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memories .. [10 Nov 2003|06:11am]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | still watching trl ]

oh yeah i totally forgot to say what i planned to say in my last entry lol .. okay well this weekend was kinda like about 'memories' cuz while i was cleaning .. i came across a lot of old notes from last year and middle school and i used to keep actual journals which i'd write in all the time in middle school. man i didnt realize how disturbed and crazy i was in middle school lol .. but anyways .. i read ALL of that stuff .. the things i wrote last year though .. when i read all that i seriously wanted to throw up. i couldnt believe how stupid i was last year .. ugh .. i was like sitting on my floor reading notes from him and crying my eyes out thinking 'how could someone do this' and i dunno i juss got realli sick and mad and juss wanted to fucking claw his eyes out. if you dont know who im talking about then you should think a LiTTLE harder cuz its not too difficult to put the pieces together.

anyways then came the notes and journals from 7th and 8th grade .. oh man .. i started crying again but because of different reasons. recalling things that happened in those years got me thinking about someone and wondering what theyre doing now and how they are. is that a bad thing? i mean i dunno sometimes you say youre not gonna drift apart from someone but it happens with time anyway. i was realli happy back then though .. i think if i could go back to then and live one more day .. id do it in a heartbeat. i was reading this online conversation i printed out with me and this someone and this one line stuck out in my mind when i was told "ashley, dont ever change. youre a wonderful, caring person and the world needs more people like you"" i cried when i read that. sometimes you just have to wonder. those were days i dont wanna forget. is it wrong to think like this? i dunno. im dumb.

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woooo long entry [10 Nov 2003|06:03am]
[ mood | full ]
[ music | watching TRL ]

hey.. oh my i havent written in here in a while so lemme juss try and remember wuts happened this weekend lol .. alrite on friday i went to volunteer at banyan and did the usual grading papers and whatnot. i saw my first grade teacher shes like "ASHLEY? ASHLEY HOO? YOURE STILL SO BEAUTIFUL" lol i was like wow hi !! lol .. then i went to do my hair and kenida cut it and i didnt even ask her to..i was pissed and my hair looks like shit now lol ... i was supposed to go to the pompano/monarch game which was our last game, but this big mix-up happened and my dad couldnt realli take me and i duno what happened lol i was mad but i was like whatever cuz i didnt wanna fight with my parents cuz i said i wasnt gonna do that anymore [unless they start with ME lol]

saturday i woke up at like 8:00 and juss chilled until 11:00 .. my grandma myrna came over and she, my mom, and i fucking cleaned my room until like 3:00 .. my room is like spotless right now it's never been this clean *EVER* lol i was so proud .. but yeah its gonna get fucked up in a little while anyways.. i dont realli remember what i did after that. but yeah then at like 6:30 i went to sawgrass and met thomas there .. omg i shuld be in jail right now for sumthin i did lol but lets not get into that lol .. it was an honest mistake! lmao .. dont ask. anyways yeah thomas & i saw texas chainsaw massacre .. omg lol i only screamed like once though it wasnt as scary as i thought it was gonna be. personally i thought cabin fever was much scarier but hey thats just my opinion! lol yeah so i had fun with thomas of course :-D sometimes i amaze myself at how stupid i act around him though and he still manages to wanna stay with me lol .. oh man im a lucky girl lol i love him so much :-D hehe .. so yupp then i went home and my grandma slept over mi casa .. the end

okidoki well on sunday i woke up and felt so so so lazy .. so all day i laid in my bed and watched LIFETIME movies lol those movies are always so sad lol .. i saw one called 'switched at birth' it was like three hours long though .. sooo sad though i started crying! then umm i went to dinner last night with my familia and i met my uncle chris and aunt elisa there cuz its their 7 year anniversary :-D so i ate a lot and got home .. the end .. lol .. OHH i decided what i wanna be when im older :-D lol ive been thinkin about it for a long time and i finally know. okay DUN DUN DUN ... ashley is gonna be a obstetrician! if yur not aware, that is a doctor that delivers babies. ive researched everything about it and i realli wanna do that .. i think it'd be so amazing to actually help bring a little baby into the world :-D aww! lol

