| this weekend |
[20 Jul 2008|03:18pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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dance dance were falling apart to half time..
blowed! ...LOL. i didnt do anythingg :/ well ya i went to karlas parentss anniv. party but then my stupid fone broke right sooo of course like the two hrs it breaks for, i get allllll these txts liek HEY WERE GOING OVER HERE...HEY COME OVER!...ETC. im like wow dude ya that would happen to me cause my life sucks. LOL..grrr im was pretty upset but ehh wtever got over it. anyways i just woke up from a wierd dream i was in a pagent..or signing up for one. ?? i know. crazy. hmmm maybe i should sign up for one. well not any time soon right...but idk. anywayss im not going camping afterall...well no one is actually, it was like this huge debate in my house ysterdy..soo stupid i swear. apparently its all my fault soo ya. i do not kno to what i owe the great plesure of the blame but whateverrrrrr. lol it sukkkkks i wanted to go but :/ its cause well obvioualy i wasnt gonna go if freddy didnt go so my dad gets all mad at me like IT WAS UR IDEA BLAH BLAH...MAKE PLANS TO GO CUS UR GOING & i wasl ike ohhh ok! soo i guess im a P.O.W. now.. & then my moms like blah blah u were the one who wanted to go & i was like wtever u cant tell me what to do. & me freddy took off from my house& then i was gonna cal lthem n tell them that me & him would go in my car so if we got in trouble we'd both get in trouble they didnt have to worry bout it...but i didnt get a chance to so then my dad calls like 10 min after i left the house to tell me that they called my aunts & said we werent going so not to worry bout it. uggggggggh. :/ :sigh: whatever. im freaking annoyed just thinking bout itttt!! >:[ im annoyesd at everything lately...i think ima start PMSing soon...well i hope!..ugggh thats another story...GOD i do noooot kno what ill do if im preg. ...okk no im noottt! idk why im freaking out, seriously, i dont even think i can have kids..thats prolly more of my punishment. LOL causeee these last two yrs havent been enough!!! :sigh: LOL okk im sorry GOd that wasnt nice...but seriously im just kinda tired of things notttt going in my favor & when they do its allllways like when im sinning...sooo i mean idk...it just makes it THHHHHAT much harder to stay true to my faith...okk im bring negative huh? grr im sorry im just like..whats the word... fed up? its one of those days...but ill get over it.i need to. OK I WANT SCHOOL TO START ALREADY!! ...SERIOUSLY. things were going great when i was in schooo last month! u kno how they say ppl unemplyoed or like stay at home moms get depressed!??? its soooooooooooooooooo true! im like soo unproductive, i feel, worthless. i literally if i let myself could fall into a depression dude. itss so weird. my dads like YA ITS CAUSE U HAVE TO MUCH TIME ON UR HANDS, & im liek EXACTLY! i wanna like go to xschool & worry bout school shit & go to work & have fun [ my jobs are always fun] & have cash to go party & like jusst have a LIFE! lol..THIS SUMEMR HAS BEEN WAYYYYYYY TO LONG! lol...i wanted to take summer II but i didnt have any cash to do it. so yaa :/ oh well AUG 23 will be h ere soon enough! :] & i have an interview on mon.or tues. & i neeeeeeeed to get the job!! ohhh my gosh & ok i think ive figured it out!!! i was happier, or like i didnth have this big hole in my chest my soph yr or jr yr cause it wasnt all BOUT ME! ...i was volunterring like at least twice a week somewhere!!....u see!! it came to me like this week, i was like im tired of praying for me!! like wtf there are other ppl out there in the world adri!!!///im tired of like knowing & being concious of allll MY problems, i can squish em down but like NOOOOOT the way i can wen i have a busy lifestyle or when i realize that my probs are minimal, compared to others u kno? like ive been so selfish! soo ya ima start volunteering at my aunts hospital :] idk how i stopped volunteering? hmm i wonder where that stopped or when that happened? :/ anyways tho it made me feel good u kno, & i LOVE to volunteer, its so much fun!...its so weird how like u do something forever but then slowly u stop doing it & u completely forget bout it...thats weird rite? yaa so anyways im gonna get dressed & go have a picnic at the park! LOL :] haha...hey leave me alone im broke with no gas & im tiiiired of watching movies with freddy, dude i swear i thought i WAS A MOVIE BUFF..that guy literally defines COUCH POTATOE! hes like IM FINE HERE.. im liek I KNO U ARE IM HAVING A FREAKING ANXIETY ATTAK OVER HERE IN THIS STUPID HOUSE!! lol hes like OK LETS PLAY LIFE!! hahaha... like seriously ive NEVVVVER spent this much time at my house, like in maybe ...my WHOLE high school career! sseriously im nottt kidding. im NEEEEEEEVER home i was NEVER home like...damnn like NEVER lol...we were always out partying or like doing SOMETHING....but thats when i had money :/ & ive been broke since jun 3. cause i spent it all on my dads gift...so ya i cant believe ive lasted this long without money butttttt soon very soon my life will go bak to normal!! :D haha peaccccccccce.
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