Greg's Blurty

Unseasonably Warm
This is what the guys in the weather department (If we had a weather department. We have a guy named Ernie out at the Quad City International Airport who has a thermometer and that's good enough for us. Unlike the people who come to the Quad City International Airport expecting to be able to fly to fancy far off places like London and Paris and get really snooty when they find out our only international flight is a weekly trip to Lower Moose Knuckle...On Beautiful Lake Crabgrass..., Ontario in a DH-4 that only makes 16 stops between here and there. Why do city slickers always have to be like that?) would call a mild or unseasonably warm day.

Because it's 57 degrees right now and I think the average daytime high for January 5 is somewhere around 31. Oh, if you're from some backwards, primitive, strange, boring, uninteresting place that doesn't matter, such as Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, Australia, Canada...Except for Lower Moose Knuckle, Ontario on Beautiful Lake Crabgrass...or any other weird far away locale not serviced by the Quad City International Airport, allow me to translate: 57 degrees Fahrenheit is equivalent to 13.9 degrees Celsius.

And if you want to know what 31F is in Celsius, well it's easy to figure out. Just take the cube root of your secretary's bra size and multiply it by .8449 until the critical point on f(x) occurs at x0 if and only if either f '(x0) is zero or the derivative doesn't exist at x0 if and only if there exists some interval I containing x0 such that f(x0) <= f(x) for all x in I. Then carry the 2.

I'd do it for you but if I did all your homework you'd never learn anything. You'd end up just like those delinquents you hang out with all the time. Do you want that? I don't care if God Himself put you here to be a hoodlum, it'll happen only over my dead body!

Now that we have your career path settled and all the small talk about the weather out of the way, we can move onto the main topic. And this might be premature because far from all the evidence is in but you know me. I like to look at the bright gleaming outcome that can and should be rather than the disappointing nothing that will most likely happen.

It's called positive thinking and it's gotten me...well, here. Don't let that fool you, though. A lot of people put down the Quad Cities but that's just because they're jealous of our International Airport. Just ignore them and they'll go away. And then call the idiots down at The Quad City Convention And Visitors Bureau (http://www.visitquadcities.com/) and tell them I deserve a raise. Because no one promotes the Quad Cities like I do.

And now, can we get to the main topic? You remember, the one that may be premature? Yep, that's the one. And that would be, based on what's going on in Texas right now (http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/05/9978619-texas-police-receive-death-threats-after-shooting-teen) that America may finally be developing a backbone.

I've never seen anything like this before, outside of the court system. Ordinary people are rising up and saying, "I don't care if you have a gun and a badge, there are some things you can't do." This could have legs. It could get up and go somewhere and then everywhere and finally restore the government at all levels to a body that is by, of and for the people. It's too bad a kid had to die for it to happen but he could become a huge hero.

Or the whole thing might fizzle and go nowhere just like everything else. But I don't consider that because I think positive. OK, that's all I need for you tonight so get out of here and don't forget to call the morons at The Quad City Convention And Visitors Bureau. I need that raise.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Coast To Coast AM---George Noory, WOC AM 1420