alright well today was a really stupid day lol .. i MISS KELLY! she comes back tonight though lol .. first block i did nada .. second block i took my ass to SLEEP for the longest time lol .. crystals always like "grl dont u get any sleep at home!?" lol .. then third block idk what we did lol .. lunch was SO funni i duno ashley and i were being sooo stupid and thomas had this look on his face like we were the stupidest people ever .. so ashleys looks at him and goes "do you LOVE us?" LMAO omg it was the way she said it i was crackin up lol .. and thomas admitted that the cow girl was ugly :-D i was proud lol .. fourth block we did our articles and i did my english homework then talked to guy and ryan lol .. whoa man that class is so much fun .. austin taught me how to make a bottle cap fly across a room using two fingers .. haha im so talented lol. okidoki well im gone to do nothing now. NO SCHOOL TOMORROW lol .. bye

[ sorry if theres any typos - i typed this realli fast lol ]

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haha he loses -- [06 Nov 2003|06:18pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | watchin family matters *lol* ]

hey . . okay well today was stupid! lol .. last night was even stupider lolol .. thomas said he would be able to go a whole month without kissin me so we made a bet .. i dont even kno how it started lol .. but newayz .. kelli didnt come to school today :'( so sad .. at lunch omg thomas sat with the cinco de mayos .. it was sad .. i was like NOOOOO lol he talked to them too :( hes so mean to me sometimes lol jk but its okay i love him!!! he knows i hate those cincos lmao .. and kevin was making fun of me like all day .. man today sucked lol .. fourth block i actually had fun though .. we went to the media center and after i did my work, hillary and i took quizzes at lol it was fun .. then when we got back to the class .. me, hillary, courtney, guy, ryan, kyle, and austin were talking about stupid shit lol .. i was laughin sooo much oh man they crack me up. gotta love fourth block thats my favorite class :D lol .. then after school thomas walked me out and hahaha he was tryin to get me to kiss him so i'd lose the bet but i have *willpower* lol then juss when i was about to leave, he kissed ME lmao wooo! i won & he loses! he couldnt even go a day without a kiss :D aahahaha .. anyways i duno what else to say about today .. tomorrow i gotta do so much shit so im prolly not goin to the tailgate party but im definetely goin to the football game. who wants to hang out with me on saturday? lmao .. bye guys

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>> bye bye kelli :'( [05 Nov 2003|06:59pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | listening to kelli sing *nooo* lol ]

hola .. waddup? well today wuz realli boring .. all my days have been boring lol so i really dont know why im writing in here. things with my mommi have been good and bad .. bad cuz she bitches at me for everything and good cuz she can be cool when she wants to be. it realli juss sucks that i cant talk to her about stuff like .. stuff about my boyfriend and things like that the 'mother-ly' things i should be able to talk to her about .. but yeah she has to be too stupid and judgemental and gay all the time so i dont even bother going there. but anyways i dont realli mind it anymore thats just how she is and im happi to have my mom anyways. okay well .. what else did i have to say? oh yeah .. my cousin sean and i thought it'd be cool to steal his moms car and go to costco for undisclosed reasons but we didnt lmao that woulda been so cool though lol we're too chicken! haha

things are going good in my life anyways though .. cept for certain things that get me annoyed but im not even gonna go into that .. yeah. kelli is leaving me on friday to go to new york :( im sad. shes not even gonna go to school tomorrow. what a butt! i love my kelly what am i gonna do without her for like .. days .. lol .. friday night im going to the pompano/monarch game and gunna chill with jen .. missy .. ashii .. everyone lol .. thatll be fun .. and then i duno about the tailgate party yet cuz imma be tired lol friday i gotta do soooo much shit lol .. then saturday i duno what im doin but i wanna go see a movie! blah okay well i duno what else to say so i might as well go do business homework :-p bye

