Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Time	Event
5:44a	Tranquilizer For Suliman, Please! Jesus has struck me down with Writer's Block. He's always doing things like that to me. Grasshoppers, floods, lightning, etc, etc, etc, it's like He has a bottomless bag of plagues with which to afflict me but Writer's Block is the worst and this time it lasted about four days or so. I don't really blame Him for doing it. If I were a supreme being with nothing but time and power on my hands, I'd get bored, too, and would do things like this. Still, it gets annoying and even more annoying than that is the fact that I have to wait till I die before I can get even with Him. A lot of you are now asking, "How can you get even with Jesus?" That's an understandable question but it really isn't necessary if you've done your homework. Because, if you had done your homework, you'd know that Jesus loves to play chess but He isn't very good at it. And that's perfect for me because I'm not very good either but I am good enough to beat Jesus. I think that's why He's making me live so long. I'm 44 now and that's longer any other human being has ever lived and it's all because Jesus is afraid to play chess with me. So who knows how much longer I'm going to be stuck here? And what am I going to do fill all that time? It's not an easy task but once in a while, I get something that will kill a few minutes. Like right now, for instance, I get to ask Suliman, "If you really believe in Jesus, why are you threatening to sue Coast over the actor that impersonated Him? Jesus is a God and He doesn't need you for a body guard. Why don't you instead pour all that time and energy into helping people? There are plenty of people that need food and water and comfort and countless other things and you could help. Maybe not a lot but you could make a difference to some. Or at least be entertaining. If actually doing something constructive is beyond your talents, then listen to JC and take notes. Then be funny." It's the least you could do. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Saturday June 14th, 2008 (Comment on this)
5:32p	Threesomes Aren't Just For Sex Anymore Why am I so popular all of a sudden? Over the last few days, I've had more than a thousand profile views on Myspace, which is up a little from the usual 10 a month that I get. Is it a side effect of the new face lift that Myspace is implementing and I'm not anymore popular than I ever was (And if that's not the case, why am I still only getting friend requests from dating sites)? Or have people finally noticed that this is the only place in the Multi-Verse where you can get blog posts such as this one, where I tell you all about how threesomes aren't just for sex anymore? But, if it's the latter, why did my blog hits go way down over the same period of time? Could that be explained by the fact that blogs were hard to get to over the weekend? Or was it swamp gas? Or flares? Anyway, there are a lot of good plausible explanations but no one good solid answer. Maybe the coming week will provide the answer. Either my hit counts will return to normal or continue at their accelerated pace...but will that really answer anything? I really love mysteries like this. Imagine how boring life would be if we weren't constantly being assaulted with unsolvable riddles like this. So let's put that on the shelf, along with Stonehenge, the Pyramids, Rubik's Cube and the ongoing popularity of shoe laces and move onto Threeway Chess. That's right, three people can now play chess at the same time: 3-Way Chess Sat, 03/01/2008 - 21:54 — me Recently I've come across this fascinating version of chess. I've had an opportunity to play it and lost. Apparently I need more practice, but the concept itself is beautiful! http://meignorant.com/3-way_chess That's right, the next time you're spending an intimate evening with two of your closest friends and you get tired of having sex and contemplating the bigger mysteries of life, like why my profile views on Myspace have sky rocketed , you now have a third option: CHESS! Of course, you'll probably opt for strip three way chess and that will ultimately lead you full circle, all the way back to sex but that, too, is just another one of the magical aspects of life that makes it worth living. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Art Bell: Somewhere in Time, Saturday June 14th, 2008 (Comment on this)

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