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Sunday, April 8th, 2012

    Time Event
    8:21a
    It's Easter Sunday, You Bastards
    Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer. A Sigtuna Easter Ale (2012). It came to me, courtesy of the Pope, in a les oeufs de Pâques on the chimes returning from Rome. It needs more carbonation and fewer blackberry notes. All in all, it is a prime example of why you never hear the Germans talk about how Sweden is threatening to take over the beer industry.

    And why no one is ever going to accuse the Pope of knowing beans about beer. Which is weird, because he is German. He was born in Bavaria, for God's sake. Maybe this is just his small minded, feeble attempt at revenge, a Poisson d'Avril, if you will, on me for saying Christianity is just another wacko religious cult and wearing my There Is No God t-shirt every time I see him.

    Somehow, I expect more maturity from God's spokesman on Earth, especially one who has the audacity to make his motto, "Cooperating with the truth," but what are ya gonna do? I'm not going to let him ruin my Easter. I'm just going to chalk it up to another case of you can take the boy out of Marktl but you can't take the Marktl out of the boy and just get on with my holiday.

    Which is going to consist mostly of a fun new game I learned during a recent visit to Washington while attending a GOP fundraiser. I'm a bit limited as to what I can tell you about it so I'll just say it's kind of a traditional Easter Egg hunt with a very interesting conservative right wing family values first "We respect, honor and don't hate women, really we don't," kind of gynecological twist to it.

    If I weren't so conscientious about obeying the letter and spirit of all the various secrecy oaths I have to take all the time, I'd just say it's vaginal probing for Easter Eggs. And other interesting surprises. Say what you want about the Republicans but if Mitt and Newt were in charge of the Catholic Church, I would have gotten a good beer this morning instead of a substandard Swedish brew.

    But it would have been delivered by a Swedish hooker, so I guess, if you're feeling really generous, you can give Ben partial credit for sort of being in the same ballpark. In a highly distorted out of touch kind of way but where would we be without delusional conservatives like him?

    I guess the only thing left is to get to today's Theme Drink...No, wait. We have to say goodbye to Mike Wallace, too---while trying to not let our disappointment that he didn't stick around another lousy seven years and make it to 100 show---so, Goodbye, Mike and I expect your interview with God to answer everything we've been wondering about all these years...and now that that's out of the way, let's see what Fifi, my Sommelier, has cooked up for today:

    -------------

    Easter Bunny

    Ingredients:

    1 1/2 oz Dark Creme de Cacao
    1/2 oz Vodka
    1 tsp Chocolate syrup
    1 tsp Cherry brandy

    Mixing instructions:

    Shake creme de cacao and vodka with ice. Strain over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Float chocolate syrup and cherry brandy.

    -------------

    Hmmm. I think I'll stick with the Sigtuna Easter Ale but I will say that I am all for anything and everything that makes the les oeufs de Pâques easier to find and this looks like it will do the trick.

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: Christopher Jordan, WSAR Fall River, MA. April, 1974

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