| Starved for Attention |
[02 Dec 2003|09:13pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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"Toxic" Britney Spears |
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Kids who go to shows LOOKING for fights are lame.
Denali is amazing. Seriously, her voice is like.....I'm just jealous.
Britney Spears just keeps getting hotter.
I keep getting gayer.
I'm looking for someone to marry...I'm now accepting applications. (No ex-cons please)
Here's my Resume for Wifeage
I bake a mean cookie
I like snuggling
I will attempt to cook fine entrees for you
I will bare your children
I will most likely divorce you and try and take all of your money
I will love you
I will NOT cheat on you
Your children will grow up without mental problems
That's about all I got.
I need food before I wither away.
P.S. EVERYONE BUY MY FRIEND SCOTT'S BAND'S CD. THEY ARE CALLED BULLETS OVER BROADWAY. SLUTS WATCH OUT......
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| For you, I'd do anything.. |
[29 Nov 2003|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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"Three days grace" I hate everything about u |
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i love being up at seven in the morning. Oh how i long for my bed and covers, to suggle in them so gently, and drift slowly to sleep. So i can dream of fuzzy white things and warm weather.
Christmas time is officially here. The wallet officially needs to open for someone other than myself. Santa is a fucking perv. Not the real Santa, but the one in the mall gives me the creeps. I don't know if I'll be down to let my kid sit on some random old guys lap.
I need to become more social again. I find myself to be very comfortable with movie rentals and couches. I used to go out...go up north more often, meet more people, go to more parties, have more fun. But to be perfectly honest.....I'm happy right where I am. I feel like im out of the loop though, like I'm not a part of things like I used to be. I guess thats what happens when the leaves fall from the trees. Human beings go into hibernation as well.
Words of the Day
obstinate adj. (a)sticking to your opinion/course of action, etc. against all arguments. (b)which will not go away.
perfect 1. adj. [per'fekt] (a)without any mistakes or flaws. (b)past tense of a verb which shows the action has been completed; to perfect.
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| insight on the best. |
[23 Nov 2003|01:50pm] |
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music |
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"Rain on Me" - ashanti - RIP BYTES :( |
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I was reading and thinking about your entries. In my experience with you(kaley), I have come to know you as the most caring person in Peeps 1. The most realistic and down to earth person in Peeps 1. In the past few months I have had some interesting trials and you have been there to help me through them. I am forever in debt to you.
I want you to know, unlike most people from online; I will never dissappear, when you need me I will be here, no matter what the reason, I will always be keepin, you next to my heart.
I will always be yours kaley, just say the words.
As this is short their are so many things I want to say to you and can't. I hope that some day I will be given the opportunity to be blessed with your presence and say/do/express the things I feel.
With all my everything,
-=- Kenny.
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| Oh sweet misery kill me now on my knees... |
[19 Nov 2003|09:25am] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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"Emotions" Twista |
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Ultimately...what it comes down to...is me just wanting someone to like me for ME.
I walk around everyday and just observe people's gestures, and the way they walk. I look at couples, and how they look at each other. You can tell a lot just by watching someone. Just by noticing the little things they do.
The way someone sips their soda, or the way their eyes move when you talk to them. You notice what different laughs mean, and you can tell when they are sad without them having to say it.
To me, the definition of love is no matter what the circumstance..you want that person to be happy. And if it means being selfless, then so be it. Their happiness is what matters. Love is when you really listen when someone talks. Love wears no makeup. Love is knowing what their favorite cookie is and baking them for no reason. Love is calling for no other reason than to hear their voice. Love means making time. Love means focusing on what's going on right in front of you, rather than years away.
How do I know anything about love, when I've never been in it before? You don't have to be in love to know what love is. Love is the little things. The trivial things that no one else would notice.
Someday someone will love me minus the foundations and push ups. Minus the nail polish and expensive perfume.
Someday someone will think I'm beautiful when I just wake up.
Someday I will love someone in return.
Someday my insecurities will be eased, and I will learn to love myself.
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| Kaley Love |
[05 Nov 2003|11:49pm] |
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peaceful |
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music |
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Papa Bear~When the rain begins to fall |
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People may think that Its fucked up and many other negative words you could add to this sentence to think that you can fall in love with someone that you meet on the internet. But, to be honest, I really dont give 2 shits what those people think because, I love you Kaley~MUAH~
Just because we have never met eachother in person is no reason to think that you cannot love someone for being themself. I love Kaley and everything she is about.
Although we may never get to meet eachother in person ( I so wish that we were able to though), doesnt mean I cant love you for being you does it?
I love you, Kaley, because...
*You have the best personality of any girl or boy, or should i just say person?, that i have ever known.
*You are beautiful inside and outside
*You are caring and loving
*You are high spirited
*You are attentive
*You are funny
*You are honest which are one of the best things i love about ya
*You are goofy and crazy(like me)
*We have so much in common that its CRAZY!!!
*You listen and you are there for people when they are down
*You make people feel better about themselves, I know because you make me feel better about myself all the time:D~muah~
and best of all...