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g00d day * [03 Nov 2003|05:34pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]
[ music | avant - read your mind ]

wooo yesterday was my three month anniversary with thomas :D i had a good day .. hmmm i dont remember what happened though lol .. all i know is i felt *SO* stupid today .. it was juss one of those days where everything i said sounded retarted lol .. first block we juss talked .. second block OMFG i got a B on my midterm! ARENT YALL PROUD OF ME? hollly shittt! i was bout to cry i swear .. so mani people failed and i got a B? wow im gonna study from now on lol .. third block uumm i duno we took a fuckin test that took the entire block .. and lunch it was .. intresting .. i duno .. haha .. and um fourth block we did this thingy in groups .. i felt so dumb i kept saying stupid stuff :'( tracy was like "you shoula been born a blonde" lol it was sad .. and haha it was funni cuz tracy was like "OMG when your heart beats, if you look down you can see your boob moving!" so her, kelli and i were lookin down at our boobs to see it move AHAHAHAHA *d0nt ask it was weird* but then justin came in he's like wtf yall need help! lol .. funni stuff .. then uumm yeah .. after school thomas gave me sumthin he is SO SO SO SO sweet .. i LOVE him so much! i was gonna like cry i was thinkin wowww im so lucky :'( i dont deserve all this for real! oki doki well im out for now guys .. bye ;D


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WHY DOESNT THiS WEEKEND END ALREADY!!? [01 Nov 2003|01:29pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | tupac ft. biggie - runnin' ]

hey all .. okay usually i'd be happi that the weekend is HERE but right now i juss want to go to school and get away from my goddamn family .. i swear i juss hate being here all the time .. like on thursday .. me and my mom and aunt got in this huge argument about absolutely nothing. its like i cant have a fucking opinion in this house and i cant say anything that wont offend anyone. they basically juss went off on me saying how they hate being around me cuz im so negative and i always ruin a good time by saying shit. then they were juss saying how im always in a bad mood around them and they were putting me down and saying how horrible i am the whole car ride and how im embarrassing cuz im never happi .. HAHAHA .. they think im not HAPPY? i fucking wonder why im not happi .. its onli around them though .. its kinda funni cuz to my friends im almost alwaiz happi and smiling or laughing .. and around my family i juss seem so depressed cuz they MAKE it that way .. THEY are the ones who bitch and complain about everything. fuck that .. i know im a bitch to them sometimes but its not alwaiz my fault. so now my mom and i arent on speaking terms at all .. but whatever .. i dont even care anymore .. im juss gonna do what the fuck they say and not even try to make conversation with her cuz it always ends up bad. im staying out of her life.

anyway .. yesterday was halloween .. i did nothing special. well i had to take my lil cousin isabelle around. she was barbie lol .. it was so cute .. but yeah sum familia came over and we ordered pizza .. i saw gina cuz she was walking around with her little sister .. i was walking and gina's like "YOURE A GATORS CHEERLEADER I GET IT" and im like uh no .. cuz i was wearing blue soffees and an orange halter top lol .. im like 'im not anything gina but i sure do love that mask youre wearing' lol .. oh man good times .. uum yah thats all i really did .. today i was supposed to chill with thomas but im not even gonna bother having my mom yelling at me so im not even gonna ask .. shes soooo mean to me i dont wanna LIVE here anymore for real .. i feel bad though i wouldnt blame thomas if he was mad at me :'( man i was crying so much on thursday night when i got in the fight with my mom .. and like thomas kept calling me but i had turned off my phone cuz i wasnt in the mood to talk obviously cuz i was crying histerically for like two hours .. but yeah jumper left a message on my phone i duno he probably wasnt kidding hes like "PICK UP THE PHONE YOUR BOYFRIEND WANTS TO TALK TO YOU" and i duno i came to the conclusion that im a bad girlfriend .. i reallly really am .. i dont deserve someone like thomas im like no good. why would anyone want to EVER be with me im such a hassle.

