Greg's Blurty

Wanna Make A Bet?
Are you in a gambling mood tonight? I hope you are because I really want to make this bet. But, it isn't just any old bet I want to make. This involves the end of the world and I need someone who has a lot of income and not a lot of I.Q. Basically, for the most part, I'm looking for someone who lives in Bettendorf. That's not hard and fast, though. If you have a large net worth and a small amount of gray matter, I really don't care where you live but demographically speaking, you are more likely to be from Bettendorf.

And the bet I want to make is this: I want to bet you ten million dollars that The Large Hadron Collider will NOT end up destroying the world. That means that you are betting on total destruction of the world. It's just that simple. Winner takes all ten million dollars.

To be totally honest with you, I don't know if this thing is going to destroy the world or not. But I do know that if you win, I won't be here to pay up and you won't be here to collect. But, if I win, we will both still be here and I could sure use an extra ten million dollars right now.

To be even more totally honest with you, I really wouldn't mind all that much if you win. The Universe doesn't need a planet that thinks mandatory seat belt laws are a good idea. We are nothing but a large puddle of toxic waste in the Universal gene pool.

Please note that I'm not supporting the slow killing of the planet, which is the way we are currently doing it. I already mentioned the seat belt laws and then there's war, racism, famine, terrorism, sexism, pollution, famine, red light cameras, American Idol and millions of other really slow cancers that we're using to destroy the whole planet but that's no good.

It'll take hundreds of years that way and subject generations of people to needless suffering and misery and if we're gonna be here for generations, we may as well change everything we're doing and start doing it right and be here forever.

On the other hand, if we continue to insist on doing things as wrong as we possibly can (And if you doubt that we are doing it wrong, you are part of the problem and should just go back to Bettendorf where you belong) and a bunch of physicists can end everything in a few months just by creating a black hole, God bless them.

Get it over with quick and maybe whatever the matter that is us transforms itself into will get it right next time.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Coast To Coast AM---Tuesday September 9th, 2008