Kelc Paige's Blurty
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kelc Paige's Blurty:

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    Sunday, December 21st, 2003
    10:05 pm
    Wow. Havent talked to ANYONE in a REALLY long time, and by a really long time, I mean 5 days, but still. I got to Tucon yesterday night at 10:30 this time, 12:30 our time. Like the DC trip, too many things are happening to tell everything, so heres a lil run down on the ol' family tripage.

    Top 10 People I miss the most:
    1. Leah
    2. Brooke
    3. Merker
    4. Tim
    5. Ashtynn (oddly enough.)

    Mainly the 1st 3 mainly because they are my best friends, and being here I need some insane, dirty, inappropriate humor. Guys...a.k.a Sara and B.rock, remember when we all went to Chicago, and we were at the Sears Tower, and there was that guy that yelled at us for being obxious, and Brooke was hillar. and made fun of his accent? It was sweet.

    Top 10 Annoyances/differences:
    1. traveling for 10 days with my mother is about the worst fucking thing you can imagine.
    2. My cousins go to bed insanely early, like 9:30, and get up insanely early, like 7-8am. How are these kid teenagers you ask?...I have no damn clue. But they do it. They claim that all normal kids do, and that my going to bed between 3 and 7am on holidays is the wierd thing... hmmm.
    3. The lack of accessable CD players in my grandparents house, there is one, and I have to make sure any music with cursing is on the DL.
    4. Church a couple times a week, which is surprizingly nice, I think Im going to bring all the pamphlets back to Kim, apposed to a real present... because I hate her.
    5. The PC-ness that I have to maintain in this living condition. I dont know why either, usually I promise myself that I won't change just because that there is a different living style here... but it like a fucking force, if I even say damn or hell around here I feel like I am going to be damned to hell! (get it guys? a little play on words there-HA!)
    6. Having to sit around and listen to my parents/aunts/uncles/cousins/brother brag about themselves and/ or their offspring... when I absolutely HATE bragging about myself, or hearing people brag about me. NOT that I have anything to brag about ever. But it still sucks. I just want to say, guess what- I dont play sports, I dont sing in a church choir, and Im not taking 2 years of classes at once- but i have so much fun! My weekends are fucking sweet, I go to parties, I have dinner parties, I go to black movies and try to be black, I steal candy from Meijers- WoW. But, I sit, and am quiet... and try to ignore. I mean I love being here, and I love my family, and its nice to actually be in a functional house for one time in my life... but its just different I guess.

    Top Ten Nice Things Here:
    1. My uncle and aunt and grandma and grandpa are all still together, and all love each other, and dont fight and hate each other, but are forced to be together because of their children... "And I love their love, and I am thankful, that someone received the prize that was offered, by all those fairy tales that druged us."
    2. Catus's decorated with Chrismas Lights
    3. 80 degree weather in the mornings.

    Well I gotta go, its getting to be late, 10:30 already. Whew.

    I love and miss you all!!!
    LOVE YOU!
    Kelsey
    Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
    9:50 pm
    So today was pretty much hillar. my face litterally hurt from smiling so much, which has never ever happend to me before. THough I heard that it was quite common. (Not really that common) Anyway, 3rd hour was hillar. as per usual, right now I sit next to Jeff, who just makes me laugh no matter what, its like a fucking natural reaction, you listen to Jeff, ya crack up, it just happens. Anyway, then after school. THE FIGHT: heres the deal, there is this HUGE dyke named Paige Cushman, not to be confused with Paige Cashan... wierd. And she was talking some major shit about my good friend Brooke... and not just normal high school shit, but horrible shouldnt say this to your worst enemy type shit... so bad that I dont even want to type it here because I dont even like to repeat it, its that horrible. And Brooke being the badass that she is was just like "Im going to kill her" which she was in the process of doing, Merker in the process of helping when Jen the bodygaurd shows up, and stops the show. Now I have a lot of respect for miss Jennifer Garrison, Ive known her since 5th grade, and shes always been nothing but nice to me, but man Paige deserved to be punched.
    FUNNY SENERIO #1: Sara was looking for Paige after school to beat her ass, and she saw Little Bogen from the back, totally thought that it was Paige because they have the same hair, and had the same colored shirt on today. Un/Fortunately Merker thought with her head and not her boobs (because thats what she thinks with when she fights... her boobs) and totally didnt turn Bogen around and punch her. Good thing, because 1, this time Sam wouldnt have deserved it, 2, Im pretty sure Sam would have beaten the hell out of Sara this time.
    Anyway, so no one got to beat up Paige... but its coming, oh is it coming...
    After school Merker, B.rock and I went to Merkers, and it was HILLARIOUS, and I missed them so much more than my mind lead me to believe. I wanted to go visit Miller with them, but my dad is convinced that I have the plague and am not to be let into a hospital, because my severe illness with wipe out all the patients. WHATEV.
    Tomorrow I get to see Tim, Im excited, I should call him but Im afraid of lack of things to say, plus Im afraid of what the doctor had to say... so why not just put it off till tomorrow :-(... uhg. So Im super nervous about that, probably for no reason... but still. I dont know. The point is I get to see him tomorrow and that is all that matters at this paticular point.
    Well new news in the Paige/Brooke/Merker fight that I need to tend to.
    Later.

