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[04 Apr 2004|11:00am] |
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No Doubt- Sunday Morning |
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god i havent updated in forever and a half. go figure. i never can consistently stay with something. well the past what 2 months since i last wrote were pretty crazy. on valentine's day riley (big stupid senior, has he own stuipd show called trivia king) started going out. it was actually pretty wonderful while it lasted. best valentine's day i ever had. me, him, cholie and hallie went up to seattle and walked around the market and then later that night all of us and ivy went to go see Amelie. it was a great day. he was really sweet and seemed pretty perfect through our short 1 month relationship. but it was all sham. he wrote me a song, brought me flowers and wrote me cute little notes. he always said the right thing and said he fucking loved me. i found right after our 1 month anniversary that 2 days after we got together he kissed ivy. now he had liked her for a while and all that so i was pretty pissed but i guess i understood because us getting together was such a whrilwind thing. i was just fucking pissed at ivy because she had spent weeks treating riley pretty shitty when he was worshiping her and all she said was i dont like him not all i dont want him, but of course the second i get with him she loves him. and then the night he told me i found out from someone else that they kissed again on our 1 month. typical. i was so furious, but of course i was such an idiot and believed him when he said he was so in love with me and he didnt care about ivy anymore at all. 1 week after i found out he dumped saying i was a rebound girl the whole thing was a sham he really liked ivy. he was like i did care about you but not as much as i care for ivy. fucktard. i hate him so much. and i really dont like her. they're such idiots. but of course that would happen to me. of course ivy would say she didnt want him and then turn around and say oh no you should've known when i said i dont like him that i do and i want him. duh stupid emily. grr. oh well at least i didnt do anything stupid like sleep with him. you just never can really know someone or trust them. and love is bullshit.
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[23 Jan 2004|10:04pm] |
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moulin rouge soundtrack |
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hello everyone. finals are finally all over yay! life pretty much sucks right now though..i really dont know why..i mean i know all the reasons i should be upset my mom just got home from the hospital after finding out she had these things called TIA's which are mini-strokes..but its like i'm not very upset about that because she did it to herself for years shes been taking way too much mediciation for her supposed ailments and she wont do anything for us and i hate her for it most of the time..she hasnt been a mom in years. but honestly i'm not upset about it..its the norm around her for her to be sick and it doesnt freak me out anymore at all. i feel like a bitch for that but i guess you'd just have to expierence all the shit i've been through with her to understand. so lately i dont know i've been so fucking emotional i hate it..the stupidest things have been setting me off like dumb things someone will say or do, but i dont get angry i just like sit there and cry or try to hold back tears. its so pathetic. i never cry. the last time i really cried was..back in october when ivy and i had a really bad fight, but i dont know if you could really specify that as a good cry. so really not since ryan and i broke up it seems. i just feel so crappy. i called ivy earlier and cried to her..she like tried to ask what was wrong and i didnt know..and the same happend with cholie when she asked if i was ok on the phone. and then i hung out with them and they didnt even try to see if i was ok or wanted to talk..i know its not their fault and it shouldnt upset me but i really got to me. we were all sitting around and i just feel so left out and not cared about with them now. i know i just sound like a whiny bitch and i dont mean too..i know all this crap i'm saying is shit. but sometimes i cant help but feel it. i'm being dumb so i'm gonna go now.
-emily
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[22 Jan 2004|09:16am] |
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all i can hear is freshman whispering |
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well here i am..my very very last day as mr.curtiss' ta yay for me. i got to come in late today (which is why i wrote that ealier entry about DUMB MEN who have cant take fucking responsibility for their own fucking actions). next i have my bio final which is going to be quite easy. then cholies coming home with me so i can help her get ready for her algebra final and get help from her on the english one. then at 4:30 chelseas coming to cut our hair. its really great knowing someone that does hair very well and will come to your house to do it. i think ivy might be tagging along too. i was thinking that i'd get it cut so its like shoulder length with kind of long fringey bangs and layers around my face..the layers around my face has always looked good in the past, but i'm not completely decided on the bangs..i havent had bangs since i was like 8 when my mom used to trim them herself and they were always lopsided but theres this one picture after they were done by someone that knew what the fuck they were doing and they didnt look too horrible. so i dont know ill see what chelsea thinks i totally trust her. "lump slipped on a kiss and tumble into love" i have that song stuck in my head right now. "shes lump shes lump shes lump shes in my head" only 20 more minutes in here. omg he's making these poor kids watch this documentary on moroco except its a silent movie. not like a cool silent movie that has the occasional slide with some writing. it has this weird new age music thats really crappy and its showing kids praying and other crazy religious people. its really quite boring. ok well i'm going to "get a book from my locker" aka go bug niki. much love.
