| View: | User Info. |
| View: | Friends. |
| View: | Calendar. |
| View: | Memories. |
| You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries. | |
|
|
Blurty for Vanessa.
|
||||||||||
| Monday, February 14th, 2005 |
|
||
|
My brain, strain, i feel no pain. All kinds of chemical space through my brain. This and that, well let me counteract, i'm lost in the vortex And there ain't no coming back. I become you; and you become me... Lost in a dream of fact and fantasy. Hallucinations from red to green -- To find the calculations for why we fiend ! |
||
|
|
| Wednesday, May 26th, 2004 |
|
||
|
with y o u - i soar, i float ... on the [thinnest] air. |
||
|
|
| Monday, January 26th, 2004 |
|
||||||||
|
"i just breathed you in... like my first breath...i need to live now. i'm pretty sure my heart stopped at that moment." |
||||||||
|
|
| Sunday, August 31st, 2003 |
|
||
|
PETA Members NAMBLA Members Objectivists Creationists Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies River Styx Rednecks River Phlegyas George Bush General asshats Republicans, The Pope |
||
|
|
| Monday, August 25th, 2003 |
|
||||
|
An unexpected bonus for just about every guy on the planet. He’s plowing you and you’re yelling for more. Talk dirty, talk cheap, scream his name, scream complete gibberish. No matter. You are the Mariah Carey of the bedroom and he loves every fucking syllable that spews from your luscious mouth. Maybe you’re the "Mary the Librarian" type by day. But by night, honey, watch out. The vocal chords let loose with everything your heart and mind have been thinking about all day long. What Cocktail Are You? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva  You Are Blueberry Flavored Lube!Eccentric, strong, and aggressive. You are the flavor most likely to be on top. You are the flavor least likely to let your partner decide anything. Sound yummy? Get Blueberry Flavored Lube Here :-) What Flavor Lube Are *You*? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
||||
|
|
| Saturday, August 16th, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
"the phone slips from a loose grip. words were missed then some apology - i didn't want to tell you this, no it's just some guy she's been hangin out with, i don't know, the past couple weeks i guess. thank you and hang up the phone. let the funeral start. hear the casket close. let's pin split-black ribbon onto your overcoat. - but laughter pours from under doors in this house. i don't understand that sound no more. it seems artificial like a tv set. - well haligh, haligh, haligh, haligh this weight it must be satisfied. you offer only one reply. you know not what you do. but you tear and tear your hair from roots. from that same head you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove our love would never die... well ha ha ha. - but i remember everything the words we spoke on freezing south street. and all those mornings watching you get ready for school. you combed your hair inside that mirror. the one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears. something about those bright colors would always make you feel better. - but now we speak with ruined tongues and the words we say aren't meant for anyone. it's just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance, [but there was once you - you said you hate my suffering and you understood and you'd take care of me. you would always be there, well where are you now?] - haligh, haligh, haligh, haligh, the plans were never finalized but left to hang like yarn and twine dangling before my eyes. as you tear and tear your hair from roots, from that same head that you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove our love would never die. and i sing and sing of awful things, the pleasure that my sadness brings as my fingers press onto the strings you get another clumsy chord. - haligh, haligh, an awful lie. this weight will now be satisfied. i will give you only one reply, i know not who i am but i talk in the mirror to the stranger that appears. - our conversations are circles, always one sided, nothing is clear. except we keep coming back to this meaning that i lack. he says the choices were given and now you must live them or just not live, but do you want that..?" |
||||||||
|
|
|
||||
 Masochist The ULTIMATE personality test brought to you by Quizilla why do i tend to always have love/hate relationships with everyone..? ah, oh well. probably because people are shit. |
||||
|
|
|
||
