Greg's Blurty

How My Sunday Night Was Ruined
Don't believe everything you read. I know that you've heard that before but now that you've heard it from me, it's official and you'll treat it as gospel and that's fine but remember that it doesn't mean that you should never believe anything you read.

Lots of times, you'll read things that are entirely true, like when you're here, for example. That's a no brainer, though, because I have no imagination. Every word I write is the truth because I have no other choice. Oh, if I did have an imagination, though, it would be totally different.

I would be making up all kinds of improbable, exciting and outlandish things to entertain you instead of boring you with what actually happens to me everyday. I am on the imagination transplant list, so keep your fingers crossed and maybe one day soon, this will all be changing.

Till then, though, we're just stuck with story after story about my hopelessly boring life. Like this one about not believing everything you read. Just believe the things you can trust, like my blog. But it' not that cut and dried, because there is another fuzzy, kind of gray area where you have to be really careful and that's what this one is really about.

Let me just start at the beginning because it'll be easier and the this one starts on Friday morning when I arrived home from New York. With a few guests. I know you're saying, "So what? That's no big deal. Why even bother writing about it?"

And you are absolutely right. And I wish you were Suzette. Because this ordinary no big deal thing perturbed her.

"Who are they?" She asked.

"The Rockettes!" I said. "Don't you recognize them?"

"What are they doing here?"

"I invited them to spend the weekend," I said. "It's going to be fun! Look, it was a long flight, so we're going to go take a shower, let us know when lunch is ready."

Then, for some reason, she became even more perturbed and at the time, I didn't know why but I think I have an idea now. I'll get into that later. Right now, let's back to Suzette's sour, uncalled for mood, which kept deteriorating throughout the weekend.

The Friday night party went OK. The Rockettes are a real crowd pleaser. And Saturday was OK...despite Suzette's still uncalled for and ever worsening mood and I thought that once Sunday came and the dancers were gone, everything would be OK.

So yesterday afternoon, Mercedes, my Chauffeur, took the Rockettes to the airport and everything should have been back to normal. But things weren't normal at all and they kept getting worse.

Right up until 7 o'clock last night, when I went to watch The Simpson's, which was going to be a very welcome break from her bad mood and worse attitude. But it wasn't to be, because when I turned on channel 7, it said that the channel would be available shortly...and I don't know how Mediacom defines "shortly," but it sure doesn't match my definition.

So, with nothing else to do, I talked to Suzette. That was a big mistake. Even though I had an agenda. A pure, selfless, Saintly agenda: To make her feel better and get off my back already about every little unimportant, unbothersome thing I do like leaving my socks on the floor and unexpectedly bringing home 214 beautiful chorus girls for the weekend.

This also illustrates another important lesson: No good deed goes unpunished. See, on Saturday, I had read this article in the paper about how to deal with rude people...and no one is ruder than her. It had lots of great tips and they are probably useful most of the time but don't make the same mistake I made. Don't assume that something you read is a one size fits all solution and that's what I mean when I say it's one of the fuzzy gray areas you need to be careful with.

The article said that rude people are usually rude because of something like an illness and that was obviously the case here and, thanks to the article, I knew how to deal with it: With understanding, charm and compassion which would work because I wasn't the cause of the rudeness (Duh! I didn't an article to tell me that). So I said, "It's OK. You probably have a headache. And some bloating, but it really doesn't make you look all that fat at all. I bet you're constipated, too and..."

That's when I realized that this wasn't quite the right approach to use. Well, it isn't with Suzette. It might be the right approach for you to use the next time someone is being rude with you for no reason at all but keep in mind that it might not work. And, even worse, it might cause you to miss not only The Simpsons but also that cool new vampire show on HBO AND THE SEASON PREMIERE OF CALIFORNICATION!

All because you you wanted to help someone get over her bad, rude, anti-social attitude that she has for no reason! And it still hasn't gone away! Just accept the fact that sometimes you need something a little more in depth than a newspaper article.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Sunday September 28th, 2008