| mothers dayy |
[12 May 2008|01:04am] |
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mood |
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ok so i ended up staying awake till 5 this morning && going with my dad to my gmas, all my aunts were there with my uncle too, and these guys cmae to sing or her like to wake her up out of bed. lol its super cute..she was all out of it. :] then we stayed there eating till like 7am & i was talking to all my family about everything going on...ok so apparently everyone in my family has gone thru what im going thru..so its like hereditary &&& i have the best family in the world. there so optimistic..i love em :] thats where i got it from for sure. its weird cause there sooo strong i like nevvver knew any of them had problems! .it was nice to know im not alone. lol..so the ni cmae home & finally fell asleep till like 1...i woke up really tired & still out of it but i got dressed & went to my aunts house for lunch. awww that was funn :] it took me a good 2 hours to wake up, lol i was like all zombie..lol then i was there having girl talk with my aunts & cousins :] then i came home & of course everyone knocked out for the afternoon nap :/ boo..no naps for me..i cleaned my undescribably hoooorifyingly dirty room. gorss for real...lol & then my car..& then my aunt called to go walk with her..our usual. well weve started running..sort of. lol but we tlak to much. aww she was telling me how her & my uncle met. ommmggosh. ok sooo basically all day ive been reminded & poked and probed for the story of whats his face. ...it kind of made me sad. ..its not a sad feelign i feel its more like i let myself down. liek failure. like i couldnt make the relationship last so im a failure. everyone in my family thats married or will be married all met as kids..seriously! 14-15 is the avg age & everyones still happily married. :] cute huh?...cept for me. i lost it. ..hmm anyways well my aunts not married anymore but its cause my uncle died two yrs ago fo cnacer :[ but htere story is sooooo romantic!! they eloped!!! :D haha...awww i want a love story like that. or liek my parents, they were best frineds in 7th grade but for my dad it was love at first sight :] & my mom was accidently missplaced in the wrong class and at the desk right in front of my dad. HOW WEIRD HUH? ...crazy..my story was cute..and fate-ish like..but oh well. lol anyways soooo after all that i drove her home & i put gas LOl cause calm dwn my car was about to stop! then i went to heb to buy my tea & then i came home played with tobbby and jammed out with my brother in THE SAUNA..lol ohhhhh guess what? i made a song :]..so hes gonna make the music for me & were gonna record & put it up. lol im excited. well he had made me a song a while back but i didnt to make the lyrics..but idk were trying to see if these one will go with it. CALM DWN I MADE UP THE CUTEST MOST OMGOSH QUOTE EVER IN MY SONG! ITS PROBABLY GONNA BE MADE INTO LIKE QUOTES ON PPLS MYSPACES..HAHA SERRIOUSLY!! ITS SOOO CUTE...I DONT MIND THO CAUSE IK NO I MADE IT UP & THATS ALL THAT MATTERS! :] anywass so the ni drank my tea & tried knocking out..i attempt to start at least 6 dreams, LOl but i kept sort of waking up but with my eyes still closed? i didnt wanna get frustrated so i got up about 30 min of trying & started reading this book ITS NOT ALL ABOUT ME my dad bought me allllllllllllllllllong time ago. idk why but i just found it. its good :[...but somehow whenver i read inspirational things it makes me a little ansty..rather than gives me peace. its like all too much or something..idk. anywass i stopped reading and decided to go agisnt the fact that the comp is a STIMULATING object & get online. lol. :]...anyways i shuld drift off soon. see u 2mrw...God willing.
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| this too shall pass |
[12 May 2008|11:20pm] |
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Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares. -1 Peter 5:7
...soo i went to bed at 5:30am in my parents room when my dad left..liek always. i cried last night i just couldnt take the frustration. im tryin to do it all right..and i cant catch a break. im trying to be happy but everythings making me sad. but im not a quitter. this too shall pass...:sigh: i just dont kno when. today was a good day..lots of annoying things happened but it was a good day. i went all over mcallen for my stupid tabc thing and whatever didnt get ANYWHERE..anyays then my landlord called me bout rent. :/ then my mina called said shed lend it to me..which im soo thanfkul for. then my aunt called & we went to go walk/run at 7. that was the best part of the day. :] it felt good. were picking up endurance..were going biking 2mrw! cant wait!..i wanna see my grams 2mrw too. imissher. then i came home and made my tea sat outside with my rents for a bit. relaxed..my dad elft to go walk and i lied down..i guess u can say i fell asleep for a little less than an hour, although its a really UNRESTED sleep..i always wake up like depressed tired bored..boo. so yah thats how i feel right now. im gonna try showering. ..i miss him. ill admitt it. idk why tho. i keep praying to show me the way with that part of my life and its like i an go all day without thinking bout him but sometimes it just hits me..latley its hit me kinda harder and more frequently..im not too sure what that means. im so lost. like with everything. it always makes me feel like crying..but i always hold it in....:sigh: idk. but im gonna get off.
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