 You're depressed. Really you are. And you definitely have a reason. You often space out and stare at things blankly, even if you're normally hyper and energetic. This is because NOTHING REALLY SEEMS IMPORTANT ANYMORE. You might just be sad right now, or you might be manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa and stuff'll be ok. How Depressed are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
| Thursday, August 14th, 2003 |
|
||||||
|
the smashing pumpkins - "tonight, tonight" " time is never time at all you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth and our lives are forever changed we will never be the same the more you change the less you feel believe, believe in me, believe that life can change, that you're not stuck in vain we're not the same, we're different tonight tonight, so bright tonight and you know you're never sure but you're sure you could be right if you held yourself up to the light and the embers never fade in your city by the lake the place where you were born believe, believe in me, believe in the resolute urgency of now and if you believe there's not a chance tonight tonight, so bright tonight we'll crucify the insincere tonight we'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight we'll find a way to offer up the night tonight the indescribable moments of your life tonight the impossible is possible tonight believe in me as i believe in you, tonight" |
||||||
|
|
|
||||
 GIRL INTERRUPTED - you have some emotional problems with yourself and I think you have to think about yourself alone. What one of my favorite movie are you like?? brought to you by Quizilla  Nihilist Bear Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by Quizilla GOOD NEWS: saul and i are talking again *grins* i'm soooo happy.. i missed him a lot. he said that he's gonna move into his uncles, and he lives really close to me! and if he does, he's gonna go to tinora.... soooo that means if i cant go to defiance and jayde can't go to napoleon, i'll just go to tinora i guess, and be with saul. OH WAIT. i forgot.. he's a year younger than me.. damn. well... shane and jacob go to tinora *devious grin* but saul said we can go back to the way things used to be with me and him.. i feel so relieved about that. |
||||
|
|
| Wednesday, August 13th, 2003 |
|
||||
|
Katie Andres (ICQ#166852528) Wrote: awwwwwww nessa that is soo sweet!! that really makes me feel good and u should know .. that ur always one i like to talk to as well.. no matter what u always seem to find a way to make e feel better and u always bring out the finer things about me- not many ppl do that! and that kinda stuff is the best thing a friend can do! like never change gurl.. ur an awesome person!! u have a heart of gold and u know what u want and u know who u r!! and thats really a sign of maturity!! so that sgreat!! |
||||
|
|
| Tuesday, August 12th, 2003 |
|
||||||||
 The Withered Lover What sign of the Black Zodiac are you? brought to you by Quizilla ..... ha, i just found that amusing for some reason.  borderline Which Personality Disorder Do You Have? brought to you by Quizilla yeah, i already knew that one. |
||||||||
|
|
|
||
 RX Queen What Deftones song from White Pony are you? brought to you by Quizilla psh, not anymore. |
||
|
|
| Sunday, August 10th, 2003 |
|
||
|
oh yeah.... i missed michael the first night. it was horrible, and it was when i was crying. but.. nothing TOO serious. i still love him, though. there will always be that little piece of me that does... and tell me, how am i supposed to ever be with someone else, still having that piece of michael...? *sigh. |
||
|
|
|
||||||||
 Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses, and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby! What kind of porno would you star in? brought to you by Quizilla hmm.. i doubt i would star in any porno, so i don't exactly know why i took that quiz. but suuuure, whatever. A bondage porno.. would be... very interesting. hehe *devious grin* But yet, everyone who seems to take that damn quiz gets a bondage porno..