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[02 Sep 2003|10:21am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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cky - attached at the hip |
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'I miss you' were the words I heard lastnight on the phone. Before I talked he continued on saying, 'I want you back. I'm sorry for what I did.' Yeah I gave Dan a chance to talk. I was getting tired of thinking that I had about 20 messages from him. And well all I had to do is to listen to him and he stopped calling me. No, I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him. I lost all the trust I had for him. And I don't know him. He finally understood and we kept it like that. Now he can go run along with his little girlfriend and I can go and um...do my thing. In other news, I'm going to the doctors today!! *sighs* I'm really nervous about it and well yeah I'm just dieing right now. Don't ask why I'm going cause I won't say anything. *sighs* Well anyway it's my time to go if I don't come back soon then it's cause I'm in trouble.
-Erin
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[31 Aug 2003|08:33pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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sum 41 - hell song |
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Is it right for me to say that I'm single when I'm really not?
Yeah I kinda said I was single to this guy who was hitting on me today on the street. Why do I always tend to get hit on when I'm just minding my own business? I mean...look at the relationship I'm in. If you think about it I technically don't have a boyfriend. He isn't around to comfort me when I need him or when I need a shoulder to cry on. He's not around to be my best friend. He doesn't do what a boyfriend should be doing. Are we in two separate worlds and we just don't know it? What happened? *sighs*
I keep getting calls from Dan. HE DOESN'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND! I don't want to talk to him. I probably never will talk to him. He's just a really weird person and he's just...whatever. I talked to Michelle yesterday and she's been telling me about her and Erik. I can tell she really likes him but I guess she wasn't really the girl he was looking for. I just hope he just doesn't stress it too much. I hope he at least has fun in Cancun with me. *sighs* Well I'm gonna go and check 3 other messages Dan left me.
-Erin
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[30 Aug 2003|09:20pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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So yes yesterday I was talking to Erik and I fooled him by saying that it would be cool if I would have visited him which I was and am in NY already. I came yesterday and I told him yesterday and he was surprised. heh heh. Yeah. I just thought it would be nice to see one of my best friends and just hang out and talk like me and him used to do. So I'm planning to just stick around for a while and then just go back home trying to ignore Dan......which hopefully it will work. But, anyway I'm gonna go.
-erin
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[29 Aug 2003|08:00pm] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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*sighs* Damn it. I was forced to hang out with Dan and that bitch his girlfriend. They were all "Awe I love you hon..." *growls* I couldn't get on the computer cause the whole week Dan was up my ass. And then I had the time to talk to just him. And I told him that I don't want to act like nothing happened between us. After what he said and done I just can't get over it that quick and act like noting happened. I mean we were engaged for christ sake! It was just...*sighs* hurtful to see that. So I ended this whole friendship thing today. I told him I don't want to have anything to do with him or his girlfriend. I don't want to be next to him around him...I don't want him in my sight. I told him that right now is not a good time for me and him to talk. And I told him, "I don't wanna see your face and hear your voice. I don't want to talk to you. So don't call me or be friendly with me...because I don't need that bullshit from you." So I ended it like that. I'm not gonna talk to him for a few months or maybe never. And I still need to talk to Jake....I haven't been around thanks to Dan...*sighs* I'm gonna go.
-erin-
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| Home sweet home |
[24 Aug 2003|03:52pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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music |
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blind slide - sleepwalking |
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( OOC note )
Eh...I'm back home. Thats great. My plan on leaving to Hawaii to get away from Dan didn't work. When I came back home I saw the damn bastard. *growls* And the bitch brought HER. *Sighs* But yes. I hate it now. I'm a bit relaxed and well...I'm gonna say one more thing before I write what I did the whole time in Hawaii. Jakey poo...we need to talk ;)
Thursday-
I got there and it was so cool. When I got off, it was just like I thought it would be. People waiting and greeting you with those flower neckleces. *giggles* It was so cool. I went to my hotel and *dies* beautiful room I got. It was like a house. And I had the ocean view on the balcony. It was perfect. The weather was a bit sucky. It was raining from time to time. So I couldn't go out to the beach. The only people who went out to the beach were the sufers and yes I checked them out from my room. So I really didn't have anything to do cause the weather was bad but go to the spa...but before that I found this cafe around the corner got coffee and went on the computer. Talked to Erik and waited until my time to go to the spa. Which was great and met those girls I hung out with Friday and Saturday. Later on that night I went to get a drink and yeah I met that creepy guy who started to follow me after I rejected him. But then got him to run away when I was with the cop heh heh.
