:45am 19/03/2003 | |||
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1.First name : Jessica 2.Middle name : Ruth.. i kno its stupid dont laugh 3.Last name : somethinq... 4.Nicknames : Jess, Jessie, Auntie Jessie, Skank 5.Gender : Female 6.Age : 15 7.Birthday : Julii.22 8.Hieght : 5'7 9.Hair color : blonde 10.Eye color : Blue 11.Color : white 12.Glasses : nope 13.Conatcts : No 14.Braces : No 15.Short or Long hair : lonq 16.Where were u born : Worcester 17.Astrology sign : Cancer 18.Nationality : white.puerto rican 19.Bad habits : Smokinq, druqs 20.Piercings : yah 21.If so where : jus my ears 22.Tatoos : naw 23.If so where : 24.If no - want any: yah 25.Any sisters or borthers : 3 sisters 1 brother 26.If so what are their names: Jenny;19, Trisha; 21, Missy; 29, n my brother Michael; almost 20 27.Most embarrissing moment : wen rob pants me in skool -Animals- 28.Do you have any animals : no 29.If so what : 30.If so what are thier names : 31.What animal do you want that you don't have? A doqqy 32.How many animals do you have : Umm 0 33.How many animals do you want : 1 34.Whats your nicest animal : 35.Your meanest : 36.Most playful : 37.Which one do you like the most? -Favorites- 38.Number : 420 n 69 39.Month : Julii 40.Flavor : Vanilla 41.Shoes : Tommy 42.Store : Hot Topic n DEB 43.Season : Summer 44.Resturant : Bertulli's 45.Appliance : microwave 46.Drink : Mikes, vokda, bicardi silver, 151 47.Food : Oodles n Noodles 48.Artist: Ja Rule.50 Cent.Ashanti.DMX.JAy-Z 49.Color : babii blu. silver. piink 50.Day of the week : Friday 51.T.V show : Road Rule and Real World 52.Sport : none 53.Fruit : kiwi 54.Movie : The Rinq 55.Candy : Sour Patch Kids 56.Gum : Strawberry Bubblicious 57.Icecream : Rainbow bubble qum 58.Holiday : My Birffday 59.Shape : heart 60.Song : DMX- Fly 61.Posestion : My boyfriend This or that- 70.Slat or pepper : Salt 71.Coke or Sprite : Sprite 72.Pencil or Pen : Pen 73.Light or dark : liqht 74.Rain or sunny : sunny 75.Silver or gold : Silver 76.Happy or sad : Happy 77.Cd or Cassette : Cd 78.Skechers or Adiadas : Skechers 79.Hot or cold : Hot 80.Winter or Summer : Summer 81.Black or white : white 82.Inside or outside : outside 83.Powerpuf girls or Charlies Angels : Powerpuff 84.Tatoo or Peircing :piercing 85.Hot topic or Pac Sun :Hot Topic 86.Skiing or snowboarding :Snowboarding 87.Mom or dad : neither i hate them both 88.Cat or Dog : doq 89.Water or Land : Water 90.Sleep or awake : awake but sleep is qood to -First thing that comes to mind- 91.Jack : in the box 92.Rainbow : GS camp.. so not funny 93.Bat : girl 94.Whip : Chris 95.American : chop suey 96.Water : tea 97.Tree : my mom 98.Pine : sol 99.Ice : cube 100.Beautiful : ME |
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| 11 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
| ol' skool | |||
| 08:29am 13/03/2003 | |||
| well mike is okay he was here yesterday.. he is doing much better! well i went to youth group wit cola last nite n saw justin, jackie, britney, matt n a bunch of otha people.. well i talked to chris today n he needs to "talk" to me.. i told him that i guess so now during break i get to talk to him if he makes me cry im ganna fucking hit him! i aint even playin! | |||
| 6 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
| 11:38am 11/03/2003 | ||||
my new number :: 1933 :: |
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| 7 Beautiful - Lo0k | ||||
| 1st. EntrY | |||
| 08:24am 07/03/2003 | |||
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well.. this si my new journal i did it all by myself.. yay! well im not very happy but its okay i still lata ya'll!! |
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| 6 Beautiful - Lo0k | |||
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xbiitchx |
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Sik Peeps Inf0 ChEcK tHiS |
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