(even KRYSTA).. wow. She's never even done anything with a guy, or done anything like that, but she trys to act like she is. Stupid fucking "POSEUR". but the whole "gothic/punk" thing seems to be what's in nowwa days.. so of course she has to try to act like it. I mean that's fucked though. JcPenny's is trying to sell fishnet clothes.. JC FUCKING PENNY'S. ..... wow, i just DONT understand this. lol, i really don't. All i know is i won't be a part of that stupid shit. I'm me, and that's the best thing that i can be.. (wow, that was the most optimistic thing i've said this year, i think) I'm just happy that my mom raised me to be my OWN person, and not to act like others. To be a LEADER and not a follower. And she's soo right. I don't want to follow other people, or try to act like a certain group of people, i just want to be ME, and wear what i want to wear, buy what -I- like.. and i think that's what i do. good for me... heh. I had fun at Natalie's, though! I stayed there for 2 days. We watched "PRETTY IN PINK"..hehe, yay! Actually we watched a lot of movies, including FEAR *sigh* lol. I mean i love that movie so much, but wow... the things it does to me. Awww.. and she made me watch "I Am Sam".. it was sooo sad. I cryed so many times throughout that damn movie.. lol yeah, i know.. i'm pathetic, but fuck it! I'm like the most emotional fuck that i know.... My mom says it's because i have a strong trait of "empathy".. lol Oh well i like all of me and my emotionalness...?? |
||||||||
|
|
| Friday, August 8th, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
I just thought i should write that Michael and I broke up.. for the last time. We hadn't talked for 2 days, and i finally told him that i couldn't take it anymore... and yeah, we both felt the same way. I was so scared last night though, i had to call Natalie and talk to her about it. I mean Michael was such a BIG part of my life for soooo long, and for me to lose feelings for him, was just really scary for me. Because.. it's all over. Who knows what will happen from here. We decided to just be "good friends" though, which i'm very happy about. I need him in my life somehow, and i know that. I'm just hoping that i don't realize i still want him, and start missing him or something, but i doubt it will happen, because this is the first time that i actually stopped feeling strongly for him... and i don't know why it happened :( it's so WIERD. and i wish it wouldn't have happened.. AHHH. I wish i still LOVED HIM SOOOO MUCH.... but i don't. GRR. I just don't know what's going to happen from here, and i'm really scared about that for some reason. I'm used to always being hung up on him! lol. I mean i have been for like 9 or 10 months, and that's a LONG time to be hung up on someone, for it all to just end like THAT! hmm... :/. I'm jsut glad that we're gonna be good friends.. maybe we'll be better as just good friends. But i know i will always love the person Michael is. He gave me something i will be FOREVER thankful for. The feeling of being able to "truly love someone".. and the feeling of someone really loving me back. What can i say?.. He was my "FIRST".. the first 'love' of my life. And you never forget the first. Thank you sooo much for that Michael. That's the greatest gift i could've gotten. :) For that, i will never forget him, and he will always be such a big part of my life. In a way, he changed the person i am... in a good way. I'm sure i'll be writing a lot about that whole situation the next couple days, since this is gonna be hard and extremely weird for me. Right now though, i'm waiting on Natalie's behind to get over here and pick me up. YAYYYY, No more boredom today, THANK GOD! She was supposed to go to the band thing with Jayde, but she said they got it mixed up, and it wasn't that or something.. i dono, then she asked me to stay the night. I'm surprised Jayde just didn't stay the night again.. lol. " heart strung is your heart frayed and empty, cause it's hard luck, when noone understands your love. it's unsung, and i say.. goodnight, my love, to every hour in every day. goodnight, always, to all that's pure that's in your heart. " The Smashing Pumpkins x "Farewell and Goodnight" ... goodnight, always, Michael. |
||||||||
|
|
| Thursday, August 7th, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
what is a true friend anyway...? anyone and everyone you ever let in or trusted bails on you. and without those people.. there's no use to be around. "This is my December This is my time of the year This is my December This is all so clear This is my December This is my snow covered home This is my December This is me alone And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all The things I said To make you Feel like that And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all the Things I said to you And I give it all away Just to have somewhere To go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to This is my December These are my snow covered dreams This is me pretending This is all I need And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all The things I said To make you feel like that And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all the things I said to you And I give it all away Just to have Somewhere to go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to This is my December This is my time of the year This is my December This is all so clear And I give it all away Just to have somewhere To go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to" Linkin Park x "My December" usually i don't like linkin park songs, but for some reason, i think this one is good. probably because it's slow, and i'm a sucker for any god damned slow song. |