Friday-
I went to the beach and got a tan. The beach was so nice and peaceful. No annoying people bitching to me or anything. I saw the girls again. Got invited to the club. But before that I stayed at the beach for somewhat hours and checked out people surfing. It was really cool. I wanted to try it out. I was gonna ask the girl who I was talking to teach me. But yeah I'm too scared. Then I went to the pool and stayed there for a few minutes and went back to my room. Got some room service and watched TV. After that I went out with the girls and went to the club. I had a lot of fun. I got to my hotel room around 3:00 a.m....? Yeah. But I had a blast.
Saturday-
Went out to breakfast with the girls. Talked and joked around. We felt a little stressed and tired from the night before so one of the girls suggested for us to go to the spa. So we were llike, "What the hell...whatever lets go." We went. And I got one of the best massages ever! Then after that, we were all bored and we wanted to do something out of the ordinary and so went drove up to the water falls and did the cliff diving thingy. I did it twice. heh heh. But the water was so damn cold. After that we all went back to our rooms rested a little then got ready again and dressed up for dinner. We stayed at the place for 3 hours just talking and laughing and ordering drinks. *nods* A table full of four guys bought us drinks It was great.
Today-
I had an early breakfast with the girls. After that we exchanged numbers and said good-bye and they left before me. And after I had said good-bye to the girls I went up to my room packed everything up checked out, and went to the airport. Nothing too special. So yeah. It was a good vacation. And I came tanned! So yeah. This was a great treat for me. K I'm a bit tired. So yeah...I'm gonna take a nap...for once.
-erin-
*clicks update and gets some rest*
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[23 Aug 2003|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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MTV |
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Damn I did too much lastnight and today. *nods* I went out clubbing last night with some girls I met at the spa. Well when I was at the spa I was just like, "Oh hi...hi...yada yada...K BYE!!" And that was it. But then when I was at the beach we bumped into each other again. They told me they were going clubbing so they asked me to join so I said to myself, "Pff...go and have fun." So yeah after I talked to Erik I went and joined them. We had a lot fun. It was fun. One of the girls hooked up with this guy. God damn he was hot *drools* Then today we went out for breakfast together and then went to the spa again And yeah then we went to the beach. After that we went to these waterfalls...I forgot what they were called but we went there and dived off the cliffs and what not. *dies* I'm never gonna do that EVER. But to tell you the truth it felt good. Cause I was stressed and once I dived off I felt relaxed and I felt like I had nothing to worry about. And I didn't have this heavy stress on top of me. It was fun. And later on tonight I'm gonna go out for dinner with the same girls. So yeah. I'm having a great time.
-erin-
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[22 Aug 2003|11:41am] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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TV |
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You know what's so funny? That even though I'm on vacation and I'm here in a beautiful room with a nice sight of the beach and I'm at this really nice island...I'm not satisfied...:-/ I went to the spa yesterday and yes thats what I needed. The spa that's all. Then yes I'm sorry to say, but I went out for a couple of drinks and I was just sitting there and some guy comes up to me and tries to hook up with me and I look at him and he's just drunk as hell. I said to him, "Sorry but yeah...you're drunk and just...yeah. Don't try anything on me." And I left and then while I'm going to my hotel I see the bastard following me. What the fuck? Then I went by a cop that was standing around the area and the guy left. heh heh But yeah. I'm gonna go to the beach get a tan and check out some guys. I'm thinking about leaving Hawaii early...maybe like Sunday afternoon....? *shrugs* I'll see cause yeah I'm just feeling too lonely here. Everywhere I turn I see freaking couples and I hate it *dies* .......K I'm off to the beach.