` oNe lOve ` * ASHLEY

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h0mec0ming o3!! [26 Oct 2003|05:09pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | kelis - milkshake ]

OMG --> HOMECOMING WAS THE SHITTT lol iight well first kelli and ash came over at like 6PM and we all got readi & my aunt sharri did our makeup and stuff .. then we took a whole bunch of pictures lol .. the LiMO came at 7:30 so we went in .. we were trying to work the radio for like a long time but finally it fell on my knee and automatically started working. that was weird. the windows werent working LMAO so we had to bother the driver and we were like 'heyy can you put down the windows' then five minutes later 'my hairs getting messed up can you roll UP the windows' lol .. we drank sum wine and omg i brought a HUGE canteen of corona .. oh man i love that stuff but ash & kelli dont like it haha. well neways we went to ashleys neighbors house cuz they wanted to take pictures too .. i love pictures wooo .. then we drove to the howard johnsons at deerfield beach where HOMECOMING was .. haha .. obviously we could bring in the drinks so i swear i chugged the whole canteen of corona by MYSELF .. i felt automatically dizzy right there and i was thinking oh man why the fuck did i do that lol .. but yeah it was so windy when we got out i was like WHOAAA MY HAIR lol and we walked in and took pics there .. the decorations were actually nice .. i dont know but ashley and kelli said i was acting realli stupid and i was dizzy and drunken lol im so dumb though .. kelli said at one point i said really loudly "HEY THOSE GIRLS LOOK SO UGLY" and shit haha .. oh man .. i kept asking for thomas and when he got there they told him to take care of me and i was SO out of it my eyes were rolling around everywhere .. and ash said i was tripping over everything and people saw me :-/ yeah basically it wasnt a pretty sight. ash & kelli wanted to leave me cuz i was being super annoying but i juss kept finding them lol .. wow. yeah remind me never to drink again!

>>DANCiNG<< daaamnn my legs felt like jello by the end of the night. i seriously thought my thighs were gonna fall off and id never be able to walk again. all i did was dance the wholleee time lol with little breaks in between lol they played iight music though .. and sum kinda slow-ish songs when i was with thomas :D aww i love him soooooo much .. i loved just being there with him so close and dancing with him woo .. he makes me so happy ;D aaah i love dancing haha they should have like five homecomings a year lol it was SO much fun and i took lots o' pictures too .. woo woo .. i had to pee like 405830583 times though cuz of all those .. liquids haha .. and yeah well the dance ended at midnight :'( sadness. i didnt wanna leave! it shouldve be five hours cuz the daylight savings stuff but it wasnt and i was like noooooo .. lol .. my hair was so fucked up by the end of the dance though .. man everyone was sweating like WHOAA and yah it was bad lol ..

AFTER H0MEC0MiNG okay so we all were standing around and i like wouldnt let go of thomas i was like NOO i dont wanna go :'( lol .. and the limo was waiting so ashley said we were going to wendys .. so hes like okay well jumper and rurbo can meet him at wendys. so he jumps in the limo with us and i was like WOO! lol and then ashleys like "JOE GET IN!" so joe got in the limo too lol .. and so we were driving around and yeah omg it was so much fun .. wendys was CLOSED and so we drove to dairy queen cuz all they wanted was ice cream .. but that was closed too .. and then we went to WAL-MART cuz its 24 hours ya know lol .. so we went there and i didnt put on my shoes cuz they were hurting my feet .. and i wasnt gonna buy anything anyways so why would they care ya know .. but yeah they got their ice cream and then this lady came up to me and was like "oh im sorry you have to leave if you dont have shoes on" lol .. and so i left haha .. thats so sad i got kicked out of wal-mart. im such a loser!!!! we must have looked weird though at like one in the morning running around wal-mart in like nice dresses and lookin all nice hahhaa .. then yeah we were parked in the front waiting for jumper & them to come so haha it was kelli, ash & joe on one seat and me and thomas were like laying on the other seat .. havin fun :-D lol .. man that was like the best part of last night lol we were going at it for the longest time lol .. then jumper & turbo showed up and thomas and i didnt want to leave eachother yet lol he's like FIVE MORE MINUTES lol .. but yeah jumper opens the door and im like laying on top of thomas lmao and he hands him a condom and were like noo lol it was funni .. yah then they had to go eventually :'( so they left and we left and yahh .. on the way back we juss talked and reminiced on the FUN of the night lol .. it was GREAT! and we got home at like 2:00 i think lol who knows what time it was .. and we juss chilled & talked sum more .. ashleys hair was like WHOAAA when i took out her hair-do lol .. and we went to sleepyy ...