-emily
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| people need to fucking grow up and take responsibility for their own fucking actions! |
[22 Jan 2004|07:54am] |
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Beatles-Here comes the sun |
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gah. i'm really angry right now. so i havent been on here in a while and i was reading the journals i usually read and i found some link to one called perrythepengin which sounded a hell of a lot like conner so i looked at and there was this entry saying that i was such a ho for telling dusty what had happend between him and i like over a year ago. he was like oh she said i said all this shit but really it was her who said it. he made it sound like it was all fucking me and well it wasnt. it was both of us and i told her that. god he is such an asshole. he needs to learn to take responsibility for his own fucking actions. i tooke responsibility for mine he should too. that poor girl being in love with a fucktard like that. he's making me try to come off like some fucking physco thats like bitter and trying to fuck up his relationship with "the love his life" when in reality i dont fucking care i just feel sorry for her being with someone like that. so to clear the air it was both of us he said tons of shit and it wasnt just me. and she came to me asking me if i knew anything i was just going to pretend nothing ever happend and never tell her but when she came to me like that i felt like i had to tell her..it would've been really bitchy of me not to. oh well. i think they're back together now of something so oh well just means he's out of my life and i wont be put in the situation to have to talk to her about what did or didnt happen thank god.
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[13 Jan 2004|08:18am] |
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the juliana theory |
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not even halfway through 1st period and i can tell today is going to be a loooooong day. i forgot i had to do that damn internet busy work crap paper for Mr.O'Neill so now i have to try and find someone to copy from..gah. and then i need to avoid mrs.carpenter trying to get me to take the daily work quiz today and i need to find someones chapter 4 test to borrow. i'm so confused about ivy..on sunday she was saying she did like this guy riley and that she wanted to pounce and she asked him to do something with her this weekend and it seemed like she wasnt totally sure but she was sure enough to give it a try..but now this morning she's like no i dont like him not at all and i fell so bad for riley now..he likes her so much..the poor thing. i think she just gets all crazy when anyone says anything about a guy she might have a thing with and then shes like no i dont like him dont be stupid i dont at all. its pa-fucking-thetic. but whatever. tomorrows arena so we have no clases yay. i think we're all gonna spend the night at nikis so that'll be nice..i really want to be away from my family..they've been particularly crazy lately. oh shit vocab. test today in spanish..i better go study.
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| long day.. |
[12 Jan 2004|09:53pm] |
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the donnas- i didnt like you anyway |
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well hello..i just got back from this forum at school about hip-hop and the negative affects it has on culture it was really quite interesting. i'm glad i went and the 20 points extra credit wont hurt either. had a run in with a friend today..i hate how she has to argue ever opinon to death its to the point where i dont want to share what i think with her because sometimes she kind of shoves her opinon down your throat and acts like she's very willing to accept your opinon but shes not. she'll listen but she'll never accept it deep down she always thinks shes right..or at least with me she does. good fuck. its quite irritating. i thought of something to write that memoir paper on but i'm not satisfied with it..i really dont know what exactly i want to write about and what i want to get it. i really think this a good assignment and i want to write something really great but i'm not sure what to write still. you wouldnt think that thinking of life changing events would be this difficult. well its absolutely freezing out here so i'm just gonna go off to bed.