-Erin-
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[21 Aug 2003|11:02am] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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people talking |
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So yeah my flights a bit late so I'd thought to get on one of these little computer thingys that they have here in the airport. You pay and stuff. heh heh...I was talking to Erik yesterday and yeah. Just like always it was cool. Erik, Jacob does not need to shave...I like him the way he looks. heh heh. But Yeah I'm gonna make this update short cause my flights here and yeah I'll be back Monday night. I'll try updating over in Hawaii if I can...
-erin
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[20 Aug 2003|07:30pm] |
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mood |
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ditzy |
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music |
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sum 41 - thanks for nothing |
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I couldn't help it. I just had to show something. And he just looks so cute! And I love him...and he's just so hot! *giggles*
( loookkkyyy )
Okay I'm done.
-Erin
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[20 Aug 2003|11:58am] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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*looks around* Whoop! I'm done packing and I'm ready. My flight leaves tomorrow morning at 11:00. I'm not sure if I will have a chance to update. But if I can I will :) After I come back I'll have my little trip with Erik!! :) Sweet Erik postponed his trip home to wait for me awee...heh. Anyway...I'm gonna go now...Oh...Erik have fun at the spa!
-Erin
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| It's official |
[19 Aug 2003|07:01pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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CKY - 96 quite bitter beings |
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I'm going to go far far far away from here. I'll be leaving for my own little vacation Thursday morning and coming back Monday night. Yeah just a few days. I just thought it would be nice for me just to get away from everything and forget about everything and not think or care about anyone or anything while I'm in Hawaii sitting in my little nice hotel room. I just planned it today and yeah. I think I'll be okay when I come back. I'll know what I want and I'll know what I need to straighten out and what not. I hope after this little trip of mine I'll be okay and I'll be less stressed about things. I hope I get a tan too. hehe but yeah. WHOOP I can't wait!
-Erin
*sighs, clicks update, and confirms her trip*
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| Oh, just please fuck off.... |
[19 Aug 2003|11:50am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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matchbox 20 - unwell |
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Yesterday we went out for drinks. Yada yada...had fun whatever. Went to a strip club. I was bored as hell. Literally I wanted to kill myself. I've been pissed the whole time here. I've been thinking to just move far far away from here. It's just not the same. I fucking hate people right now. I hate every single person I talk to. Except for the people I trust Jacob, Erik, my mom, and thats about it. Everyone else go fuck yourself. I just can't trust anyone who has been there as a "best friend" anymore. They've been all just bitching. Damn it Janie...if you don't trust me anymore just say it. We don't have to be best friends. Or friends....*gasps* GUESS WHO I TALKED TO YESTERDAY! *tries to sound happy* DAN! eeek...it is SO nice to FINALLY hear for him. Not really. He said SORRY...Pff...too late now. Shit. He said something about him coming down here before he goes to Erik's home to see me. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU....EVER!! My life is already fucked up I don't need it to be MORE fucked up. I wanna start my life from scratch....you know...get a new life. A better one. *nods* Thats What I'm gonna do. And if I don't talk to you...don't feel bad. Now you know how I feel half of the time. *sighs* This is when I go and call Sean.
-erin
*clicks update, says meaningful things under her breath, and calls Sean*
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[18 Aug 2003|06:38pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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o-town - craving |
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Yeah I'm home. Everyones glad to see me home and all. I'm not. I'm just...whatever. I'm not feeling all that happy about being here....I mean yeah it's home but it's just not welcoming or anything. I saw Dan's brother Adam earlier today and we just talked and what not. I don't think he knows about me and Dan but whatever.
( I'm a little unwell )
Yeah I'm going out with a few friends. I'll update sometime later on tonight or tomorrow. Whenever I feel like it.
-Erin
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| Yeah... |
[17 Aug 2003|05:48pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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Yeah Jake and Ash...I was supposed to leave home tomorrow night but...I decided to go home early. I just...yeah. Ashley I love you and I hope your acting thing goes good for you. Jake...I love you more than anything. You know if you need me around call me and I'll try to come to you. I hope you're still down for that vacation we were planning. *laughs* So yeah...bye and I hope to see you guys around.
