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Worthless Princess

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[25 Jul 2003|06:32am]
"Vanilla Heart"

I'm afraid of people,
I'm afraid of being torn apart.
I'm afraid of people,
and what they can do to my heart.

Too many times I've wandered,
out into the hills of green,
only to be plundered
deep into the chaos of your seas.
I know not of my savior,
only that the day must come,
before the moon sets
into the cage that you weave.

I'm suffering in my own darkness;
colors are only fractions to me.
I am joyous in my newfound apathy,
when all I want to do is bleed.
I am an angel, as we all are,
but I am too far from home,
and too blown away to see

That people are only people,
that is all they'll ever be.
The past only haunts us,
because that's all we want to see.
Blue is only deeper,
than green lost in its own sea;
a forest too high for the sky to reach,
but they try and they try.

I'm afraid of people,
I'm afraid of the darkness in my heart.
I'm afraid of people,
I thought everyone deserved a good start.
Look what they've done,
to this vanilla heart.
Just fucking look at what they've done,
I'm torn apart.

Go ahead, indulge,
Take a spoonful of what's left,
Inside this vacuous cave...
That once was,
And never again will be,
My vanilla heart.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:31am]
"Be There For You"

The bright star in your sky,
The shoulder when you cry.
The sun that dries your rain,
The one who feels your pain.
The one taking the fall when you're to blame,
The one who'll make you glad that you came.

I am afraid...

Afraid that I shall never be all of this,
Afraid that I will die without one last kiss.
Afraid to live, our future is not far away,
Afraid that this just might be our last day.

So tell me...

Are you scared, or are you brave?
Did you put flowers on my grave?
Are you weak, are you rusted?
Are you worthy, are you trusted?
Am I alive, or am I dead?
Do I exist only in your head?
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[25 Jul 2003|06:30am]
"Wedding Vows"

From this day forward, I vow to you my loyalty.
I will love you always, in poverty or royalty.
Love seemed like a myth to me before we met.
The day of our first kiss, I shall never forget.

When I'm with you, I feel my life is completed.
All cruel memories of the past have been deleted.
We laugh and we learn, hand in hand,
As symbolized through this wedding band.

Bright as silver, shiny as gold,
Our love remains as we get old.
Sparkling champagne, like the diamonds on my ring,
We are joined here today, as the sparrows sing.

Two hearts will combine on this very sacred day,
Our paths are brought together, leading just one way.
Love is pure, passionate, and true,
Each and everyday, I vow to love you.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:30am]
"Search For Love"

All I want is love,
A passionate romance.
I want a pair of lips
With the sweet taste of ambrosia.
I want the comfort of security,
Being wrapped in a lover's embrace.
Soulmate, lover, destiny...
Why are you still hiding?
Come out please, whoever you are,
Whatever gender or race you may be.
Let us speak of no words,
And savor the confrontation.
Our arms will lock and entangle
Like roots of a mighty oak tree.
Our lips will greet
With angelic purity.
So please, end this game
Of childish hide-and-seek.
My love, my equivalent,
Do not be afraid to explore.
I shall bring forth no harm,
No lies, just love.
My broken heart longs to be with yours,
But I fear I shall never find you...
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[25 Jul 2003|06:29am]
"Gathering N and O" (rough draft)

Together we rode
Down the dreaded path
Of sorrowful goodbyes
And endless tears.

Together we walked
To my front door
Still sobbing...
Our final embrace.

Final, but temporary.
Five long days
In another state
And further away.

Are we slipping and splitting
From love's sweet nest?
Will this bring us closer
To fill the empty gaps?

Sorrow, my love,
I weep for you.
I weep for me.
Sorrow weeps for us.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:29am]
"Gathering NJ and OH" (final copy)

Dreading the path of goodbyes
And the oceans of our cries,
We rode along the Trail of Farewell,
Listening to the warning bell.

If you really leave today,
Will both of us be okay?
Are we ready for such a leap,
Prepared for the endless weep?

A last embrace, before the long days,
Disappears in the night's grey haze.
Our passionate kisses still remain
And are the cause of this immense pain.

Are we slipping from love's nest?
What do we do, what is best?
Feed me with daily phone calls and "I love you's",
For this is a battle that we must not lose!