    -Kelsey

    Current Mood: content
    9:50 pm
    So today was pretty much hillar. my face litterally hurt from smiling so much, which has never ever happend to me before. THough I heard that it was quite common. (Not really that common) Anyway, 3rd hour was hillar. as per usual, right now I sit next to Jeff, who just makes me laugh no matter what, its like a fucking natural reaction, you listen to Jeff, ya crack up, it just happens. Anyway, then after school. THE FIGHT: heres the deal, there is this HUGE dyke named Paige Cushman, not to be confused with Paige Cashan... wierd. And she was talking some major shit about my good friend Brooke... and not just normal high school shit, but horrible shouldnt say this to your worst enemy type shit... so bad that I dont even want to type it here because I dont even like to repeat it, its that horrible. And Brooke being the badass that she is was just like "Im going to kill her" which she was in the process of doing, Merker in the process of helping when Jen the bodygaurd shows up, and stops the show. Now I have a lot of respect for miss Jennifer Garrison, Ive known her since 5th grade, and shes always been nothing but nice to me, but man Paige deserved to be punched.
    FUNNY SENERIO #1: Sara was looking for Paige after school to beat her ass, and she saw Little Bogen from the back, totally thought that it was Paige because they have the same hair, and had the same colored shirt on today. Un/Fortunately Merker thought with her head and not her boobs (because thats what she thinks with when she fights... her boobs) and totally didnt turn Bogen around and punch her. Good thing, because 1, this time Sam wouldnt have deserved it, 2, Im pretty sure Sam would have beaten the hell out of Sara this time.
    Anyway, so no one got to beat up Paige... but its coming, oh is it coming...
    After school Merker, B.rock and I went to Merkers, and it was HILLARIOUS, and I missed them so much more than my mind lead me to believe. I wanted to go visit Miller with them, but my dad is convinced that I have the plague and am not to be let into a hospital, because my severe illness with wipe out all the patients. WHATEV.
    Tomorrow I get to see Tim, Im excited, I should call him but Im afraid of lack of things to say, plus Im afraid of what the doctor had to say... so why not just put it off till tomorrow :-(... uhg. So Im super nervous about that, probably for no reason... but still. I dont know. The point is I get to see him tomorrow and that is all that matters at this paticular point.
    Well new news in the Paige/Brooke/Merker fight that I need to tend to.
    Later.

    -Kelsey

    Current Mood: content
    Monday, December 1st, 2003
    10:47 pm
    Def, Obv, Abriev.
    Whew. Weight off my shoulders. I havent written in here for a long time, because everytime I looked at the last comments I wanted to kill sara. Regardless. And i wanted to tell her how I felt, how I still feel, BUT I am trying to let time pass as it should, but not expressing myself was fucking killing me, so I kind of went by "if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all" But now, i deleted that entry, just so I wouldnt have to look at the thing that pissed me so fucking bad. Now I can write in here again... for a while I guess, until Brooke gets me a livejoural code.

