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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2008.04.15  12.30 but you don't really care for music do you?

	2008.04.13  22.53 cause baby, i'm an anarchist you're a spineless liberal we marched together together for the 8 hour day and held hands in the streets of seattle but when it came time to throw bricks through that starbucks window.. you left me all alone all alone

	2007.09.18  22.40 sigh It's kind of nice knowing that no one will ever read this. Confession: I dont know what I'm doing with me life. I'm sitting here listening to Meg and Dia Thinking about boys. Boys: Drew. Drew and I met at church camp and I fell for him right away. We held hands and kissed in the rain and talked about life and thought that no one could touch us cause we were happy and away from the rest of the world. Now, normally when you have a thing at camp, you both go your seperate ways in the end. But drew and I were different. We kept liking each other, from different states. We talked on the phone every night and smiled and laughed and prayed and talked about how we'd get married someday. What a joke. Later on I found out that nothing is ever as it seems. Apparently he was doing stuff with other girls the whole time. I gave him another chance and went to prom with him. He ditched me at prom and went home with another girl Three months later he dated my best friend. About a month ago he told me he loved me and a week after that he was back with my best friends. He's a jerk and I'm over it. He's screwed me over way to many times, and i want nothing to do with him ever again. John. I was somehow convinced that I was going to MARRY this guy. I don't know how I got to that point. Looking back, I was a completly different person when I dated John. I feel like our whole relationship was 100% fake because I had to pretend to be this perfect little christian girl, because I thought he was a perfect little christian guy. In the end I realized that he was really pretending the whole time too, to everyone. He's the same as me. He screws up and cusses when he's mad and he hurt me and then said he loves me and then hurt me again. And I hurt him too, I'll admit it, i was a jerk. But I knew the whole time that I wouldn't be with him forever, i just liked the thought so i held on to it. When i'm with John now I dont understand what I was doing back then. He honestly drives me crazy. Funny how things change. Kirk. No one in this entire world would ever have put kirk and I together. Ever. He's a hick. I'm from the city and listen to hardcore. He listens to Country, and Buck Cherry. What else is there to say? He was actually, a really good boyfriend. He held me when I needed to be held, He bought me flowers on valentines day, when i was sad, he stayed with me until I fell asleep, He held my hand, he hung out with my friends, he bought me stuff all the time, he listened to me when i needed him too, he let me yell when i needed to yell and he held me everytime i cried. What went wrong? I don't know. Things just got messed up. Funny how it happens, in one day everything is different and then all of a sudden he hates you. Who knew that would happen. I know he loved me though, He might even still love me, who knows? Jackson: I met jackson about two weeks ago. We've spent everyday together since then. We longboard together and watch movies together and walk together and cuddle and listen to music and make fun of each other and laugh together and beat each other up and then longboard some more. It's been a great two weeks and I know that he likes me a lot. I like him a lot too. He's really good to me. He tells me how cute I am all the time and tells me that i'm amazing that that I have rpetty eyes and that I'm the coolest girl he's ever met. We're together every single night and we havent gotten sick of each other and i always look forward to seeing him. He asked me out but I said that I didnt want to date anyone yet. The thing is, I know that if we date, we'll eventually break up. Cause that's how it always happens. So is there even a point? I don't think so. I really want to move in January. I just dont know where I want to move to. :(

	2007.09.16  21.04 When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too

	2007.09.16  20.59 I seriously have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

	2007.01.16  01.11 You were just a little girl in a flannel night gown. And you were shovelling snow from the walk in front of our house. And I was the snow, I was the snow. And everywhere it landed and everywhere it covered. You scoop me up with a big red shovel. You scoop me up.

	2006.05.15  08.36 I want to let my brother know He saved my life a thousand times Throughout the years he's been my friend Who's always there

	2006.04.28  15.09 ahh

	2006.04.28  15.00 Well I don't mind waiting 'til you're comfortable with me But what's it gonna take to prove that I'm for real? 'Cause you know how I feel about you You know I can't live without you I just wanna stay and make it real

	2006.04.20  19.24 zainab is my new favorite name ever

	2006.04.18  22.05 sp pretty muchhhhhhh someone should come visit me at this gay boarding school dorm

	2006.03.02  17.55 I've been sick for 347239 years. And I'm going back to Omaha. I feel like I have no actual friends anymore. & i keep hoping that this summer will bring us all back together. But I know it won't. I'm excited to be at home :]

	2006.01.10  15.51 "who are YOU?" said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly: "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."

