| Looking for submissions |
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| 06:44pm 14/09/2010 | |||||
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No I am not looking for slash, yaoi, yuri, or femslash type stories but I am looking for stories in horror, modern day science fiction, eerie literary fiction, and creative nonfiction that's dark in nature for the magazine. No romance of any kind either. I am aware of Twilight and some others out there geared for teens. Ideal word counts are 2500 to 4500, but the word count that I will take at the maximum is 34,000 words and I publish one of these entries. There will be payment for stories -- I am offering $10.00 for short fiction and novellas, but the editors's choice is going to weigh in at $30.00 up to $50.00. I pay for one time north american rights. The reprints will go for $7,00 via paypal or if you are 18 without a paypal account, I will sponsor the paid accounts for you. |
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| 02:07am 20/07/2010 | |||||
| i know this community has been dead for a while, but in case anyone ever checks it: there is a new blurty writing community. :) Pithy. Come join! | |||||
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| Addiction |
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| 04:31pm 26/04/2005 | |||||
The darkness of the night collides with the shadows that lie in my mind. Shadows that dance across the happy memories, covering those memories in a darkness I can’t break through. The darkness only brings out the demons I was taught to fear, and with the light they are only more visible to my fading sight. I don’t know who I am anymore. Who I am, those words are foreign to me. I no longer am, I’m just here. I crave the security of permanency. To know that when I blink, my setting will remain as it was before my eyelids closed. To know I can close my eyes, and not risk losing everything. The permanency to know that tonight won’t be the last night we lie above the covers with sweat droplets streaming down our faces in the summer heat. The permanency just to know. Lying here, shaking. Jerky convulsions as my body craves the one thing that makes me. The one thing that makes me feel nothing. Teeth grinding to a melancholy song. Pain jolting through my jaw from the grinding, but it’s a song that refuses to be silenced. I suck on a wet washcloth attempting to appease the grotesque noise, but even the warmth of the baby blue cotton fails me. I promised you I would stop. They say the first thirty hours are the hardest part. Well, I’m on the twentieth hour, and I don’t think I can pull through. My body is screaming, and I don’t know if I can let the shrieking fall unanswered. You need to know, that the needle is full, and it is a hand’s reach away. It would only take a second. A pull of a rubber band, a push of the needle. The sensation would rush through my body, and with it, the numb feeling I’ve been craving all my life. I don’t know if I can fight it off this time. The chilling sensation grasps my body, creeping up my spine as the icy fingers squeeze every breath left in my body. I’m shaking now, shaking from the silence. The darkness is creeping back in, and now the needle is in my hand, and the sensation that’s waiting beneath, it’s waiting for me. A sensation, that is all I need. I can’t fight the pain anymore, it’s caving in on me, and I’m about to suffocate. The suffocation isn’t what scares me, living scares me. I drained the needle, and this time, the warm liquid ran down the sink, and not into my vein, and with it slipped everything I’ve held onto for the last six months. I felt my sanity slip as, PLoP, the last drop echoed down the sink. The ground has collapsed beneath my feet, and there is nothing holding me up. I need your hand. I miss the smooth broken lines that lie as paint does across an artist’s canvas, each line unique. I miss following the lines across your palm, feeling the smoothness of perfection. Mostly, I miss the warmth of your hand. The pale warmth of your hand that enveloped my small hand on so many nights. It was the touch of your skin that pulled me through, it kept me grounded. It was the warmth of you that made me feel safe, well as safe as I could feel. Sometimes I think if I had that warmth, if I had your hand, everything would be okay. If I could only retrace those beautiful broken lines, perhaps I would not feel so lost. If I could feel your steady pulse, perhaps I would not feel so vulnerable. But baby, the only pulse I feel is my own, and that pulse grows weaker by the second, and I am waiting for it to stop all together. Waiting for the moment when the rhythm is broken, as the rhythm of my life dies along with it. Why did you have to notice the tracks on my arm? Why couldn’t you just ignore them? Why did I wince when you touched my arm? Why did I let you pull up my sleeve? Everything was perfect Aaron. Why couldn’t it have stayed that way? Why couldn’t you just ignore it, why couldn’t you accept me for me? My world came crashing down with one look from you, and it’s never been the same again. I hate you. I hate that you had to ask. I hate that you couldn’t just leave things as they were. I hate that you let me hurt you, and I hate that you let me love you. I hate that I now