Greg's Blurty

It's Friday, You Bastards
Let me just say this about that.

This wasn't my idea. I fought against it all the way. I used every last ounce of power, charm and influence that I have and proved yet again that it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. The Universe is against me and there's nothing I can do about it. Less than nothing, even.

So I'm stuck with this party tonight that was conceived and planned by my Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Political Studies, Elizate, and the theme is...get ready for a huge surprise here...POLITICS! And she got it through the Party Planning Committee through fear mongering, arm twisting, false promises and lying that would make Madison Avenue proud.

She said that since this is an election year we owe it to ourselves to spend an evening with the biggest giants the field has ever known. She then made some promises, like a chicken in every pot and that everyone who voted for it would instantly lose ten pounds.

Naturally, she won...even though I used my line item veto power and I don't understand why it never works...and then she sat down with Miss Bunni, my Head Astrologer and Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Other Worldly Affairs and hammered out a guest list.

She invited some big living politicians, too, but they all said no. Bill says it's too risky to come here till after the election (Some of my friends work for the National Enquirer and they make him nervous) and everyone else said they couldn't make it if he wasn't going to be here. But all the dead ones said yes...and don't get me wrong here, these are all fascinating people, even the despicable ones but they shouldn't all be at the same party at the same time.

Jack and Bobby, for instance are perfect anytime but especially with the Rat Pack. And Harry, FDR, Tricky Dicky, Washington, LBJ, Churchill, Reagen, Taft, Harding, Stalin....and on and on, there are tons of them showing up tonight...would all be OK on the right night with the right people but putting them all together all at once is a mistake.

And it's a burden on Security. Buffy says she loves the fact that she's going to lose ten pounds just for voting for this but she is upset because she can't tell the difference between demons, Republicans and ordinary low life party crashers...and just for the record, my friends are not low life party crashers, they are invited guests, no matter what Security says. Faith just wants to know if she can kill everyone who makes a pass at her because she's just in that kind of mood---I had to say no to that, because even if it were possible to kill someone who's already dead, we would lose too many Democrats, possibly including me, that way. And Olga, bless her heart, is just thrilled that she's finally going to meet Josef.

So this is going to be more a huge, long winded mistake than a party but I'm stuck with it. I am going to make the best of it...because that's just my positive nature. And I'm going do that mostly by having lots of these, the drink that Fifi, my Sommelier, invented for tonight to honor all politicians and their campaign promises:

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Fairytale

Ingredients:

* 6 cl Absolut Vodka
* 4 cl Chocolate syrup (light chocolate preferably)
* 2 cl crushed Strawberries
* 3 cl crushed Ice

Mixing instructions:

Just pour the vodka and the chocolate syrup together in a glass. Shake well. Then add the mixture of crushed ice and strawberries and voila'.

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So that's tonight's party, such as it is. I'm going to go now and see if Jack can spare a dancer or two. I think he's been monopolizing them for way too long.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Thursday July 17th, 2008