Greg's Blurty

My Dull, Ordinary And Disappointing Afternoon
If there were an award for Most Dull, Ordinary And Disappointing Afternoon Of The Year, I would win it this year because I just had the most dull, ordinary and disappointing that anyone has ever had. This was the Gone With The Wind of dull ordinary and disappointing afternoons and it would probably sweep all the other dull, boring and disappointing awards, too.

Before I go on, let me say, least anyone get the wrong idea from what I'm about to say, that Rod Serling is not just one of my favorite writers of all time but one of my all time favorite people, too, and that hasn't changed a bit. So don't go quoting me out of context and giving everyone the wrong idea.

That having been said, let me move onto the next point which is this: All Gods have feet of clay and Rod is no exception. I don't mean his chronic workaholicsm, which he was. Whew. He was a one man Cheech And Chong when it came to abusing work.

A lot of people say that cigarettes killed Rod but I disagree. I say it was the the fourteen non filtered hours of work he ingested everyday for over thirty years. He'd still be alive today if he had only quit working. He didn't, though and now he's gone and is therefore only accessible in two ways. You can have your Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Other Worldly Affairs and Head Astrologer part the veil between the living and the dead and visit his ghost (Ghost isn't an entirely accurate term but it's close enough for this discussion) or you can get in your time machine and visit his living version anytime before June 28, 1975.

This afternoon, I chose the latter, because it's Miss Bunni's day off. I went to Hollywood in 1961. I haven't seen Rod in quite a while, so that was my primary reason for going but I had a secondary reason, too. I want to have a Twilight Zone on my resume and I haven't done it yet because I've never had a good enough story for it.

That has all changed this week because I had an awesome idea and wrote a fantastic story that is worthy of being a Twilight Zone. But it won't be. And this is where we get to the part about Rod having clay feet.

He looked at my story and said, "Greg, this fantastic. One of the best scripts I've ever read. At first I thought it was just another pedestrian piece of science fiction but then it exploded into being a masterpiece. It was nothing short of brilliant making Darth Luke's father and Leia turns out to be his sister...I don't know if I'll ever be this impressed ever again."

I signaled the waiter to bring a bottle of champagne and said, "So, you're you're going to use it? I know you're the boss and everything but if I get a vote, I think Annette Funicello should play Princess Leia."

He shook his head and said, "You know I can't use it."

Dumbfounded, I asked, "WHY???"

"You know I can't buy anything from a time traveler. I trust you completely but that doesn't change the fact that you might be trying to pull one over on me."

"I wouldn't do that," I protested. "And I wouldn't sell it to you...well, just union scale because we can't get around that but that's less than this lunch will cost."

"I understand," He answered, "But the answer is still no. And it's not without more regret than I've ever felt about anything because I would love to do this."

"But Rod," I argued, "That time traveler rule doesn't apply to me. Don't get me wrong, because I agree that it's a good rule but all rules are meant to be broken and this one should be broken right now!"

He finished his coffee, lit another cigarette and said, "Sorry. I can't do it."

And that was that. Oh, it wasn't the end of my visit. We talked a lot more but that was all of the tragically sad part. And the only thing that matters is that I don't get a Twilight Zone on my resume...Even though I tried with the best and most original idea I've ever had.

You know what they say, though. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. And you know what I say: THEY are idiots! I want my Twilight Zone!

And I'm not giving up. Next time, I'm going to use my completely new original story about a girl who is called the Chosen One because she was born to slay demons and how she screws everything up by falling in love with a vampire. He can't say no to that one.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Wednesday July 30th, 2008