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( ) die, die, die my darling.. don't utter a single word. [15 Mar 2007|06:05pm] he broke up with me.. because i live a few hours away. yet his ex lives on the other side of the country. and he's getting with her. my lifes fucked up.

( ) [01 Oct 2006|10:48pm] stfu

( ) [30 Sep 2006|02:53pm] peanut butter fantasies... MMMM.

(1 overdoses | ) [17 Sep 2006|02:29am] lalala

( ) [16 Sep 2006|10:19pm] KAYNE GOT KICKED OFF PROJECT RUNWAY. WHAT A DISASTER!!!! D:

( ) [10 Sep 2006|04:08pm] it makes you blind, it does you in it makes you think you're pretty tough it makes you prone to crime & sin it makes you say things off the cuff it's very small and made of glass and grossly over-advertised it turns a genius into an ass and makes a fool think he is wise it could make you regret your birth or turn cartwheels in your best suit it costs a lot more than it's worth and yet there is no substitute they keep it on a higher shelf the older and more pure it grows you just get out what they put in and they never put in enough love is like a bottle of gin but a bottle of gin is not like love

( ) you know you're from central new jersey when... you suck [10 Sep 2006|05:50am] 1. Your town is full of garage sale signs 2. There are more Italians immigrating in than New York in the 1920’s 3. You will take any road, ANY road, other than route 9 4. You skip school to go to the beach 5. The field you grew up playing in is now under development 6. You can’t believe other states don’t have full service at the gas stations 7. The corn from down the street can’t be beat 8. You spend more time at the Freehold mall than you do at home 9. You can’t stand Colts Neck, spoiled losers 10. There are more Jews here than Jerusalem 5 years before Christ 11. People from other areas say you say ‘water’ weird and you don’t understand why 12. No matter where other people are from, if they aren’t from California, Florida, New York, or Jersey, they are a hick 13. Pennsylvania is another world 14. You think there’s no better shore than the Jersey shore 15. The summers are always great 16. You know that Jersey Freeze is the best place for ice cream 17. Everyone makes fun of how your state smells, yet all your trash goes to their state cough cough PA cough cough 18. Just after they are finished building a school, another one is in the works, or there are trailers erected for the dumb kids 19. You are sick of seeing Italian flag reflectors on cars 20. You remember Q104.3 and you know K-ROCK turned more commercial than MTV 21. The ‘Goonies’ touches home to your childhood 22. You are on the front line of the war with the Mets and Yankees, Jets and Giants, and Rangers and Devils 23. Every driveway has a basketball net 24. Every other house has a pool 25. You recognize places from the Sopranos show 26. You remember when 9 and 33 by the mall used to be a circle 27. You know what U-turns/jug handles are 28. Cops have nothing better to do then sit in speed traps all day 29. You see five cops on your way to the convenience store 30. You remember the riots of the Freehold Mall 31. You remember that asshole that killed a kid and gave the Smashing Pumpkins a bad name 32. Wawa is your home away from home 33. You worked for a telemarketer 34. When you go to the shore, you need to buy salt water taffy and fudge 35. You stay away from Asbury Park unless you are going to the Stone Pony 36. You stay far, far away from Ocean Grove 37. You drive around looking for ghosts 38. You know what I’m talking about when I say ‘Devils Door’ 39. You’ve driven to gravity hill 40. Your area code keeps changing 41. You are tired of seeing Stumpy’s Yamaha commercials 42. You STILL can’t understand what the guy from the Tire Farm commercials is saying 43. You wonder when route 33 is going to be done 44. Your local police department is a joke 45. You’ve never gone to a New Jersey Nets game 46. You know how pathetic the Lakewood Blue Claws are 47. You know what handball is 48. You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually the Bronx) or Texas 49. You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags." 50. You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "NEW" to identify it (like ...Mexico, ...York,...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it)? 51. You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City." 52. You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different."

( ) [10 Sep 2006|05:02am] i want to know what it's like to live on the greener side of the grass..