sleep alone, and I hate that I am alone. I hate that you left me when I couldn’t quit, and I hate that I couldn’t quit for you. I hate that you’re not in my arms. I hate that I can’t look into your eyes anymore. I hate that my pillow no longer smells of you. I hate that I love you. I simply hate. It’d be so easy to give in, I almost want to press the needle into my flesh. The needle is empty, but even the motion seems to calm me. It’s a dance I memorized, like the graceful ballet steps which were once so precious to me. The steps engraved into my mind; first position to arabesque allongée followed by an attitude derrière, ending in fourth position. Now the only success I know, is to fight off the craving. The only success I know, is for the rhythm of my heart to continue, and for me to survive another hour. The only success I know is to fight a craving I’ve given in to for so long. Just to fight. Aaron, I can’t sleep. My eyelids are so heavy now, weighted down by six sleepless months. My mind races, running through memories, memories of joy, and memories I would rather not remember. To remember. Ever notice that it’s not very often one remembers the rainy days when one took on the largest puddles, invincible with their yellow, rubber boots? Or the days of “I love you” and kisses to say goodnight and I‘ll miss you. The memories that float to the surface are the ones better left beneath the surface. The memories of anger, despair, and desperation. I clutch the worn brown teddy bear in my arms. It’s falling apart, just like me. The stitches are coming out, and the eyes are missing. The bear is losing its seams, as I lose everything that once held me together. The bear is blind, as I am blind to everything I once knew. Blinded by a sensation I bought on the corner that sunny day. The value of my life was sold for three pieces of paper, and I‘ve never been able to buy it back. I wonder where you are. I wonder who now enjoys the comforts of your strong hands. I wonder who now keeps you warm at night, and brushes the dark curls away from your eyes. I wonder who is now the focus of your deep brown eyes. I’m sure she can give you more than I ever could. I wish you could have met me before, met me when I wasn’t a shell of a being. I wish you could have met me before, and known the depth of my affection. All those nights you nursed me to health. All those nights spent with you when I never said “I love you”. I wonder where you are every second of the day. I’m sure it’s somewhere better, somewhere where your eyelids close lightly. Somewhere where you hear “I love you”. I lost everything that day in the warmth. I sold my sun, you and happiness that day. I lost everything with the sound of those three pieces of paper. The three pieces of paper that rubbed together, as I passed them into the old woman’s hands. The old woman who did not pass unto me wisdom, but ignorance. The old woman who bought my world for three pieces of paper, each covered with the number five. The old woman who handed me my demise. The old woman is gone now, but I feel her with me. I feel her taunting me, telling me I should have known better. I should have known better seeing those scars running up and down her arms. Scars from years of doing what I do now. The old woman sold me her pain, and I bought it. I bought it, and drained it into my flesh. If only I could drain my pain out so easily. The pain of knowing I am the only one to blame. The pain of knowing I was meant to live for so much more. The pain of knowing, I lost myself on a summer afternoon, on the sidewalk. My body aches. It aches for your touch. I’m hungry for you, and it’s a hunger I can’t ignore. I’m starving and need the nourishment of your love. Yet I am desiccated, hollow and alone. You have abandoned me. You’re decomposed at the core and are found not wanting my affection. Can I blame you? Look at me, I’m shaking and comparing you to rotten fruit! Damn it Aaron, why won’t you just support me just one more time? I won’t go back to the drugs, I promise. I won’t sneak into the bathroom, I simply won’t sneak. Baby, I’d give everything to have you back in my arms. I’d give everything to smell the smell of coffee and peppermint on your breath. I’d give everything simply to have you in the same room. Because Baby, in a moment the warmth of your smile would melt away a million moments of pain. In a moment, your presence would erase every painful memory. In a moment, you’d give me a reason to live. A reason to crave the rhythm of my pulse to continue. You’d give me a reason. A reason to live, a reason to care, a reason to love, a reason to simply be. I wish I could let you go, let you remain in the sun. But Baby, the shadows are caving in on me, and I need you. I need you, and maybe we could have both reached the sun, but you simply remain in the sun, taunting me. You’re so close, and yet so out of reach. If only I would have passed into the sun all those times you begged me to. If only I would have listened. And now, you’ve left me, and all I can do is stare in longing. Stare at the rays of light, as they slowly creep away leaving shadows in their place. Stare at the life I could have known. Stare at the warmth I could have known. There’s not much more time. My rhythm is slowing down. I can’t find my words