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Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
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6:26p
Why can't you ever have normal friends? You only seem to attract screwed up people and those few people who aren't in foster care, on meds, do drugs, seeing a psychiatrist and so on, you seem to drop them so fast like emily...she was such a nice girl what happened? Like, shit it's like a decent person comes along and you go running for the hills
Incase you forgot if you think those people are like severly fucked up or something then i guess i am too because i've been on meds, ive been to 2 different psychiatrists, 3 social workers, and plenty of visits to the emergency room as well as being hospitalized and you know just as well as i do that it did nothing and i don't know why you think Emily is all that either because you don't know half of the shit that goes on inbetween the walls she was so boring my idea of fun is not sitting around in a fucking basement and watching tv or talking about guys all the time, thanks.
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6:43p
Okay, i think this weekend i'm gunna go by Ardenés or Culture Craze and buy some new bigger plugs at an 8g now ;D i know i'm skipping 10g but i think it'll be fine and if it hurts too much i'll put in another 14g barbell in for a about a week before putting in the 8 and that should do it
then go by WalMart and get some pictures printed if it's not totally packed, and go visit my aunt.
Havn't gone to first or fourth period for 2 weeks now and yesterday the school called about 74382749237 times from 12 until 3 but they didn't leave any message. They expect my mom to be home because she didn't give them her work number because she doesn't want to be bothered there and everytime i go into the office and they decide to call her they always ask why shes not home and where she is even if she didn't work that doesn't mean she'd be home all the time either. I suspect it's my math teacher.
And i swear to god i'm hearing things these days.
Words, hissing, breathing.
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10:09p
Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover
Singing softly as you fall asleep
You wake up in the morning and it's still there
Adding up the things you'll never be
Time can take it's toll on the best of us
Look at you you're growing old so young
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11:27p
How do i tell you? I want to
i really do
but i feel like no one ever believes me
so i just stopped repeating myself
It's been six years going on seven
I'm scared that this will tear me apart even more
things are escalating
I've started cutting again more frequently a while ago and i'm thinking
i'm thinking
what if this just starts all over again
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