THiS MORNiNG we woke up at 9:11 lol that was freaky haha .. and um had breakfast and talked and played mario kart lol .. we juss really laid around and did nothing but i had fun lol .. we kept calling thomas but his phone was off .. ashley left messages saying like "ashley said goodmorning and she loves you!" lol it was funni and we kept saying stuff like "MARLINS WON .. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" lol thats so awesome that they won though ;D go marlins haha .. anyways yeah ash and kelli left at like 1:00-ish and now im doing homework and i think im going to my aunts soon but who knows.. alright im out for now. HOMECOMING WAS THE BEST EVERRR lol .. i love thomas!

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h0mec0ming game 'o3 [25 Oct 2003|12:56pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | ying yang twins - naggin ]

well last night was VERY eventful .. bad stuff was goin down! but first anyways i got to the homecoming game at like 6:40 and met w/ ash .. and we were jus chillen and kelli came .. and then missy .. and everything was all good and i have no idea what went wrong from there. okay well first i needed a fuckin tampon [sorry for the details lol] and i couldnt find out and i was about to CRY lol and then well i got one so i was happi and then uh okay this hoe came up to kelli and started bitching about something that kelli DIDNT do but DAVID lynch said she 'probably' did or something .. and then kelli got upset and was crying in the bathroom for like ever and i felt sooo bad i didnt know what to do. i was tryin to tell that grl that kelli wouldnt do nothin like that but whatever she didnt even listen she didnt even know any of the fuckin facts she juss kept runnin her mouth. then we all called david and fuckin bitched at him .. starting last night, me and him are NOT friends anymore. i dont tolerate people lying about shit they dont even know about. all he ever does is lie to people to get them to like him. fuck him i dont even need him anyways my life is better without all the drama. it just hurt me sooo much how kelli was in tears and i swear if david was anywhere near me i fuckin woulda punched him in the face. im like almost in tears while typing this cuz it just hurt me soooo much that he would do something like this. i used to think of him like a big brother but now i know you cant trust people like that. whatever.. and kelli left early. after that ash and missy got into a fight ... omg they were both like I FUCKING HATE YOU and arguing and i was literally in the middle of it so i walked off .. and missy followed me .. so it seemed like i was just leaving ash who was crying also. my dad was like 'come on we have to leave' and i wanted to see thomas so i was pissed .. so i walked off and whatever. ash told missy that we all know about her journal where she was basically talking shit about us .. well what she said about me is bullshit anyways. she said that me and thomas' relationship isnt as serious as her and mike's .. why ? because me and thomas havent had sex. thats so fucking stupid in my opinion .. sex doesnt make any relationship more serious. anyone can go out with someone for like one week and fuck them .. does that make THAT relationship serious? i think not. but whatever i wasnt gonna confront missy bout it cuz hey thats her opinion and even though its wrong to me i want to be civil with everyone no matter what they say about me when im not around. i hate drama and unnecessary drama is even worse. lifes too short to be fucking holding grudges and whatever.

but on a good note . . we won the football game ;D we played coral springs charter panthers .. and i forgot the score it was like 40-23 i dunno .. but i was happi we at least won cuz we were losing in like the second quarter. yah .. uum so i was on my way home and i was just filled with emotions and on the phone w/ ash and she was crying soo much asking if i was mad at her and i was like nooo why would i be? and we talked for a long time and then kelli called and we talked too .. then i got home and called both of them so we ALL talked .. lol .. a lot of talking was going on. david lynch called me and we talked .. well he talked trying to explain but i told him our friendship is over. i dont even care whatever. hes like 'im telling the truth .. friends are supposed to believe friends' .. bullshit. hes a fucking liar anyways. then i talked to thomas and he was also pissed cuz kelli was upset .. we all think he should kick davids ass. i want JOE to beat david up man i'd pay good money to see that shit. but yeah .. im puttin david and all his shit behind me because today is my HOMECOMING dance and im gonna have a GREAT time .. i dont want what happened last night to be repeated ever again. im not gonna let what happened last night affect my day today. okay .. well im gonna be drunk as fuck tonight so i'll tell you how it went tomorrow ;D bye all

xoxo i L0VE TH0MAS >> ASHLEY

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pn0 spirit day 'o6 - - [23 Oct 2003|06:21pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | watching family matters lma0 ]