anymore. There’s a haze over me, and it’s creeping into… I’m losing myself, all over again. The rain is coming. The rhythm of the rain, only reminds me of the slowness of my own. The rain is crashing down on the tin roof over me. It sounds like the war drums, who used to push soldiers into battle. I wish I could win this battle with them. But, I am found wounded and incapable of moving on. My vision is blurred by the rain, and then in an instant, it clears. The sun slips through the dark clouds, and there in the puddle beneath my window, I see a rainbow. A small child comes out from the protection of the doorway. Her golden hair matching her yellow, rubber boots. SPLASH goes her feet into the puddle, and the rainbow disappears, lost within the ripples. The sun slips back behind the dark clouds, yet the child continues to play. Splashing from puddle to puddle, ready to take on the next. I close my heavy eyelids, and for the first time, the shadows recede. Vanishing into the past, as the child’s laughter floats up to my window. I welcome the sound of joy. A sound that takes me back to the time of warmer days. A sound that takes me back to my childhood. A sound that takes the place of the rhythm of my life, as the rhythm slows to a stop. |
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mellow| Newbie |
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| 06:00pm 09/04/2005 | |||||
I'm just a vintage fanatic with too much time on her hands and her head in the clouds. So enough about my wishful thinking, here's a contribution. the fall out Slaughtered By your hurricane A sacrifice On your altar Spellbound by a beautiful disaster That defied all logic Shredded my sanity Like sandpaper to chapped lips. I’m bleeding From my crucifix And did you know your weapon was unexpected? It’s unfair. Because you can’t leave a girl so dizzy and spinning and grasping for a hold on the earth and expect her to catch her balance again. But I must confess. Vanity looks so good on you Like yellow does on blue One flash of that smile Threatens your victims to shiver… Make way Clear the streets Collapse on Bloodstained knees Praise hypocrisy Like your own personal Jesus Light the world ablaze with your treason And all hail the great pretender. comments? please be honest, but not brutally. ;) |
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apathetic| 2 new Songs |
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| 11:06am 05/04/2005 | |||||
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( American Way ) ( Pistol Whipped ) |
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| Song #7...Tell me what you think? |
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| 02:27am 25/02/2005 | |||||
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.....Memories of Glass..... Cabinets always empty can't say we ever cared Nothing in my stomach Stale smoke in the air our cat was eating plastic the roommates and the heat The feeling of fucking rats crawling at our feet i just came here to visit but it seems like yesterday When i was too doped up too listen and you fucked my soul away. the poor Rabbit in the closet was rotting there for weeks I smoked powered foils and you got us all the tweak and when you weren't out fucking you found god in silverware I never knew how bad it was until I wasn't there All those god damn drug deals rush hour traffic in and out Sunlight peeped through silver in a world were light was doubt knocking at our doorway paraphenilla, a quarter pound talked yourself in circles denied syringes on the ground i just came here to visit but it seems like yesterday When i was too doped up too listen and you fucked my soul away. An indention in the hallway still reminds me of the past sudden asphyxiation children watching from the glass and yet no one could help me no one ever said a word just the ranting of a druggie my voice was never heard |
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| Forbidden Love |
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| 03:28pm 20/02/2005 | |||||
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wish i could feel something, I wish i could shed a tear, but inside all my confusion there's nothing that I fear I want so much to touch you and I want to feel your hand words are long since overdue wish you could understand Forbidden love, I hurt so bad Forbid my Love, Too bad your sad honey come to me Mind, Body, Soul. I'll take back my chance To make you whole To much pride to say this You probably hate me anyway Too late make a difference consumed by shades of grey Forbidden love, I hurt so bad Forbid my Love, Too bad your sad honey come to me Mind, Body, Soul. I'll take back my chance To make you whole You don't know I miss you and I guess you never will this pain inside my head It always makes me ill Forbidden love Mind, body, Soul i'll take back my chance I'll make you whole |
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| The Siren |
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| 12:52pm 18/02/2005 | |||||