( ) die, die, die my darling. don't utter a single word. [10 Sep 2006|04:49am] [ mood | destroyed ] [ music | misfits (anything in general) ] i'm going to make it simple enough to understand everything. call me whatever you want, do whatever you want, kait doesn't give 34980354903453409534905 shits anymore. kait officially sucks at life. officially. time changes, yeah, well fucking kiss my ass. all the shit i take, breaks me. next time the worlds on my shoulders, i blow it up. which way do i go? which road do i take? i try to do the best i possibly can.. but every step i take is another mistake. what is it that i'm running from? is there more to come? i'm sick of everything. my friends. my family. people, in general. america. new jersey. i want to get out of here. and i can't fucking wait. because when i leave, i'm going far, far away. somewhere where i can possibly start a new life. i'm sick of living here. sick of the people here. sick of everything. it's driving me to the point where i can't breath anymore. my skin's breaking away. my body is shaking. i'm going to have a nervous breakdown. it watches everything. i try to do the best a can.. but what i do isn't good enough. i need a time out from life. just let me see what it's like to be gone. dead. alone. away. for at least a weak. have the sun go down. have the light betray me. you betrayed me. have the whole world betray me. ....just go. i'm never good enough. never. i give up. no, not at life. i'm not an emo cunt. i just give up, in general. give up doing shit. give up trying to do my best. give up being there.. being here. give up.. i will make it go away. can't be here nomore. these feelings will be gone. someone throw another nightmare at my face.

( ) beating me down, down, into the ground.. [19 Aug 2006|11:36pm] [ mood | envious ] [ music | Lacuna Coil - Heaven's a Lie ] i hope your happy. does hitting me make you feel better? good. you're worse than dad, at least he never hit me. i fucking hate you.

( ) [19 Aug 2006|01:53am] [ mood | stressed ] i can't trust shit from my ass anymore.

( ) [06 Aug 2006|02:41am] [ mood | busy ] Ozzfest was intense, I'll find a way to explain what happened..

(2 overdoses | ) [29 Jul 2006|10:15pm] [ mood | crappy ] I've been having a bad day. Both, yesterday and today. Well, yesterday night... eh, whatever. Who cares, right?

( ) New Jersey. :D [28 Jul 2006|02:10pm] [ mood | awake ] I understand that tomorrow means a couple days. A ''HOT MINUTE" means a long time When I ask for a regular coffee, it automatically comes with milk and sugar There's more strip clubs than gas stations We dont jog in the park, we smoke there (Can someone say Washington Square park) I sure as hell don't pump my own gas. You always know were the weed at! There's always a liquor store that doesn't I.D. If we like you.. we share.. if not, then fuck you! 18 to party and 21 to drink really means bring extra money for the bouncer. I know what real pizza tastes like & probably hate the pizza from your favorite pizza place. Everyone knows at least one girl who's a stripper All good mornings begin with a bagel, all good nights end at a diner and of course all good parties end with a fight. It's a SUB, not a grinder, a hero, or worse, a hoagie. what the hell is a grinder dammit?. It's Taylor ham, not pork roll or Canadian bacon. I go down to the shore not to the beach Jersey girls are the best girls, just stay on their good side or FUGETABOUTIT I can spend countless hours on the boardwalk doing absolutely nothing...and still have the time of your life My second and third homes are the malls and quickchek/7 11/welsh farms/sunrise parking lots I may say some words with an accent, but at least I don't say "ya'll" fuckin hicks I judge people by what exit they are off the turnpike or the parkway. I know 65mph really means 80. My road rage is outta control, so don't piss me off When I cut someone off, you get the horn and the finger Its pronounced NORK not Newark thats just gay When somebody tries to mimic a jersey accent i won't hold back from punchin them in their face I know of a place or been in a scene of the Sopranos North Jersey goes to Seaside.. Central Jersey goes to Belmar.. and South Jersey goes to Wildwood. duh. I know what the exact definition of a "Benny" is. Only place you dont have to use the "New" part and people will still know where you are talking about. i.e. "Hampshire" wouldn't work, ya gotta say "New Hampshire" but sayin just "Jersey" everyone knows. The only state to have farms, beaches, cities, vacation resorts, mountains, and they are never any more than a 4 hour drive. Oh, and NYC and Philly are extremely close as well. Jersey is the only place that you can call dirty and it's still cool. You are always 20 min if not less to any 24 hour diner. When we say, we're going to the city, it's already known which city it is. Grease trucks - if you're not from jersey, don't bother trying to figure that one out. It's called the shore, not the beach! It's cawfee and tawlk. Have some the best metal band You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. I'm from New Jersey and I love it cause we do it the fucking best.