-emily
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| monday..yuck. |
[12 Jan 2004|08:28am] |
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jet-are you gonna be my girl |
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well i'm here wasting time in 1st period..i hate TA-ing for this class. i mean its nice having a period where i dont actually do anything but all i get is TA credit which counts like for nothing and not doing anything day after day gets quite boring. i suppose i could use this to get mass ammounts of homework done..but i dont. i have a big geometry test today and daily work quiz both of which i am not ready for. i know i cant afford to take the daily work quiz but i dont know if i can afford to not take the test today and give up my option of taking a re-test. ugh. i dont know what to do. i suppose i could just study for the test and do my homework that way if i'm prepared i could get a good grade on both. yea i'll guess i'll just come down with a horribly un-bearable migraine 3rd period but i'll be such a good student that i'll just rest for the period because i absolutely cant miss 4th period. ha. wow mr.curtiss is reading the poor class some really really boring crap about geology that same guy wrote very passionately with tons of description and some of the words if you dont know the meanings just sound dirty..its almost kind of dirty the way he described everything. like he didnt use actual dirty words but some of those adjectives..hm with a completely filthy mindset it could be like a sex novel almost. -sigh- 16 more minutes. hmm maybe i'll go write that paper i said was gonna write last night..nah. i'm not in the mood to right something that actually requires good thought process. cholie gets her braces off today!!! im so excited for her lol. ivy has the most kick ass shirt today i think her sister chloe screened it and theres like this crazy picture of mick jagger on it that you really have to stare out to even figure out that theres a person on it cause it just looks like a bunch of ink its crazy. oh god i found out last night that austins going on the same europe trip as me. bah. i mean him and i were great friends when i was dating his best friend and he couldnt make it sexual at all but now i cant talk to him without him making horrible sexual advances. i mean maybe if he cut his hair and looked like he showered more than maybe once a month i'd consider it..but at this point its like ok theres a difference between waiting a few days between showers out of sheer laziness but still keeping up basic up keep so you dont look too terrible but he doesnt even try to make an effort. and his hair..oh god. its just bad. bad bad bad. back in 9th grade before he grew his hair out he was so hot..just very sexual and beautiful, but i dont know sometime around when he made the tragic mistake of daiting jessica schouviller it all went down hill. yay 9 minutes..i'm gonna try and leave class early.
-emily
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| havent been here in a long while.. |
[11 Jan 2004|04:53pm] |
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the cure- just like heaven |
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so i'm going to try again to keep up with writing in this thing because it is nice to do this and be able to read back and see when certain things happend and what not. so since the last one a hell of a lot of crap happend with the jake and travis..it ended up and a bunch of random lawsuits that i believe have all been dropped and jake is pretty much completely out of our lives because he's kind of a nut job. cholie and him didnt last past like a day lol. travis and i kind of had our ups downs lately but now things are ok..we had one of those "where is this going" talks the day before new years eve and we decided that we wanted to be like an official couple. it was a great night :-D. it was just starting to snow a little bit and we were standing outside kissing in it for a bit..very very cute. so things seemed to be giong absolutely wonderful and i knew i wasnt going to hear from him for a few days because his dad was going into surgery. and then that weekend it snowed so i figured ok when it clears up i'll see him and then monday there was ice and tuesday and wednesday lots and lots of snow and slush. so i understood him not coming by those days..but he could have called i kept thinking. and then i again gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking that maybe that friday he went to centralia and the snow held him up there and he left my number at his house (he has a terrible memory and doesnt know it by heart..which is excusable because of his accident). but now almost 2 weeks since the last time i heard from him i know he's just being a dumb asshole and not calling me or stopping by. i am so angry at him right now..i thought he would be different now. hmph. so thats everything thats happend lately.
i'm really not looking forward to school tomorrow. i hate preparing for finals and those snow days fucked a lot up. oh well i'll survive and at least wednesday is arena so i'll only have to be at school for a few hours. well i better go work on this dumb memoir crap i have to write for english.
