Greg's Blurty

Fly The Friendly Skies!
Have you seen the latest scam perpetrated by the airline industry?

Need some comfy rest? It'll cost you on JetBlue
Low-cost carrier announces $7 charge for pillows and blankets

updated 1 hour, 37 minutes ago

NEW YORK - JetBlue Airways Corp. said Monday it is now charging customers for pillows and blankets.

The carrier has done away with the recycled blankets and pillows used on its flights, and has started offering an "eco-friendly" travel blanket and pillow that can be purchased for $7 on flights longer than two hours. The pair come in a kit with a $5 coupon to home furnishings retailer Bed Bath & Beyond.

The carrier claims the pillow and blanket feature a fabric technology, developed by CleanBrands LLC, that blocks pesky critters like dust mites, mold spores, pollen and pet dander.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26010559/

A lot of people are really upset about this and I can see why. Airlines are generating millions of dollars from these new fees and using the excuse of higher fuel prices but they are making far more than they are paying for gas and no one is happy. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are ways to for the airlines to make extra money and make frequent fliers like me happy at the same time.

And really, this is why I should be put in charge of an airline. I would solve all these problems in no time flat. Starting with this new pillow and blanket fee. I would throw in a stewardess of your choice for an hour and afterwards you get to keep the pillow and blanket. There, suddenly, that $7 fee doesn't seem so outrageous, does it?

You pay seven dollars, the airline makes seven dollars and everyone is happy about it. And what about the new fees for soft drinks and water? No problem. When you order a drink, you also get a tiny airline sized seltzer bottle and the stewardesses are wearing white t-shirts. Need I say more?

And what about the first and second bag fees? Scrap them and make up the difference by charging for food. You might think that $5 for a bag of peanuts is a little steep but when you see they are served on a naked girl the way the better sushi places do it, you'll agree that it's the biggest bargain in the air. You may even eat more than you ever have before.

Of course, the airlines will have to go back to hiring stewardesses by age and measurements like they used to in the old days but I don't see that being a problem. And I know that a lot of you are saying that I'm wasting my talents by merely running an airline. That I should be President or at least the Secretary Of State, because, after all, I could do for world peace what I did for air travel.

That's flattering but I have to respectfully decline. I'm not cut for politics. I'll just stick to sex, wet t-shirts and serving meals on naked girls at 40,000 feet and leave the hardcore kinkiness to the pros who are already in Congress.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Sunday August 3rd, 2008