(1 overdoses | ) You should FILL THIS OUT [25 Jul 2006|11:06pm] [ mood | weird ] Do this for me, please: Kait is ________. Kait thinks a lot about _______. When I think of Kait, I think of ________. I want Kait to ________ me. If I were alone in a room with Kait, I would _______. I think Kait should _____. Kait needs ______. I want to ____________Kait. If I could describe Kait in a word: _______. Kait will never ______. Kait is always _____. Someday Kait will ________. Kait reminds me of _______. Kait can be __________. Worst thing about Kait is _________. Best thing about Kait is _________. I am ________ with Kait. +Am I?+ 1. Cute? 2. Crazy? 3. Lovable? 4. Funny? 5. Annoying? 6. Psycho? 7. Daring? 8. A good person? +Would You+ 1. Hug Me? 2. Miss me if I was gone? 3. Listen to my problems? 4. Hug me if I cried? 5. Be a good friend? 6. Get in a fight for me? 7. Run evil social espionage missions for me? +Love Shit+ 1. Would you Ever go out with me? 2. If you already have, would you do it again? 3. Kiss me? 4. Marry me if you could? 5. Ever talk bad about me if we ever broke up? 6. Make out with me in a cemetery? 7. Snuggle with me? +Me+ 1. How Well Do You Know Me? 2. When's my birthday? 5. Who is my best friend? 6. Who am I crushing on/dating? 7. Favorite color? 9. Favorite Animal? 12. Favorite song/songs? 13. Favorite music groups? 15. What song would you dedicate to me? 18. What would I use to dispatch a horde of hungry zombies? +If You Could+ 1. Give me a new name, it would be? 2. Do one thing with me, it would be? 3. Drop me a piece of advice, it would be? 3. Kidnap me for a day, where would we go? +You+ 1. What do you love about me? 2. What do you hate about me (seriously)? 3. What is my best quality? 4. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be? 5. What is your honest opinion about me? 6. What would you do if I sang out of tune? +Random+ 1. what song (if any) reminds you of me? 2. Do I remind you of any characters on TV? 4. Have you ever had a dream about me? 5. Do you think I'm a virgin? 6. If you just met me how old would you guess I am? 7. Am I huggable? 8. If you could give me anything... what would it be? 9. If you could promise me anything.. what would it be? + Personal + 1. Am I ugly, average, decent, good looking, beautiful, hot, etc? 2. Do you ever think about me offline? 3. If you could describe me in one word... what would that word be? 4. Do you/have you ever had a crush on me? 5. When we first met, what were your thoughts? (if you've met/talked to me?) 6. If you had to describe to someone who I am and what I am like, what would you tell them? 7. What are my faults? 8. My strengths? + Everybody + 1. Do you wish we were closer? 2. Why aren't we closer? 1. How long have we known eachother? 2. How long have we been friends? 3. What was your first impression of me? 4. When you saw me, did you think I was dorky? 5. What is the funniest thing I ever said to you? 6. What is the stupiedest thing I ever said to you? 7. When was a time I really annoyed you? 8. When was a time you had fun with me? 9. When was a time I was really down in dumps? 10. When was a time I was on cloud nine? whuts that 11. What is my best quality? 12. What is my best feature? 13. Have you ever been jealous of me, if so when? 14. Are you currently jealous of me in any way, is so why? 15. Have you ever wanted to be in my shoes for any moment, if so when? 16. What is something you think I take for granted? 17. What is something you know is important to me? 18. Do you think I have ever been inlove, if so with who? 19. Who is someone I hate? 20. Who do you think is my best friend? 21. Who do you think I will marry? 22. Who will be my maid of honor at my wedding? 23. How old do you think I will be when I get married? 24. Am I... (put a * next to ones that sort of am, ** next to ones I am, and *** next to ones I really am.) -nice -mean -funny -caring -understanding -pretty -ugly -weird -interesting -confusing -a good friend -smart -stupid 24. Who do you THINK i like? 25. Can you come to me for advise? 26. What is the best advise I ever gave you? 27. What is the best advise you could give me? 28. Have I always been there for you? 29. Do you think I always will be there for you? 30. If you were describing me to someone else, what would you tell them? 31. What song reminds you of me? 32. What do you think my #1 wish is? 33. Do you regret doing or saying anything to me in the past, if so what? 34. Have a secret confession to make to me? 35. Do you love me?