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[25 Oct 2003|03:51pm] |
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John Mayer-Why Did You Mess With Forever |
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Thursday was pretty good..Travis is all moved into his new house lol. That house is the funniest place..its the typical bachelor pad, cheap-o, first house place. its like a one bedroom mobile house type thing. decent sized bahtroom, i havent seen the bedroom yet though lol. decent kitchen alright living room. the water is nasty though so they have to get one of those water coolers. he's roommate is really cool, his names Jake, he's really italian with a great accent, he's sooooo nice too. it was so cute we were talking in the van and he was like so do you know any good girls that are single and i was like hmm yea and she's italian (cholie). so i set it up for them to meet on friday. he was like she just has to like being spoiled cause i'm all into that, flowers, candy the whole bit. i was like awwww i wish someone else would do that for me *hint hint* and of course all Travis said was dont look at me. i'm getting so sick of his i'm a poor wounded soul thats going to take it on hating commitment. and then dustin called me and was like where are you and travis was like oh were on our way to a resturant or something like that when i was telling her they were taking me to dance and i was like travis you havent taken me to a resturant like ever. i think i made him feel a little bad :(. oopsies. i'm so glad Travis is living with jake though he'll look out for him and maybe if i'm REALLY lucky jake will rub off on him. so anywho yesterday we all walked downtown to hang out it was great. i had to go over to jesse's before i went over to old school though because my glasses were being all weird and i had to ask him to tighten one of the screws. jesse is so nice and hillarious he showed me his stapler a red one just like the one out of office space luuuuke! gave it to him. i love those guys. so then me n hal headed over to old school and jake was there to meet cholie :-D ah it was great. they really hit it off and he was like dude she's hot and really nice and great to talk to. and she was like aw he's so cute and sooo incerdibly nice. so yay! another good match made by me. now i have to start working on niki again. and travis came by for a bit too but he was in such a bad pissed off mood (run in with his parents i think). oh well me n cholie are gonna go over to their house for halloween i cant wait! it'll be so great! today dustin came over and chelsea did her hair for homecoming she looks soooo pretty chelsea always does an amazing job. and shes touching up my coloring and cuting it for me next week yay. well i better be off so i can make an apperance at turnbows pumpkin carving party the whole clan and a is probably there i love that family lol.
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| SO happy!!! :-D |
[21 Oct 2003|04:44pm] |
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The Cure- Friday I'm in Love |
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today was so great omg. so i had just got off the bus and was walking home when i saw traivs' van parked outside my house :-D so i went up his car and he was sitting in there waiting for me to get home. he looked so cute today. so i was like well i have to hang around until my brothers get home so he came inside and we were like sitting on the couch and talking and he actually initiated cuddling which isnt something he does very often oh it made me soooooo happy. and then we like had this mad makout session for like half an hour until my brothers came home it was great. then he hung out for another hour and we made plans to hang out on thursday we're either gonna go see a movie or just hang out until i have dance. he has such a bad memory though because of his snowboarding accident but thankfully thats really the only thing that had an lasting effect everything else is fine. so yea he's like ok write me a note and i'll super duct tape it to my dashboard. aw it was cute. hes so great so now i cant wait until thursday it'll be great. lalala so happy. :-D
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[20 Oct 2003|10:11pm] |
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finch- three simple words |
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you know what bugs me? when you tell someone repeadetly that you wont do something and they dont believe you. this girl and i were talking at school and somehow her online diary came up and i found hers and she found mine and now she's like freaking out like i'm going to tell anyone about it. i really couldnt care any less and i would never tell anyone about it because a)no one else would care and b)that would be mean. also in her diary she's like oh i like so and so and shes like omg she's gonna tell i'm not going to tell thats rude and i sure as hell wouldnt want anyone doing that to me. bah that just aggravates me. personally i also think all that stuff in her diary about it is just her trying to intimidate me too..its really comical. oh and when people leave anonymous comments and its really apparent who they are and they just rant about something and then dont have the guts to sign it thats a little annoying too. well i gotta go do laundry and call nick and then try to get to bed at a halfway decent time.
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[19 Oct 2003|11:02am] |
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the enchanting sounds of justin's truck lol |
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so i never update this i probably should try to more often..meh..never said i was good at keeping up with a journal thing. i'm at ivys right now and i'm so bored because i cant sleep and shes still sleeping so i'm just sitting here listening to their landscaper justin move dirt around outside..its thrilling..really. not all that much going on with me..friday was hallie's b-day party it wasnt that great but not that bad. there was a lot of drama as always..i really really hate drama. on saturday i cleaned for a bit and then i called ryan and i was complaining about how extremely bored i was so him and his mom came and got me and i hung out at his house all day. we watched office space lol and just kind of ran around but it was great because i havent been over there in so long i missed his family. and his grandpa was there from new york so it was nice seeing him again. i think/hope that slowly but surely my feelings for ryan are fading. but then again they're kind of growing for travis which worries me.