*I love the way you express your emotions, I envy you for this and wish I could do the same.
This may not make sense to you babe but it''s me, thats why it wouldn't. All you need to know is that your lovely and i love you and thats basically what Im saying. But I hope it does make sense.
So, I love you girlie..I dont care that people think its crazy to have internet friendships but I love everything that you are about and dont care what they think...because I love you.
I wish you all the best in whatever your future holds for you.
Be safe hun
I love you bebe~muah~
~!!~KerBer~!!~
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| enough with all the drama... |
[05 Nov 2003|03:02am] |
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music |
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Shortcut For a Quick Get AWay |
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So I took alot of people off my friends list yesterday...Bc of stupid internet drama that i do not need to deal with... and there are specific reasons I took certain people off. It all basically boils down to trust, or lack thereof. I'm not looking to start problems, I just need all this negative bullshit behind me. I'm not angry, I'm not bitter, I'm not spiteful; I'm merely hurt. I simply want some things gone from my life and if that means ending relations, so be it. I'm sick of always feeling betrayed and stabbed in the back by the very people I thought were my "friends," even close "friends." I'm tired of being lied to, being taken advantage of, being taken for granted, and having secrets kept from me. I can't handle it anymore; I need to move on and start over, and the only way I can do that is to distance myself from whatever is causing me pain. I'm sorry if some of you don't understand why you were taken off, and I'm sure many, if not all, of you couldn't give two shits either way, but in case there was any confusion. Other than that, I'm sorry to anybody who cares. Thanks for all the good times.
..Damn it feels good to get somethings off your chest....
ps..Ty for that entry Kenny.
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| To feel Adored.."GlassEater" |
[05 Nov 2003|02:31am] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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how do my lips feel?
can you feel my struggle?
emotions held in since childhood
and it's my turn to let you know
i've been stepped on,
walked on, abused, refused...
shallow people living shallow lives
learning first hand
the consequences of love
feeling so low
one with the floor
every now and then it comes and goes
feeling this high
up in the sky
oh how i've waited to feel adored
so much has changed since then
this inside is still tainted
slowly getting over it
at times i feel so untouchable
sometimes the smallest things bring me down
depression sometimes kills the best of them
so let me use you to forget about the past
and ill do it like that because you said i was the very best
how do my hands feel?
can you feel my pain?
because i've never felt this good
from me to you.
===I can relate to this song so well :( = = =
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| Kaley needs Lovin. |
[04 Nov 2003|08:17pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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Internet Drama hits home hard.
Its hard not to get attached to people and I think anybody who has chatted for a significant amount of time learns that the hard way. Once you are stuck, the only option is to involve yourself elsewhere with other people, away from the internet. You can't sign on periodically or you will get sucked back into the same position. It has to be complete and total disassosiation from chat and its personel.
Kaley Is a Great Girl
Kaley deserves more credit than she gets. And by all means, she deserves what she wants. I wish I could help her out in her love life, it's still quit a mystery to me. Based on the previous postings Im going to assume she has had hardships in the area. It seems she only wants the simplest requirements in a guy, If I lived in Cali. and could meet those simple requirements, I can truthfully say I would give my best. I find it sad that a girl like Kaley can't find the happiness she deserves.
It REALLY is a cruel world.
All she wants is a little committment, kinda like another person I know.
So if you know her, And you have stepped on her toes, let this warning enter your thoughts the next time you think about hurting her. All she has to do is make the situation known.
- With all my love Kaley, You know where to find me if you need me.
----------Kenny----------
p.s. Sorry if some of this doesnt make sense :) Its just scrambled thoughts.
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| Waiting for a star to fall... |
[29 Oct 2003|08:01pm] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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music |
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Anthem Of Are Dying DAy |
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Today....
i realized my chest hurt then it came to me that i had this really intense dream.
Lying in my bed, just waking up, not yet realizing where i am, my eyes drastically bulge as i grasp my heart with both hands. My heart aches.
i guess i died from a heart attack. i've been trying to analyze this freaky occurance but it's weirding me out considering i woke up with my heart hurting.
But on another Note...
i've been thinking about a lot lately. do i really want to just be that girl everyone wants to make-out with? i already have forgotten what it's like to kiss someone with feelings. i mean, yes, it's fun to have that control when just doing things on the spur of the horny moment.
WHATEVER. i know what i want and how to get it. it will happen. you just wait and see.
just weighing out the comparisons.. option #1 = make-out with someone for one night, probably never speak to them again because of loss of interest and have them talk shit.. or #2 = having someone you know you can always run to and cuddle with whenever you want, seeing them whenever you want and not worrying about what people say.
Not like people's opinion's matter to me, but there's something so comforting in having that boyfriend figure that only his opinion makes a difference. i love that feeling. losing complete control of what i feel and enjoying myself one-on-one with another person means something to me.
i've decided i need to go somewhere and look hot but there's an issue with that..
there's no one to impress anymore besides myself.
i don't wanna play the game.
i don't wanna be *that girl*.
i don't wanna be something i'm not.
i just wanna go out there,
be myself and have a good time.