WOOO i love spirit day LOL! okay well we had our pep rally during second block and it was outside. i thought it was gonna be scorching hot like last year which was pure hell .. but it was soo nice outside lol .. there was like a huge group of us in the front and we were SO goddamn loud. we were like SOPHOMORESS!! 06 06! haha i had sooo much fun lol .. i think we're so much louder than the seniors lol ;-p the juniors are DEAD as hell i swear they all juss sit there the whole time and the freshman .. dont get me started on them haha .. ma friends started the whole GO HOME FRESHMAN chant .. lol funni stuff. we were so loud tho my throat started to hurt lol .. the football team had to introduce themselves n when it was thomas' turn i was like WOOOOOOOOOOOO!! haha .. good times. anyways - after that third block was boring and lunch we all juss talked and we were laughin bout stuff i dont even remember lol it was like me thomas kelli ash joe and kevin at one table lol .. we're so dumb tho they were throwing pizza at eachother. and uuh fourth block we had a SUBSITUTE lol .. so we did a lil work and then juss chilled. the guy was so funni though .. he kept saying how he liked my handwriting haha and omg there were lots of people in the hallway so me and kelli jus went out there but we had to sign a paper saying we wouldnt go far from the door haha .. LOL then yah thats the end of my day basically .. got home and heard a story about how two faced some people are and how some people pose as friends but realli are talking shit behind your back. its funni how others think they know something but in reality they only know what you TELL them .. so fuck you .. you know who you are hopefully and if you DONT know what im talking about .. dont ask me. ANYWAYS. homecoming game tomorrow ;D and HOMECOMING DANCE SATURDAY. cant FUCKING wait. i LOVE pompano! lol


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fav0rite sp0rts team day - [22 Oct 2003|06:02pm]
[ mood | lazy ]
[ music | clay aiken - invisible ]

yah well today i wore my LAKERS jersey for favorite sports team day lol .. everyone was like KOBE'S A RAPiST. lol whatever he's iNNOCENT dammit lol .. anyways - first block i juss did like nothin and talked to matt for 45 mins .. man that was good times .. we were laughin bout this time when we were online in like 8th grade and we told this guy we were going to jacksonville to like sugar lane to kick his ass .. [[ long story ]] lol it was so funni though .. ah memories! ANYWAYS second block i forgot what i did .. talked to crystal! third block we did sooo much work as usual omg and i had to present my poster. lunch we took pictures again haha and my throat felt funny .. i was like THOMAS MY THROATT lol .. he thinks im getting sick but im not. its not fair im like always sick so i cant be sick again. SO yeah then fourth block we did nada .. we dont do anything ever everrr in that class but hey im not complaining! kelli and i signed this paper for mrs culina saying that we wouldnt use alcohol or sumthin lol for EXTRA CREDIT .. haha kelli was like 'noooo i cant sign it' and im like whatever juss sign it for extra credit and get drunk tomorrow! haha .. me kel and austin were talkin bout drugs and this fuckin criminal in our class had this crap called cactus magic or something like that LMAO and we're like DO YU DO ECSTACY and hes like no .. and were like aw man .. lol it was funni .. but ya kelli was being mean to him and im like STOP iT lol cuz he could like shoot her .. cuz he was gonna go to juvi once for shootin at sum other guy haha .. oh man. scary stuff. after school i was like THOMAS yu promised you'd write me a note! and i was all sad .. and hes like oh really .. and im like yea :( and i went to hold his hand and he had a note in his hand and im like AWW lol so yah he did write me one. woo woo! anyways okay im done typing now. oh yeah i was watching SWITCHED on abc family and this guy on it was amish. man it must suck to be amish .. okay bye lol