||||||||
|
|
|
||||
 Your Heart is Black What Color is Your Heart? brought to you by Quizilla  Black: PEOPLE SUCK THE WORLD SUCKS EVERYBODY SHOULD BE KILLED AND BLEED TO DEATH TILL THE COLD EARTH SOAKS IN BLOOD. Well, you're angry at the world. For reasons who knows, but you definately hate life. Sara What color do you see the world in? brought to you by Quizilla hehe, i like that picture. how... beautiful! |
||||
|
|
|
||||||||
|
Describe your... [ x ] Jewelry worn each day- black earrings, dakota rose ring, ring from my brother, and bracelets. [ x ] Pillow cover? a tan color. [ x ] Coffee cup? it has hearts w/faces all over it! hehe.. my daddy bought it for me, filled with candy a LONG time ago! [ x ] Favorite shirt? my black Glassjaw shirt, and Michael's zero shirt. [ x ] Cologne/Perfume? just some peach or vanilla spray from bath & body works! [ x ] CD in stereo right now? um, i don't think there's one in there lol. [ x ] Piercings? ears, for now.. but soon i'm getting under my lip, and when i'm older the left side of my lip! Who or What (was/is/are) [ x ] In my mouth - squirt was last in my mouth. [ x ] In my head - umm, wondering when Natalie is going home, because i want to talk to her :( [ x ] Wishing on a star- i dont wish on stars. [ x ] After this - i have no idea *sigh* more boredom probably.. [ x ] Fetishes - hehe, ooohhh lots of things *innocent girly giggle [ x ] If you could get away with murder who would you kill - *evil grin*.. hehe, oooh. i know exactly who.. Mrs. Renee Bentley! [ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - Natalie/my daddy [ x ] Is next to you - space...? lol [ x ] Some of your favorite movies - Fear, The Virgin Suicides, Donnie Darko, The Pact & For The Very First Time. [ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - going to the mall of america in MINNESOTA *wink wink natalie! lol. [ x ] The last thing you ate? frito pie [ x ] Do you like candles - oooh, i sure do! i take after my mom on that one. [ x ] Do you like incense? - yes, speaking of that, i need to get some! [ x ] Do you like the taste of blood - *smirks.. UH HUH! [ x ] Do you believe in love ? - sigh.. yes. [ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - no, that would be "LUST" deary. [ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die - i don't really care.. probably incinerated. [ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - i'd just want kittens, since i grew up with a lot. [ x ] What are some of your favorite candies - sixlets, nerds rope, and strawberry charleston chews lol. [ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - ha, soo many things! A - Act your age - ha, most the time. B - Boyfriend - yes C - Chore you hate - i don't have chores *neener-neener* D - Dad's name - Jeff E - Essential make up item - mascara, eyeliner, and lip gloss. F - Favorite actor - Johnny Depp & Ryan Phillippe G - Gold or silver - gold H - Hometown - Defiance I - Instruments you play - none J - Job title - high school student K - Kids - meh, i don't really want any, but the MAX is 2. L - Living arrangements - grandparents M - Mom's name - Lisa N - Number of people you've slept with - christ, i'm no whore.. ZERO! O - Overnight hospital stays - i think 2-3 times. P - Phobia - drowning & suffocation Q - Quote you like - "there's nothing like losing you." R - Religious affiliation? none S - Sibling - 3 brothers T - Time you wake up? between 2-4..lol. U - Unique habit - i have LOTS! :) V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - PEAS! uck.. *gags* W - Worst habit - playing with my hair, biting my nails, and worrying too much. X - X-rays you've had - don't think i've had many, besides when i go to the dentist lol. Y - Yummy food you make - i can cook just about anything! Z - Zodiac Sign - Capricorn |
||||||||
|
|
|
|
Blurty for Vanessa.
|
||||||||||
thoughtful.
sad.
stressed.
awake.
okay.
dorky.