This is the hardest thing I ever had to do,
Number one, right above the arguments with you.
Such a wreck, I lay in bed with your clothes on,
Smelling your sweet scent, and longing for the dawn.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:29am]
"A Lost Memory"

I am a...
Forgotten phone call,
Lonely abyss of broken dreams,
Heartbreak magnet,
Broken looking glass,
Shattered soul,
Hideous ogre,
Slut with closed legs,
Victim of men,
Pervert without a libido,
Feminist without a girlfriend,
Cat without a purr,
Neck with ropes around it.
I am a decaying corpse.
I am... a lost memory.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:28am]
"I Love Someone I've Never Met"

Do you realize the power you have?
I'm at home, crying, thinking of you.
I'm still waiting for your phone call,
Still dreaming of that special love.

I don't even know you,
We've never even met.
Now I'm afraid that I,
I have fallen for a stranger.

You aren't even a stranger,
For strangers are seen.
I don't know what you look like,
Don't know a thing about you.

I have really gone overboard,
I'm sinking in this ocean of misery.
And I'm sad to say that I,
I blame this all on you.

Let us meet at last,
Let me see your face.
I want to know exactly
Who it is that I love.

I hope you love me too,
And treat me like a person.
Would you return my calls,
Would you even notice me?
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[25 Jul 2003|06:28am]
"Separated"

I am separated from society,
Locked up in my little cage.
I am separated from the one I love,
Come see me bursting with rage.

Separated...

I am separated from the angels in heaven,
None of them will ever watch over me.
I am separated from all of my friends;
We used to hang out, but now they'd flee.

Separated...

So tired of living like this,
I know suicide is not the way.
It's hard for me to wait for him,
I sit and cry, hope that he is okay.

Separated...

Death will only make it worse,
I'm separated from his kiss.
Only time can make things better,
It's the only way to solve this.

Separated...

Missing, wanting him badly,
Lying on my empty bed.
Now crying myself to sleep,
Wondering if I'm really dead.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:27am]
"Witness My Suicide"

I could slit both of my wrists,
And nobody would notice.
I could hang myself tonight,
When everyone is in sight.

They wouldn't look at me,
They wouldn't try to see.
If my attempts are failures, don't bring me back.
Let me die or bring on another attack.

Let's share our first and last kiss,
Before I am thrown into the abyss.
Dance with me in the garden,
And watch my gravestone harden.

"Here she is, the slave of Heartbreak,
Who killed herself for her lover's sake.
They had never been on a date,
But she ruined it, now it's too late."

Fuck life, fuck happiness, fuck love,
Fuck Satan and the fucking "God" above.
I'm sick of this fucking place,
I'm sick of being a disgrace.

I'm ending everything now, don't hold me back,
I don't need a reminder of what I lack.
I'll take the final step tonight,
And kill the diminishing light.

I always cared for you,
What else could I do?
Just forget you ever met me,
I bet that will make you happy.

Nobody wants me here,
So let my body sear.
I'd only ruin lives more,
So let my dead spirit soar.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:27am]
"With Hearts, Not Eyes"

You never held me when I cried,
But without you, I would have died.
You never kissed away my pain,
But your kisses do drive me insane.

Do you even understand me at all?
Over a machine, because you never call.
If I killed the box, would you pick up a phone?
Would you say you love me, with a slight, sweet moan?

Does anyone understand the way I feel?
I'm like an orange no one wants to peel.
They are afraid of seeing me,
With my blossomed misery.

Maybe they're afraid of hearing,
The stories that I'm rendering.
Maybe they just don't know
That favors come and they go.

I do everything to help them,
I help every little problem.
And still, there is nothing for me in return,
Can you do me a favor, is it my turn?

Listen to me, that's all I ask,
I will still do your pointless tasks.
Hear me with your hearts, not with your eyes,
And hold me now as this broken girl cries.
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[25 Jul 2003|06:26am]
"Spoiled Simpleton"

Why waste your precious gold on me?
I am but a simpleton, can't you see?
Diamond ring, stuffed animals to hold,
A blanket for warmth when I get cold.
You spend a lot, spoil me too much.
Every night I cry without your touch.

Hear my song of sorrow and of pain,
And of how you dried up all my rain.
Sweet sunrise! Awaken star of fire!
For soon, I shall have what I desire!
To see my sweet angel, on just one knee,
Proclaiming his love with sweet symphony!

Echoes of his melody are flowing out my eyes,
He pauses for a moment to cease my joyous cries.
Tomorrow shall give great proof,
With sweet and subtle words of truth.
Spoiled still, but our love is true,
Repeating refrain, "I do, I do!"
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[18 Jul 2003|09:57am]
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