Greg's Blurty

Two Great Trends
If you're one of the people who keeps telling me that there is a God, get up right now and scream, "Hallelujah, Jesus is alive!" because your imaginary nonexistent friend who lives in the sky and grants wishes has made you look a little less delusional today. By making some guy in Santa Fe shoot an unmanned speed-enforcement vehicle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDl2imgP7qo&feature=g-all-u).

Isn't that the greatest thing ever? Or at least the greatest thing you're going to see today? You'd think so and if this sort of thing continues and grows into a huge international trend, I am going to personally call the judge and tell him that maybe you don't have to be committed after-all but no, it's not the best thing you're going to see today.

The best thing you're going to see today you actually should have seen last night on The Big C (Season 3 Episode 4: Family Matters http://www.sho.com/sho/the-big-c/season/3/episode/4#/index) but if we started counting tardies against you, you'd be right back in that tiny rubber room faster than you can say, "But I'm not crazy!" and that would just frustrate God, so we'll pretend you're not late and talk about it as if you were responsible enough to ever do anything on time.

The best thing you're going to see today is the moment when Adam's girlfriend, after nearly killing him by proving that there is a God, really proved that there might in fact be a God by saying, “I just mean we can’t use the front door, but you can go in the other way.”

You'll remember that House Of Lies did the same thing when the gang went to Utah and Clyde nearly scored with a girl named Rebecca in the same way for the same reasons and he would have had he not chickened out. And Bill Maher, on his show, before either of those episodes aired, did a bit on the same theme that neatly illustrated just how well abstinence programs work.

And I just want to go on record that I support and encourage this fad, both in fiction and real life and I even think it's OK to say, out-loud, "Thank you, Jesus!" when it does happen. Even though there is no Jesus to thank, this is just one of those times when we shouldn't be splitting hairs like that.

So this is another trend that should grow and never die out and not just because I like it. It could also end the "I Had An Abortion," t-shirt controversy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf74l9Oc38g&feature=g-all-lik). Personally, I don't see anything wrong the shirts but I can also see John's point, when he says, "Just take the shirts off." And the only thing I would add is, "Take them off slowly and then put on your 'I Didn't Have An Abortion Because I Always Practice Safe Anal Intercourse.' But don't be in too big a rush to get the new shirt on because some people might find it offensive. So just ease them into it and everything will be fine."

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Morning Report With Mark & Steve, WOC AM 1420