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wacki tacki day 'o3 [21 Oct 2003|02:30pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | boys 2 men - end of the road ]

well .. today was iNTRESTiNG. lol .. got to school sooo early again .. thanks to my dads speeding on the highway. i swear he doesnt drive under 60 mph wherever we go. this morning he was going 90 im like WHOA BUDDY lol .. anyways first and second block i was forced to take the stupid PSAT so i was stuck in mrs scotts class .. blah blah .. boring-ness. man okay today for wacki tacki day i had on the weirdest shit lol people said i looked cute though lmao .. i think it was the pigtails haha. THOMAS omfg kelli called him olympic barbie or something lmao he had the funnniiesstt thing on lmao omfg i cant even describe but i have pictures LOL so ill post them whenever i can. haha .. oh man. then third block we did like fifty things as usual. lunch was funni .. we took pics and stuff .. fourth block we did nothing lol i luv that class. OMG i was gonna use the mechanical stapler lol those things are sooo scary i kept jumping whenever i tried to use it .. weird. yeah. lol i talked to kelli and austin basically the whole time. we were laughin bout dumb shit .. as usual lol .. and i was talking to guy lol he is soo funni .. yaah. then went on the bus and talked to kata and that was the end of my school day. woo .. i wrote thomas two notes today and one was like WHY DONT YOU WRITE ME NOTES lol and he called me after school & said he didnt like writing notes or somethin lol i was like ookiedokie! but i think hes gonna write me one lol. i like notes ;-D they make me feel special lol .. thomas makes me so happi though .. mannn i love that kid lol. love, love, love. [ sorry kelli i had to add that lol ] she doesnt like the end of my entries cuz theyre always about love muhahahaa .. okay well imma go now lol .. lataz ..


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TWiN DAY - - > o3 [20 Oct 2003|02:38pm]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | 112 - anywhere [[ old school lol ]] ]

OK well last night gina and i went to wal-mart with my dad lol .. shes hilarious i luv that grl! lol yah today was another WOO day lol .. so yeah its HOMECOMiNG WEEK ... fun fun fun :-D today was TWiN day .. ash kel and me had shirts that sed "iM WiTH STUPiD" lol omg it was soo kute .. mr.frey took a pic of us for the yearbook lol we're so cool! anyways. haha .. i got to school super early [6:30AM] and talked to kelli and blah blah .. went to first block .. did nothing .. i handed in my poem for the literary magazine :-D second block we took a test i probably failed .. oh oh i gave thomas a card that i bought at the mall saturday. i hope he liked it :-/ i wrote so much in it and like the theme of it was No Matter What, I Love You and it had like a lil poem it was cute :-D haha .. then umm yah health class we juss talked about teenage pregnancies and junk .. at LUNCH ooh man haha we took pics and ya it was funni stuff .. fourth block did soo much unnecessary work .. then went HOME! omg guys i am so happi .. today was one of my happiest days lol .. i am so in love with thomas and right now i feel like that wont ever change .. i was SO happi and STiLL am! i love love love him .. hehe :-D i went into second block and my friend was like "you and thomas got back together didnt you" and im like howd yu know? LOL and shes like "i could see your smile from like a mile away" lmao .. yuhh .. omg i got my school PiCTURES back hahaa .. it looks iight but one part of my hair is fo'ed up but erry1 on the bus was like OHH OHH AWW YU LOOK SO NiCE so im like ook whatever lol so im not gonna get re-takes cuz what if those are worse than the ones i have now? YEAH. uuh tomorrow is WACKY TACKY DAY and oh boy im gonna look so fucked up haha .. imma be mismatched and lookin VERY tacky lol .. ill take pics dont worri .. i love homecoming week lol and i cant WAiT for homecoming! i luvvv dancing .. iight well lata guys xoxo - -


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SO - W O N D E R F U L ** [18 Oct 2003|11:36pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | 112 - crazy over you ]