Brit's entry made me think.
Boys are like my new plaid pumps.
i want to place my feet into them and learn how they make me feel.
They either have the option of comforting me or hurting me and leaving scars.
i never want to be one of those girls who wear shoes when you know they're gonna hurt you
and cut you up and make you wanna fall to the floor and cry.
That's one thing i know i'm strong enough to not get sucked into.
***someone find somewhere for me to go to just have fun and forget about life for a while.***
i.need.to.get.out.of.here.
i need to be saved from my fucking emo misery.
Sweetness.. This isn't working.
I thought the breath that you'd bring would give me life.
Yeah.
And she's a mellow dramatic.
She said that I was romantic,
but then the gun went off.
And now I've left you to bleed here all alone.
And I look so beautiful.
<3..i think i just need a good, long, meaningful hug..
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| Learn the Alphabet.. |
[29 Oct 2003|04:49am] |
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amused |
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music |
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My sherona |
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A - Act your age: sometimes..
B - Boy who's just a friend: Justin
C - Chore you hate: i don't do chores but i hate cleaning up after myself. i love living life in clutter.
D - Dad's name: Fred
E - Essential item: CDs and Nail polish..haha
F - Favorite actor: Pauly Shore..hehe
G - Gold or silver: silver
H - Hometown: monteray county..yep born in raised in da ghetto
I - Instruments you can play: electric guitar and the piano
J - Job title: Criminal pyschologiest.
K - Kids: they're cute. only sometimes.
L - Living arrangements: in a shitty apt stuck with two dumb idiots for roomates:)
M - Mom's name: Brenda
N - Number of people you've slept with: hmmm dont cha think thats a lil personal..haha
O - Overnight hospital stays: when i was lil..i was a screwed up kid lemme tell yah
P - Phobia: commitment, flying, spiders, and being alone:(.
Q - Quote you like: *Everything's beautiful when you don't look down..*
R - Religious affiliation: christian, catholic .. all that fun stuff.
S - Siblings: only child..kinda depressing but good at the same time
T - Time you wake up: haha like i could give you a good time.. i never sleep :(
U - Unique habit: making myself look oh-so-makeoutable.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: i like veggies.. i don't hate.
W - Worst habit: assuming unnecessary things.
X - X-rays you've had: my ankle when i realized i'm sucha fuckin guy because i can't walk in heels.. damn social gathers that call for casual dress.
Y - Yummy food you make - i make some mean ass chicken wings..haha
Z - Zodiac Sign - Virgo..hmm perfectionalist, give excellent advice, down to earth.. do i actually hold those qualitys? lol.
Oh the drama..
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| love me hard. love me long. love me til the break of dawn |
[27 Oct 2003|06:54pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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Whoa! Another Manic Monday.
I have the Hugest "crush" on someone.
I feel like a little school girl again
And I L0ve It!
I helped out with the childrens play
it was sooo cuuute.
I got told by one of the six yr olds that i was "Pretty"
That was "PRICELESS".
hmm took the long way home today
It makes me unsure of where I am going
I like to think of it like that.
Life is all about being lost.
Because when you end up somewhere unexpected
Things just seem so much more beautiful.
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| When I said I'd take it, I meant as is... |
[26 Oct 2003|07:25am] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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You know that feeling
When youre driving home and the trees turn the road into the perfect telescope
And the sun is setting and the clouds are just lavander and pink
And the sky is a type of blue that you only see once a year.
And as soon as you turn the corner onto that road
And this view is aparent, its all you see
The perfect song comes on
And youre driving through the trees
And you feel like youre driving past all your problems, all your worries...
And you know that feeling
Like everyone you care about
Should be looking at the same thing you are
Should be sitting beside you
Listening to that same song...
Or at their window
Or in their apartment
With their eyes on the sky
And seeing things theyve never seen
You know that feeling....
You know it all to well.
Where everything you love is just connected in beautiful lines and disapeering clouds
And as your nearing your street the moon comes out and that song is ending...
And you hope to God that the person you love the most is watching that same moon
And you find comfort that you'll always have the sky in common
You'll both always be under the same set of stars
Forever and ever you will share the heavens
You know that feeling?
Thats the one I had on the ride home.
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| [[HoldMe.ThrillMe.KissMe.KillMe]]: |
[26 Oct 2003|07:14am] |
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mood |
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I have a tendency to think before I speak, and an affinity to hiding who I truly am until I know I can trust someone. To sum me up is a task deemed impossible.An unequal porportional ball full of sass,hopeless romantic tendencies, sarcasm, intelligence,and a bit of bitterness held against this world that I was born to lose in, but a hint of stubborness that I refuse to be held down, and live to win from.My one fear? To die alone.
To Be Great Is To Be Misunderstood..
but to die alone is a fate less desirable.
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[24 Oct 2003|09:34pm] |
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rgyefhufhf
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