last monday i stayed home "sick" i was really just not up for a school day i was still so tired from homecoming i didnt get like any sleep that entire weekend. so you know i lounged around in my pjs looking like crap all day and then of course who shows up around 4? travis. so i was like rushing to put on some jeans and like brush my hair lol. it was bad. but he was still like emily your so pretty so it was ok i guess. we went to goodwill to drop off some donations from his parents then we went to hollywood video. omg he rented out cold it was horrible. out cold is the saddest excuse for a movie that i've ever ever seen. it was just so dumb. and then he said that the princess bride wasnt a very good movie i was like oh if ivy was here she'd kill you. but then he went on about how she got a little bit of washable blue paint on his new hat at the capital oly game (that oly kicked ass at!!!!!!) sad that he still holds a grudge about that. but travis was being so cute and nice and like kind of insinuating that maybe he wanted to be with me the whole time we were together. like we went over to priest point after getting him a movie and were talking and kind of making out and he was being so sweet so yea i dont know what to think about him. i guess i'm going to try and talk to him about it next time i see him.
well i'm really bored so i'm going to go get some food i think and then i'll come back up here and jump on ivy. hehe.
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| home again.. |
[27 Aug 2003|07:57am] |
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The Go Go's-Our Lips Are Sealed |
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i've decided that i completely hate it here. it just doesnt feel right..i want to be back in new mexico with everyone. it just feels like it fits and everyone thing is right when i'm there. i mean sure i missed my friends and everything and that would be soooo hard and i'm sure i would complain and kick and scream if they tried to take me because i'd miss them terribly but still if i got to visit them and i made some new friends there things would be so much better for me. i think i'm definetly going to college there. maybe i'll go to the albuquerque campus of UNM for college..i would hate to go out to wherever the hell the main campus is its in some nobody town far away from any good big cities, but the campus in albuquerque is pretty nice. *sigh*
yesterday pretty much sucked big time..cholie and ryan like each other. *for all of you that dont know..ryan is my ex-boyfriend. we did break up about a year ago with a few almost get back togethers a few months after that. and yea..i'm dumb and not over him* so i love cholie and i want her to be happy and i know how lonely she's been so i'm trying very very very hard not to let her know how much this is bothering me. but really its killing me. they all know i am not over him..i miss him more than anything and the whole breakup was just me being neurotic and screwing my life up. so i have a choice: a) tell her that its bothering me and i hate it and have her just say oh i know its hard and i'm sorry i'm hurting but she wont change anything and its not like it'll stop or b) keep my feelings to myself and let them happy. ivy and niki did try talking to me about it..niki thinks i'm being dumb and it shouldnt bother me and ivy i think feels the same way. i'm the kind of person that never ever cries..the we complains because they've all cried to me over anything and everything but none of them have ever seen or heard me cry. ryan is the one thing that can make me instantly start bawling. ivy heard me cry..last night on the phone she tried to get me to talk about it. i couldnt and i wouldnt. i just cried and said i had to go to sleep and hung up on her. i couldnt take it. so i'm stuck..its like either way im gonna be in pain so i just have to decide which way is better. probably choice b. isnt there some un-written rules that friends are supposed to leave your ex's alone and out of their love lives? especially the one that your bestfriend isnt over yet?
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[10 Aug 2003|10:46am] |
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the knack- my sharona |
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*oh my little pretty one, my pretty one, when you gonna give me some time sharona, oh you make my motor run, my motor run, gunning coming off of the line sharona, never gonna stop, get it up, such a dirty mind, i always get it up for the touch of younger kind..*
hehe such a dirty old man song but i love it lol. who doesnt? so i leave for new mexico on tuesday and i have soooo much laundry and soo much packing to get done which explains why i'm on here, right? lol. eh i'm a procrastinating despite the fact that i'm gonna have to be up at 4 on tuesday morning i'll be up till midnight monday night finishing packing. omg the crossing's concert was soooooo much fun! god their lead singer is so hot *drools* hehe. i used like an entire roll of film getting pictures of the band i think i got some pretty great ones of cary and nate *the lead singer* ooo and i got one of cary's broken bass strings *swoons* lol not really. cary has a really great girlfriend, jessica*everyone calls her komenda tho*, so i dont actually love him but niki and i pretend we do and like we're his groupies. before their set cary was sucking on the pick he uses in the show cause thats what he does to get ready and then he was all oh here do you wanna touch my pick and we made this big deal about it, it was hillarious, but i guess you just kinda had to of been there. we also found like the ultimate downtown man lurking around lol we're insane and we asked if we could take his picture. he reminded me of ducky from pretty in pink. oh god i love ducky in that movie! i wish i could find a guy like that. or have a guy like that find me ;). "can i admire you again today?" and "i'll meet you later, we'll do lunch, i'll call down and make reservations by the window. oh wait you hate sunlight..i'll figure something out." hehe he's so cute. who wouldn't swoon if a guy said stuff like that to you? apparently not her..but she still loved and appreciated the duck man. well i guess i must go start my laundry so i can go shopping and get my film devolped *yay*.