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The Siren Nothing but a Siren, a bird with womans head If you come apon me You should turn around instead All throughout my travels, I have pained and I have learned, So many men that listen Rarely do return. and though I post my warnings before the Rocky shore they think that it is nothing a rumor to explore Yet I keep on Singing What else am i to do? Though I have all these feathers I Can't say I've ever flew Just a simple song bird, Don't let desire led a heart of jagged rock Isn't really what you need All throughout my travels, I have pained and I have learned, So many men that listen Rarely do return. and though I post my warnings before the Rocky shore they think that it is nothing a rumor to explore Everyday i feel guilty I see these sailors on the rocks but i can't really help it To my song they always flock I am a deadly Siren Listen and you will fall Sometimes I just want to sing and have no one hear at all |
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| lost little girl |
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| 10:01am 27/06/2004 | |||||
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this poem was written back in September before I moved. Lost little girl, I have been dreaming of, falling into that sea of chaos, drowning with each breath you take. I can't stop the memories that hide in my eyes, haunting the desires of mine. I can't see anything. Why won't you stop these whispers and these hushed words that tear at my skin, making me bleed, making me crawl across the broken blades, across the broken glass that fall with me into the lost words of myself? Careless promises mock my tears, pulling me away from this world and from this life. I can't pull back. Lost little girl, take me far away. I can't escape this dream of yours and I can't break the surface of the ice that traps me within my fear, my sea, my dreams, my life. Or is it yours? |
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| 04:07pm 29/04/2004 | |||||
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She left What is your poison, they ask her A cruel smile forms on their faces They know she doesn't drink or do their drugs Her addiction is self-injury... The blade rips into her milky while skin and she smiles Blood flows from her perfect gashes She cuts again, this time deeper No one wants to approach her, they are scared She is sitting in the hallway of her dorm -- Carving into her skin Finially someone get the R.A. and her roommate, they were studying together They didn't think the girl couldn't make it alone for just one hour They cautiously approach her, but she can't see them through her pain Her roommate takes the blade from her hand and lifts her head up towards the ceiling The girls eyes are swollen red and she is paler then usual Her R.A. picks her up and takes her to her room The two take care of the bleeding wounds, asking her what is wrong She cried harder and mutters a name and the word failure The two look at each other, and realize they've lost the girl that they had grown to love The monster inside of her that she has warned them about had arrived With their arms around the girl, they tell her that they won't abandon her The girls cries again, harder now, repeating -- "There is nothing we can do, I've lost it all..." This is where their journey begins..... ~Sarah Michelle 04-29-04 |
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| 03:23pm 29/04/2004 | |||||
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Part Two When the girls comes to She doesn't know where she is You can hear her screaming from down the hall From her padded room, she's against the wall Doctors and nurses come running to her They tell her she is lucky to be alive She ignores them and demands to know where she is They tell her she is in a mental ward Here is where suicidal residents come together She learns she's under lock-down, 24 hour watch Set up by her doctor, and her newly wedded husband She'll be locked away for only two weeks Well -- That's assuming she gets better... ~Sarah Michelle 04-28-04 |
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| 11:40pm 28/04/2004 | |||||
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PART ONE She has failed you once again She's sliced open her veins Blood is pouring out again It's flowing down the drain You hear something hit the ground Her body's on the floor She's slit her wrists again This time deeper than before She's bleeding hard, even with applied pressure The paramedics tell her husband Only a miracle can save her now They rush her into surgery They give her someone else's blood They've repaired her veins But now their crusted with dried blood The doctor's say that's it She's going to the ward.... ~Sarah Michelle 04-28-04 |
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| 04:33pm 23/03/2004 | |||||
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and if you ever come asking about the revolution, do it your fucking self. http://www.deadjournal.com/users/beautifulsmooth |
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| Nightmare |
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| 11:26am 25/02/2004 | |||||
