Friday, July 25th, 2008

Time	Event
3:50p	I Have Electricity Again I want to start this one by thanking the fine people at MidAmerican Energy...Oh, wait...I have a better idea, since some of you may not know what has been going on here for the last few days...so I want to restart this one by saying my power was out from Monday morning till last night (Which was Thursday July 24, 2008 and I throw that in because a lot of you time travel back and forth all over the place and lose track of when it is you are and even more of you use this thing like a VCR for good old fashioned mono dimensional time shifting) at about 9PM. And the reason I'm thanking MidAmerican is because they waited till the last possible minute, after they had brought every other person in the Universe back online and just couldn't delay it any longer to restore my electricity. It was awesome but I good naturedly acknowledge that all good things, including living without electricity, must come to an end. It was great while it lasted, though. It was hot, steamy, and endlessly entertaining. With no distractions like air conditioning, radio, television, the Internets, alarm clocks, microwaves and refrigerators, you really learn to appreciate the better things in life. Things like stifling heat, no easily available food and drink and intense boredom. Imagine living on Gilligan's Island. It was just like that. It could have been even more just like Gilligan's Island if Suzette had been more cooperative. You aren't going to believe this but she refused to dress up like Mary Ann. And I'm not even going to tell you what she told me to do with the bananas when I ordered her to make banana cream pies. Having an insubordinate Chef De Cuisine and Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Domestic Bliss who is really nothing more than a punk juvenile delinquent with a bad attitude trapped in an adult's body was the only down side of the whole ordeal for me. I was lucky. If you want a sense of just how bad it was for a whole lot of people, take a look at this (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=154014284&blogID=417922155) and this, Katrina, The Miniature Version (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=56464291&blogID=417216390&Mytoken=975C0858-B66F-48B8-8829933B05CDC84D5463132). I had no power for almost four days and plenty of downed limbs in the yard but no injuries and no damage to my house or car. There is one other thing, though, that I had to go through. You know how a lot of people say that Coast To Coast AM, Sean Leary and Bill Wundram are more addictive than heroin and nicotine combined? Well, I proved that that isn't true at all. I gave them all up for three days and I was fine. There wasn't even the slightest hint of withdrawal. So I wrote up my paper and submitted it and you should be able to read it in the next issue of The New England Journal Of Medicine, but you can't. Because it didn't pass peer review. The real reason of course is that this is just all petty office politics that has nothing to do with science and those egghead idiots are jealous of my talents and they all work for the vast Right Wing that is conspiring against me all the time, anyway. The official BS bogus totally made up reason they gave is that since I still had my car radio and subscriptions to The Rock Island Argus (http://www.qconline.com/index.php) and The Quad City Times (http://www.qconline.com/index.php) (http://www.qctimes.com/), I wasn't really cut off from them at all and therefore can't make a conclusion about their addictive qualities. So, so much for science. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Thursday July 24th, 2008 (Comment on this)
5:58p	How's Barry? Last time, I mentioned how I was without power from Monday morning till last night and I'm mentioning it again here in this one just in case you're one those people who flit from post to post like a butterfly on beer and/or whatever else you kids are using to ruin your minds and bring this once grand country crashing down these days, with absolutely no regard for Truth, Justice, The American Way and chronological order. I hope you're not in that group but if you are...well, get a haircut and find a job, hippy! Ask not what I can do for you, ask what you can do for me! Follow the Yellow Brick Road (It's right next to Elm Street, you can't miss it)! Play it again, Sam! First, though, answer me this: How is Barry Manilow? I ask that not because I'm a fan of his, because I'm not, but just the same, I have nothing against him and just a couple of days before the lights went out, I saw a headline in the Washington Post about him being on the brink of death. Or maybe it was the New York Times. Or the L.A. Times. Or maybe The Wall Street Journal. It was one of those papers that Wal-Mart displays at the checkouts. And now that I have the Internets finally back, I can't find any info on him being ill. I hope that if he is indeed sick that he gets well soon but if the story about him dying is true, I want all you ladies who idolize him to know that I am here for you. And to fill the void that he will leave because Wayne and Neil can't do it all, you can start throwing your underwear at me. And, unlike with Barry, remember that you have a pretty good shot at getting into my dressing room after the show. It's a big sacrifice for me but I do it willingly. Because I care. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Thursday July 24th, 2008 (Comment on this)

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