*wipes her tears off and leaves the house*
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[17 Aug 2003|11:10am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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tv |
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*rubs her eyes, gets on blurty, and starts to type* So the show last night was awesome. As always. Eh...Trevor got a bit emo at the end and so did some of the guys. It was a great show to end it for now. *nods* So everyones getting ready to leave and go home. My flights tomorrow night. *sighs* Erik's taking Dan with him and Trevor's going to L.A. Ashley is going to Hollywood to work on his acting. And Jacob of course he's going to his family. As for little miss Erin, I get to go back home. So we get to go back to our normal lives *shrugs* It's gonna be weird. I need to get my things straightened before I forget...until later...
-erin
*clicks update and starts packing a few things*
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[16 Aug 2003|11:46am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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*rubs her eyes* yeah Hi........bye *giggles*
p.s. I'm happy today don't bring me down
-erin
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[15 Aug 2003|01:41pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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sum 41 - thanks for nothing |
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*looks around the house* Oh where...oh where...can my boyfriend be?
Yeah I'm back at the house and yeah. I haven't gotten the chance to talk to anyone here cause they're all busy cause of tomorrow...they're rehearsing and stuff *nods* :'( the time has come. But I get to go home...:-/ I'm not really happy about going home...*shrugs* eh...*sighs* I think the guys and I should go clubbing tonight since tomorrow is the last show. *nods* That'd be cool...wouldn't it? Oh but....I'm not drinking *shakes her head* And if I do...yell at me and take the drink away.
EDIT:We in FL yo! *shakes her head* remind me not to say that EVER...and yeah I don't know WHY I said it. I think I'm hanging out with Erik too much *laughs* or is it Trevor...?*scratches her head and shrugs*
-Erin
*giggles and looks for Jacob*
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[14 Aug 2003|10:45am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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incubus - drive |
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I was supposed to be leaving lastnight to go back to the house but Jessica will be leaving tomorrow morning to Atlanta because she her sister needs her down there. So I stayed and hung out for the last time. So today afternoon I'll be going to the house again. *yawns* I don't know if Erik will be O.K. with the idea of me coming. I think he is a bit mad at me still. *shrugs* I'll try talking to him when I get to the house. Jake you better be around. *pouts* Anyway I'll see everyone at the o-town house again today.
-Erin
*clicks update and joins Jessica to eat some breakfast*
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[13 Aug 2003|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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*sighs* Okay...Me and Janie...are good. We made up. *smiles* I'm going back to the house...cause I just...I can't be away from Jake too long and well yeah I miss him already. *Smiles* I love you Jake.
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[13 Aug 2003|11:14am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Jess's cat purring |
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*wakes up on her friends couch, sighs, stretches her hand to the table next to her, gets her cell phone and dials Jacob's number*
( Voicemail for Jacob )
( Voicemail for Janie )
Trouble In Paradise
Wow.... I don't know what to say after last night. All I can say is that it was all my fault. I should take the fault. I haven't really...been myself lately and I've been just stressed. What I said to Janie was just out of anger and I'm really truly sorry. But I know Janie won't forgive me. I mean pff...I wouldn't blame her. I wouldn't forgive myself either. *sighs* Right now I think I should be away from the guys. I don't think they need this stress especially since their last show is Saturday. So I thought getting my things out today and staying here at Jessica's would be the only good thing for the guys and for me. I've been having problems in the house lately and I just think it's all because of jealousy. *nods* Yeah....theres the truth....jealousy took over me. That's why I've been a bit of a bitch to Janie and I have had problems with her. Janie if you wanna know something that is the truth here it is, I don’t like you. I don’t like this NEW Janie you built upon the old Janie. You seem like a totally different person. I don’t trust the new Janie. That’s the problem. And that’s who I’m having a problem with…the new Janie. I would think staying with the guys would be nothing but an awesome vacation but it turn out to be one of the worse vacations I've ever had. Just too much hurt going around. I'm always ending up crying because of a few things. I really don't want to get into that right now. *sighs* So yeah...I guess I won't be around long....
-Erin
*clicks update, sighs, pets Jessica's cat, and lays back down*
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