	2005.08.11  18.30 So Tuesday night was one of the best nights I've ever had in my entire life. No joke. Ghosts, Isle, and TWU show at Nicoles house. The bands were awesome. Ghosts blew me away and so did isle. I saw a bunch of friends. Like 384732984 people came and we got over a hundred bucks for the bands which is amazing. After the show we cleaned up everything and talked in nicoles basement and keith beat me up with flipflops. Then a ton of us went over to Ihop for like an hour. or more. bad service but good food. I sat by David, Jack, Trisha and Danny. Cool kids. It was fun. Six was there too. uh. okay. After about a million hours, Sam and the guys from Ghosts and Isle came to Ihop (they all showered at sams). Anyways. Ihop was packed so we decided to go to DENNYS for them to eat, So all those guys, me, sam, kelsey, Danny, Justin, and Trish all went to Dennys and ate there. And I would like to say that I sat at the best table ever. Me, Sam, Wyatt, Jackson, and Monterro. Had one of the funniest dinners I've ever had. Those guys are so cool. me-"I forgot to tell keith that we got softer toilet paper" wyatt-"what?!" me-"yeah. he complained that we had hard tp, so i asked my grandma to get softer kind and she did and its colored and its so cool" wyatt-"dude, her toilet paper is colored" jackson-"colored? Like with colored crayons?" wyatt-"..that was the cutest thing you've ever said jackson" Anyways. all of our conversations at that table are priceless. I laughed so hard. Amazing. THEN we all left and went to my church (harvey oaks) and went in the back of it cause we all decided to camp out there. SO about six of us took about an hour to set up a tent. It was pretty tough stuff. once we did though it was about 3 and we all wanted to sleep. So we went in the tent and tried to sleep. But there were so many people outside that we couldnt stop laughing from what they were saying. Funny guys all of them. Anyways. I got out of bed and went outside and layed down next to dillon and we talked forever and hes amazing. and then everyone else got out of the tent and we all played duck duck goose at like 3 30 in the morning with ALL of us. I'm not really good at it. I got put in the "pot" by.. justin swanson I think. Danny wiser also got me. And a few other people. Man. Anyways. by then i couldnt sleep. So me, sam, kelsey, wyatt, and DILLON all went walking. And talking. And kelseys insane and made us laugh really really hard. kelsey-"yeah.. your kinda like bon jovi" wyatt-"how.. exactly am i ANYTHING like bon jovi kelsey?" haha. oh and. " wyatts tall he can see over everything?" crazy. People tried to sleep again. Me and Dillon didnt. We stayed up and talked more. We ended up staying up all night watched the stars and talking and listening to people talk. We talked until the sun came up, and even after. It was amazing. He's amazing. Then people woke up and I had to leave because I was forced to go to Worlds Of Fun even though I was sick. AND. to follow up the best night ever, was the worst day of my entire life. Enough said. oh and this is really really long but i never want to forget that night. so i needed to put it somewhere.

	2005.07.28  03.55 I took care of drunk people. Because I'm nice and I love them even when they're drunk and maybe they'll realize that I stayed with them while they threw up all over my house and maybe they wont want to get drunk anymore. Me and kristen are writing nice things about people. I love her.

	2005.07.20  15.32 I said I don't need you but I'm a liar I swear I do I do lalala. so. Me and David spent the whole day together yesterday. And he asked me out again. So now we're dating. Again. It's pretty sweet. Sam and Nick had a thing But now he's being a dick and I want to punch him in the face Bryan hates sam because of sam and nick but i love bryan and he's my favorite i miss mike swanson. dont even know why. going to boarding school next year.for sure. im excited. to get away from this town for four days a week. today im going to thrift world. davids pretty sweet. no one reads this but i dont want them too. i lost another pound. i dont get it. i ate four peices of pizza yesterday.

	2005.07.18  14.16 I lied and told sam i gained three pounds. When really I lost two pounds.

	2005.06.15  02.50 It's early in the morning and I'm tired and I'm bored and I want to fall in love

	2005.06.07  00.23 wow I'm the worst person in the world I really, really am It honestly seems like I don't care about ANYONES feelings Like I can just drop a guy and find a new one I'm the worst person in the world Matt HATES me now And he KNOWS I lied to him And He KNOWS I'm a makeout whore now And I need to STOP going after all these guys Because I'm hurting all the people I care about And I've lied to Matt twice now I lied to him about how many guys I've kissed And now I lied to him about making out with Ryan TWO DAYS after I broke up with him Two fucking days I'm the worst person in the entire world I swear, I just need a vacation I really need to get away from EVERYONE in Omaha Besides probably nick and keith I'm honestly thinknig about maybe just staying home for a week or so And not hanging out with anyone Cause im screwing everything up and im really mad at myself and everyone else and im in the worst mood and the ONLY person that has made me feel better is nick And I just need a hug -Alice

	2005.06.05  22.22 Word I think I'm gonna start writing in here And not tell anyone the link So I don't have to worry about what all my friends think of my life I'm the biggest makeout whore alive I swear And I fall in love with every guy that gives me the time of day And I always think theres a chance And whenever there is a chance, I find someone else to fall in love with Or I get scared and back off And when that perfect guy comes along I screw it up Even if he writes me a song Or plays me a song Or opens the doors for me Or kisses me in parks I always screw it up Maybe I should become a lesbian? yeah.. maybe. How does it feel to know you're everything I need The butterflies in my stomach They could bring me to my knees How does it feel to know you're everything I want I've got a hard time saying this So I'll sing it in a song

	2005.05.07  16.17 Hey guys guess what? It's the weekend, go on an adventure Or a picnic

	2005.04.30  17.16 I've been jumping over buildings, I've been sleeping in the street "Mr. Jones" will be right with you if you would just have a seat Well I'll meet you at the river where we both can clear our heads I think we would look great dead. I've got to find the princess, she's in another castle I'm dancing with the Capulet We're so "crazy in love" Juliet you know you want it! (Oh. <3333333333333 this song)

	2005.04.30  17.13 I've been jumping over buildings, I've been sleeping in the street "Mr. Jones" will be right with you if you would just have a seat Well I'll meet you at the river where we both can clear our heads I think we would look great dead. I've got to find the princess, she's in another castle I'm dancing with the Capulet We're so "crazy in love" Juliet you know you want it! (Oh. <3333333333333 this song)

	2005.04.14  20.16 I could be in a room with One Hundered boys. And you would be the only one On my mind.

	2005.04.13  12.55 FONT Any Minute I'm not with you I hope I'll see you soon There's just something that happens When you walk into the room And instantly I feel so complete It hits me right about the time you kiss my cheek And you give me this feeling Its like no other feeling But it knocks me off my feet Please dont ask me what I like about you Cause its every little thing you do And thats just the way you make me feel