(2 overdoses | ) Seth said this to me.. [25 Jul 2006|12:18am] To hold you in my arms as we sleep would be heaven, our bodies tangled in an endless embrace of love. To awaken in the morning with the sight of your beauty would stop my heart, though the breath from your lungs would revive me to a dazing conciousness. Your irresistable lips inches from mine, the sweet taste always at hand, wanting nothing else to delude your essence from my lips and tongue. To drink nothing but you from our kisses, is all that I would ever need to survive. I love him..

( ) [24 Jul 2006|06:43pm] Ozzfest in a week! Excited. (:

(1 overdoses | ) she didn't need any words.. [17 Jul 2006|01:27pm] Airports are strange places. There's a mess of teary goodbyes, and joyfull embraces. There are the people who are rushing towards a destination, wherever it may be. Then there are those stuck there, waiting. It's one of the most diverse places I've ever seen. Flight 27 was delayed due to bad weather in California. A sign, maybe? "Where you headed?" He turned around, searching for the source of the voice. The only person around him was this girl. This beautiful girl. With long dark hair, and a pair of the brightest blue eyes he'd ever seen. He looked around, positive that this angel wasn't talking to him, but he was the only one around. "... me?" He asked, still not sure. She nodded her head. "um, well, I don't really know. I'm on the flight towards California. I don't know what's next.. How about you?" "I guess we're on the same flight, obviously." She pauses. "I think everybody here is either running away from something, or running towards something. For me, I'm running away. I'm running away from this place, from this past, from these people. I've been stuck here my whole life." Her voice started fading out, it seemed she was starting to get consumed in her thoughts. Her voice gained back strength."This is the first chance I've had to get away, I'm taking it. I don't know who, or what's waiting for me in California, but I just need to get out. ...What's it for you, are you running away, or are you moving forward?" He went to answer, then realized that he himself had no idea. "I'm not completely sure. I think both, kind of. Moreso moving forward. I grew up in New York. I didn't hate it there, so it's not really that I'm running away. I just wanted to find something different, someone different, maybe. I'm going to be on flights to different places untill I find something or someone that makes the place worthwhile. You can live somewhere your whole life, and still not have it be your home. I refuse to be one of them people. It's not where you live, it's who your with. That's what makes a home." She smiled, and it lit up the whole room. For that time, he didn't notice the thousands of people rushing past them, or the airport, the luggage everywhere; does anybody actually need all of the shit they take along with them? He didn't have a clue about anything. All he knew is that he was talking to this beautiful girl, and she was smiling at him. It made him feel something that he couldn't explain. He told her more in the five minutes tops they knew eachother than he had told anyone in his life. He was home. He was in an airport, with a girl he barely knew, but he was home, and he didn't want to leave it. He smiled back. Then, he took her hands. His words were rushed, as if he didn't have the courage to say them slower. If the words flying out of his mouth a mile a minute didn't come out fast enough, he might not say it, and he was tired of missing once-in-a-lifetime chances. "Like you said, we're all here for a reason. We're all running from something, or running towards something. This is crazy, I have no idea what this is, but it's right. I think I missed you before I even met you." She cut him off. "You don't even know my name. You don't know my past, you know nothing about me, and I know nothing about you. You're right, this is crazy." He continued despite her. His words gained speed, if that was even possible, as he went. His breath was short. "Do things such as a persons name really matter? I really don't think so. A name is a name. What does it change if my name is Bob, or Peter? Your past is your past, you can't change it. I can't picture knowing everything about you, and finding anything wrong. That's why this is so right. We're both running away from something, and running towards something that neither of us know. Can't we do it together? You know what I said before about home? I found home. I found home in an airport, with some girl who's name could be anything, but it doesn't matter. None of it matters. This is life, we can't waste it on stupid stuff, and regret it later. You could totally reject me, but at least I'll know I took a chance. ..please, come home with me." Just as he ended, and took in much needed air he'd been depriving his lungs of the past minute or so, the loudspeaker anounced * Flight 27, Los Angeles California. Please start boarding. The flight leaves in 10 minutes.* Once again, she smiled, grabbed his hand, and started walking towards the plane with him. She didn't need any words.

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