| new new new* |
[16 Apr 2008|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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*she stays up late at night, flipping through the dictionary//trying to find a || word || that describes exactly how she feels*
FIRST OF ALL PLEASE IGNORE ALL ENTRIES BELOW THERE LIEK YEARS OLD! LOL..okay sooo im gonna try thins journal thing again since i think it worked for me way back when and it really helped with all my stress and latley ive been having anxiety & mild-moderate panic attacks over i have absolutley no idea what..but ive been googling and i have alot of the symptoms of anxiety like DP/DR ,PANIC ATTACKS, ,INSOMNIA [which has gottten sooo much better]..blah blah etc. whatever im gona get over it cause its annyoing me and affecting my personal life & okay I WILL NOT LET IT RUN ME, ...its all mind thing i know it. anuywasssssssssss ive been reading alot on how to slow down and stuff soo bascilly it said one thing was i need to keep a journal and record three positive things that happend thru out my day. sooo today i woke up like at 1 some and like 5 min later freddy called cause he had just woke up & i showered got dressed talked to lore & nini abourt how we all need to chill out and stop working so much and start doing funner things while were not married and babyless and young! then me & freddy decided to go shopping for my bday outfit. OK BIG MISTAKE IN TAKING HIM LOL..he was such a mute. each shirt or dress hes like I LIEK IT..ITS NICE...liek nooooo ok u need to be like specific...i should of just taken one of the girLs! LOL hes like "I LIEK IT!! WHAT ELSE DO U WANT ME TO SAY?! IM NOT A FASHION PERSON!" like duhhh but at least... idk...i dk why i even ask him hes a BOY. what do they know! LOL..soo then he convinces me into buying this black dress that I DID NOT WANT TO BUY cause one its black! i wanted somethign bright, i am having a FIESTA! lol..anyways after buying it, eating and debating whether i should take it back for like 2 hours i finally took it back and he said i had to try on dresses cause it was my bday and everyone else was gonna be wearing shirts soo i tried on like 10 more & he fell in love with a pink one soo i bought it. blah i hope the girls liek it, toots came over and saw it she said it was really cute sooo i guess im keeping it. now i need a tiara :] well i have ones from previous bdays but idk maybe ill buy a new one. so anywass after the outlets me & fredd ychilled at my apt for a while till church, then we went, omg it was sooooooooo GOOD, they started these new series, i loved it! i prayed really hard that God would speak to Freddys heart but half wy thru ia sked h8im if he understood it and he said no..so i had to explain it to him. either hes like ADD or he has a low iq or both cause hesss retarded ! LOL..im not discouraged tho..ive been thinking bout buying him a begginers bible cause he knows like prettty mch nothing bout church even tho hes supposedly CATHOLIC...liek okay no ur not, LOL ichanged his religion ;] naaa im kidding if he wants to be cathlic then whatever u know its all bout how God speaks to him he just doesnt mind switching religions cause he never really went to church so u know its not a big deal to him. anywassssss after church i dropped him off and came home, showed my dress to my mom who said she didnt liek it cause i looked cheap and she wants me to look presentable, i was like OK MOM IM TURNING 19 AT MY PARTY NOT 27 GOING TO A CHURCH RALLY! ...ugh whtever then i went to heb with her...shes all getting in the line wth 10 items or less and literally she has 20! i had to liek apologize to the girl! lol...anyways thatsss been , my day. so far, im tired but not sleepy sleepy sooo i dunno. ima get off for now.
three positive things:
me & freddy laughed alll day
ive lost 7 more pounds :]
church was amazing
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