OMG lol .. today was a WOO day .. as ashley would say LOL! okay well i got up at like 9:45 .. and went online of course .. kinda talked to thomas but i dont remember exactli what was said .. i juss remembered being sad .. then uuh around 2:00 i went to coral square to get a HOMECOMiNG dress .. we went to dillards and burdines and jcpenny and sears .. blah blahh .. OMFG ash got stuck in a dress lolol the zipper wouldnt go down she was so scurred lol it was funni shit .. and kelli was gonna call for help but then i got her outta the dress so kellis like nvm i lied! haha yu had to be there it was hilarious .. lol .. we got FOOD .. china chow .. lol .. and umm ya we ate .. i got an eggroll .. good times .. we talked and then we went to get coffee too LOL i saw this grl jamie that i used to go to middle school with .. she wuz nice .. then uuh ya we found a gold dress in sears so i called my mom to come see it .. aah im forgetting everything that happened LOL .. kelli had to leave and so ash and i were sad lol .. so we went to go in these massage chairs that talked to us lol and we went and blasted the kim possible soundtrack in FYE lol .. we are too cool .. and omg lol this guy was like 'hey i know you youre in my third block' and im like uuh no yur not .. and he said 'yeah yu go to my school' and im like 'no you dont go to pompano' and hes like 'YOU KNOW ME' and i said NO I DONT .. and he said 'well can i get to know you' and im like uhh lemme think .. NO. lol .. the kid smelled like weeeddd lol .. weed man .. and uuh ya it was funni i was thinkin wow thats a pick up line ive never heard i thought i heard em all lol .. the WORST one ever was some kid one day was like 'hey i lost my phone number can i have yours?' LOL oh man .. ANYWAYS! i dont rememba wut else .. well my mom got there and i showed her the gold dress but she didnt like it .. so yea i was sad. ash & her mommi left so me and my mom went to burdines .. didnt find a dress .. then went to dillards and FOUND ONE omg lol its pretti .. its like a maroon-ish color .. and cute .. lots of cleavage LOL .. oh man .. yeah and umm then we went to my aunts house to show her my dress .. i saw alexis and shes doin me and kelli's hair for homecoming .. and i saw J.T. omg hes getting so BIG! hes soooo adorable lol then i got home .. and i have the best news EVER guys .. THOMAS AND I ARE GOING OUT AGAIN!! mostly thanks to kelli and jenice! omg lol they are cool girls lol .. luv em! and i LOVE him so much .. i cant even describe how happi i am .. i know things arent gonna be the same right away but im willing to wait until hes comfortable around me again. i know i hurt him once but i regret it so much .. i love him .. and now that i know what its like without him, i dont ever want to feel that way again. he means too much to me and i dont want to be with anyone else but him, and thats all there is to it .. okayy .. well im gonna go now so i hope you enjoyed reading my long entry even though you probably didnt read it all anyway. lataz xoxo

<3 ASHii #1

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i will make it up t0 y0u .. [17 Oct 2003|11:07am]
[ mood | depressed ]

what do you do when you make the biggest mistake of your life?
what do you do when you cant get it back?
what do you do when you feel completely alone in the world?
what do you do when you break someones heart?
what do you do when you want things back to the way they were?
what do you do when you realize that you were selfish and stupid?
what do you do when you wish you had listened to your friends?
what do you do when you try and ignore the hurt but its impossible?
what do you do when you know you hurt someone so much?
what do you do when you cant stop crying?
what do you do when everyone hates you?
what do you do when no one understands how youre feeling?
what do you do when you try and hide your emotions all the time?
what do you do when you want to die?
what do you do when you wish you could turn back time?
what do you do when you pretend that everything that happened was just a dream?
what do you do when you know everything is your fault?
what do you do when you know you dont deserve something good?
what do you do when you let go of something you love?
what do you do when youre scared of getting hurt so you hurt that person first?
what do you do when youre in love?
what do you do when you know that person cant be your friend?
what do you do when you listen to sad songs everyday?
what do you do when you cant eat anything because your so depressed?
what do you do when you cry yourself to sleep every night?
what do you do when all you want is for things to be right again?
what do you do when you know that you are a complete dumbass?
what do you do when everyone else knows youre a complete dumbass?
what do you do when you need that person back in order to LiVE?
what do you do when you dont have a reason to wake up in the morning?
what do you do when you put on a fake smile everyday?
what do you do when you think about the memories constantly?
what do you do when you imagine what could have been?
what do you do when you think about someone more than you think about yourself?
what do you do when you lose your first and last love?

what do you do when you dont know what to do?

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