I jumped, scared, as it skittered in my sheets. I took the plastic container and trapped it. I watched the terrified little brown thing. Tiny little crawling thing. I killed it. Then, I sat and watched the flat little body. I wondered obliquely, if it had a family. I wondered at my life, to destroy a right. Right to destroy a life. Any life, every life. I put the thought aside and crawled into the death-stained sheets and slept. I opened my eyes, smiling slightly. My skin tickled. A light, pleasant, lover's touch on my arm. More touches. Tickling, crawling, over every inch of my skin. I scream and flinch and tear my body back, away. The touches, the spiders follow, hair and spindles and eyes on me. Crawling, touching. Sticky film holding me, filling my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my nostrils. I scream. I scream. They swirl and surge forth and their smell invades me. Smell fo dust. Smell of blood. Smell of pesticides. Smell of sweat and frangipani. They coalesce, they grin and taunt me. They grab my skin stronger and hearder, threatening to tear, threatening to break. And their myriad eyes become two, and their spindles make hands, and he holds me down. He pushes, and I scream. I scream. I scream. I wake, having hit the ground, tumbled from the murderous sheets. When I can breathe, I'll burn them. |
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| Newbie. |
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| 08:39pm 10/02/2004 | |||||
The World's Screwed For a Reason A child holds up a drawing Simple green trees against a blue sky His mother feels like bawling Simple trees are simple lies Tears falling down skyscrapers Tears falling in landfills Screams deafening the taxi horns Screams, bold in all human wills Looking around at the world and frowning Instead of how the society's risen Maybe it's astounding Yet society's past the horizon Ignoring the humanity we call for Forgetting the lives we wish to lead When pollution becomes our breathing When nuclear bombs bring peace Other's blood stain the ground Out of which we grow Other's lives wasted just to please Those who claim to know Intelligence is a weapon now Wisdom is hidden Intelligence kills those to ignore it Ignorance is forbidden An innocent child holding his drawing And as he grows he screams 'treason' While he is dying and he is crawling The world's screwed for a reason Ciao now. TRACY |
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amused| i'm posting. finally. |
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| 11:52pm 09/02/2004 | |||||
Inside Glass Walls - IV At night, when alone again, I would pour over magazines and articles, in hopes that I could catch a glimpse of her. A photo credit--something to give me a glimpse of the person I knew, who had left me two years back. ( Read more... ) |
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| First writing in more then 3 months. |
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| 01:21am 08/02/2004 | |||||
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It is very quiet here, and there is no heat. My own breath is silent, hidden by clicking clicking keys. I hide my breath, making the keys click and click. Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been months since my last writings sprang forth. I have strange and disturbing thoughts. I think of death, I think of blood. I think of silence, with clicking clicking keys. It is not dark here, but I cannot see so it may as well be pitch black. Can't see what I want, only the searing bright white lights. And only hearing the clicking clicking keys. The world tilts. Spins and turns around to the left. I lean to the right, I try to stay still. It continues to move, and I am spun around. Leaning to the right. Burning lights. Clicking clicking keys. Cold. Silent. |
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| oops |
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| 02:10pm 03/02/2004 | |||||
| sorry about that..I swear I'm only half retarded. | |||||
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| Consuming Darkness |
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| 02:07pm 03/02/2004 | |||||
I can’t stop it Why can’t I stop it? It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black I’m lost, I can’t see Where am I? What have I become? I don’t know me I’ve lost my friends I’ve lost my family Drove them away It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black Lost my soul And lost my faith Nothing to live for Yet no reason to die It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black Why can’t you help me? Is it because you can’t see me? I’ve been so taken in By this consuming lack of light It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black... |
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| 01:59pm 03/02/2004 | |||||
The darkness swells around me I can’t stop it Why can’t I stop it? It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black I’m lost, I can’t see Where am I? What have I become? I don’t know me I’ve lost my friends I’ve lost my family Drove them away It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black Lost my soul And lost my faith Nothing to live for Yet no reason to die It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black Why can’t you help me? Is it because you can’t see me? I’ve been so taken in By this consuming lack of light It’s taking me over I no longer can see the light It faded away to an empty black . |
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writing |
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