love love,
em
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| losing my mind |
[08 Aug 2003|01:39pm] |
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lonely |
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kim carnes- bette davis eyes |
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i can not wait until 5:00 rolls around..my mom is being all phsyco again. my brothers and i are supposed to go to new mexico on tuesday which i'm sort of looking forward to. my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins live there the only down side is having to fly there with my brothers and be there with me. now today i'm just feeling over loaded and alone. i spent the day with travis yesterday and it didnt exactly go perfect..i mean it was fun and all..but i dont know. things are just weird. nick is being all lovey dovey and bah. tonights carey's concert thank god. so the we's meeting at 5:30 at old school and then i think i'm gonna shop a little and then we'll go to the concert. tomorrow's gonna be another we day and then sunday my cousin codys coming for the day. my moms starting to threaten me saying that she's going to go to new mexico with the boys instead..ha..yea right like she could handle them for one day. gah i'm so sick of guys who have a fucking girlfriend but are still like all ooo i want you i need you with tons of girls yet they say it to you and you fucking believe that its different with you. i'm damn sick of that. why cant i find a good guy? where have they all gone? hmph.
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| first entry! |
[07 Aug 2003|01:04pm] |
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madonna- hollywood |
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hello! well this is my very first entry. *meaningful pause* well i suppose i should tell you all about myself because i'm sure you are all just hanging on to your seats in anticaption of finding out all about wonderful, glorious, enchanting me. haha. well i'm 14 i'll be 15 on september 13th, i'm going to be a sophmore. i'm a very very ecletic person when it comes to pretty much everything. especially my music. now i hate boybands with a passion but im in love with justin timberlake..but then again how can you not be? he's so cute lol. i'll admit his music isnt the best but i mean he's not that horrible when he's alone. then i love 80's music..my all time favorite being my sharona. then i'll listen to the beatles and then like change it to sugarcult. i LOVE sugarcult. the drummers mom is my friends french teacher and my ex-boyfriends art teacher so that makes us practically family right? lol. my family is a big old dysfunctional heap. my mom had her leg amputated when i was in the 6th grade and ever since then she's been in and out of the hospital. she went kind of crazy for a while and she still pretty much is. she was addicted to every medicine under the sun including morphine. i personally think she still is addicted to some of her meds. she's like paranoid..not like i'm crazy they're out to get me paranoid. but like my dad and i are against her and try to team up against her and we think she's crazy but really she's just misunderstood. thats not the case at all..she's just really selfish and got too used to being completely taken care of when she was really sick. well its been 4 years and she's phsyically all better and been through 4 years of therapy and a few phsyc ward visits so you'd think things would start turning up. i have two little brothers daniel (7) and christian (5)..they're adorable i guess..i've been like a second mom to them ever since my mom got sick because all of our family lives in new mexico so they werent around to help much. so for the past 4 years my life has been school and taking care of them. my mom took that for granted and now tries to get me to feel like it's my responsiblity to care for HER sons that SHE gave birth to. now i understand she needs help but i've been doing this for way too long and i'm ready to start having a more normal life and being able to go out and have fun without getting a guilt trip for it. not that i dont go out and stuff..i do as much as i can. but my mom makes a big deal of it. ok and thats pretty much all anyone needs or probably wants to know about them. otherwise i have a group of 4 amazing friends (niki, cholie, ivy and hallie)..we call ourselves the "we" just becasue we're always together and it makes things easier if we have a name for ourselves. not that those are my only friends..i have a lot of great friends. but those are my closest friends. im currently single..i have a "thing" with this guy named travis..he's 19..just graduated..great guy. i met him through ivy because they've always been really good friends. and then i have this guy nick..he lives in illinois..so its a horrible long distance thing and its very very hard. we've known each other for almost 2 years and i've always been in love with him but i try to go on with my life because we tried the long distance relationship and it didnt work. he's convinced though that i am the one..but i'm not ready for something that serious i mean i'm only 14..so yea theres all sort of fun dysfunction with that. well i'm off. i'll write more tomorrow. love love.
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