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Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
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11:26p
swallow my words
taste my thoughts
and if it's too nasty, spit it back at me.
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11:56p
I feel like cutting, the access to it is so easy here
i feel like purging, i feel so imperfect and disgusted these days
i feel so crushed because i've realized i probably won't find anyone else will look at the clouds or watch the rain the same way i do
I feel like giving up, i've stopped believing
that's why i think i can't achieve things anymore because i just
expect
wait
to fail.
I wanna fly her away where the sun and rain come in over my face, wash away all the shame.
My teacher emailed me today and i almost about had a heartattack when i saw her name pop-up. I didn't go to class today and she wanted to know what happened and if i was okay i didn't respond to it though. One of the other girls told me that she's worried about me because i don't talk much and i know i don't but i just don't care to and since she's seen my arm she's been "nicer" to me and i get the feeling i'll be pulled aside tomorrow as to how things are going and such
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