    So, right now it feels like Im on fucking speed, I have so much energy, and I feel..well. Its nice. Being sick for 2 weeks, and not being out of the house for 7 days can really do some damage to a persons stability in life. Today has been the first day that i have felt 85% okay again, and Ive been going nuts. I want out of this house so badly. I went to the doctor today and he gave me a magic shot of Heiroin, which is making me feel much better. On the other hand, I absolutely HATE HATE needles, and I was extremely afraid, when the doctor was done he gave me a hug and it was really nice and cute. But now my muscle in my arm hurts alot, like I just got punched really really hard.
    I really want to see Tim, he didnt call me today like he told me he would, but he did call me yesterday, so at least I know that everything is okay. It really freaks me out when I dont talk to him for like 3 or 4 days, i dont know why. I always worry that he is sick, then I question myself, and everything. I think Im pretty un self-assured, I worry about some crazy ass shit.
    One good thing about being sick though, is I lost 9 pounds. "I lost 9 pounds in one week, on the amazing new tosilitis diet" Unfortunately I think I lost it all in my boobs, which to quote my mother when I told her that I lost 9lbs of boobage "Its not like you had alot to lose in the 1st place" I REALIZE THAT MOM! that is why I didnt want to lost any weight in my boobs! I will have negative boobs! It wont be good. But then she assured me that it wasnt in my boobs and that I look fine.
    Ow. My arm hurts. Ow.
    Anyway, Im going to school tomorrow, it should be tons of fun. I miss Kayli and Brooke and Leah and... Kristen, and alot of people. I really miss Miller, Really Really miss Miller. But since Im a horrible friend I dont know her hospital number, or even if shes still in the hospital. I am horrible. Brooke is beating up some dyke tomorrow, but this girl really truely deserves it. And its not because shes a dyke, its because she said some really horrible things about Christopher, and needs to have the shit totally beaten out of her... with a baseball bat. I wish I could help, BUT, Im already in trouble for my attendance, I cant get kicked out for another 3 days. It would fuck me over big time. Which is a really pussy reason not to fight, but Im serious, they are already trying to take my credits away, and I have to leave for vacation in exactly 16 days. So no getting suspended for me.
    Speaking of Vacation, I am SO psyched!!! Las Vegas is going to be awesome, then Tuson for a week. Its like 75 degrees there right now. Tanning, tanning, sun, cute clothes, and...umm.. oh yah, my family. (Wow, top tep Kate like sentences.....that one.(Sorry, sorry, jeeze, Im stopping.)) But it will be fun, and escape from Paw Paw, even if it is with Doug and Janie. Maybe it wont be that bad... actually it probably will be worse than I am imagining, BUT, as of now Im telling myself that it will be the perfect 2 weeks in paradise.
    Wow, too much to write about, too little time, I just remembered about SCHOOL in the morning (damn school). Last thing on the agenda for the night:
    Ashtynn called me yesterday. I was very surprized, and very... very happy. She called me again tonight, It makes me happy that she is actually making an effort to be my friend again. And its wierd that, thats all it took, and how I seriously forgot that I was ever mad at her as soon as she called me. So all in all this week has been good. Despite my tonsils illness. But I must depart, sleep is upon us...actually its not, but it def. needs to be soon.

    -kelsey

    Current Mood: happy
    Current Music: Johns Sound Board Thing
    Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
    8:30 pm
    This Cheer Up Game Didnt Work. Damn.
    Top 10 Things that make me happy at the moment:

    10:Sitting on my ass, not having any real responsibilities for the day
    9. Not failing school as horribly as I had previously thought
    8. Jami's diary
    7. Marshalls away message
    6. The kick ass party Jessi will hopefully have
    5. That Sam dosent smoke, but he always has cigarettes :) (Me having cigarettes in general)
    4. When Kristen is around
    3. Ani Difranco Tickets
    2. The prospect of leaving this town in a month
    1. Tim.

    Things that piss me off/depress me at the moment:

    10. I never get to see paige anymore
    9. I always have to leave
    8. there are still 2 glorious days of school this week
    7. Friday is the marking period.
    6. Im not 18
    5. Im not 21
    4. my dad is an asshole
    3. I miss john so much
    2. That Sam fake started smoking yesterday
    1. that I am now planning the whole fucking party all by myself (invitations? Check. Called Paul and Tyler? Check. Baking Cakes? Check. Buying decorations? Check. Setting them all up? Check. Sara helping? Un-check...man, Im glad that we decided to do this together.)

    Current Mood: still pissed.
    Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
    10:06 pm
    Cowboy Dan
    Top 10 People I miss:
    #1: Paige, and only Paige. He used to be my best best best friend. Now, what the fuck? I never see him anymore. ever. And when I do its at Tims house, where we dont talk. He seems annoyed by me all the time, which he may be, and if so I truely am sorry, because I dont know what changed. And I wish I did so I could fix it, because I miss him more than the world. Today i was looking at a card he made me when I was sad, and every single time I look at it I smile. And I miss him at school, where he may have been failing, but at least I got to give him hugs everyday, and rub his shoulder, and he would make fun of fake me, and he was actually my friend. I havent even gotten a hug from him since he quit. He used to be there all the time, and make me feel better no matter what, and we would talk about things that pissed us off, and made us sad, and we would scream along to "Cowboy Dan" just because, and have dance parties on the way to Kalamazoo to insane bluegrass music. God Damnit.

    Current Music: none
    Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
    12:46 am
    So. I ve made two posts in the last couple days
    1: I deleted because it told too much of what I was feeling
    2: got deleted because Marshall was trying to clean the dried milk out of this key board.

    So here is a shorter overveiw of our time so far:
    THe drive up was hell due to the fact that I hate Sara, Brooke hates sara, and Bailly likes to be queen/baby of everything.
    Its been, interesting. Highlights: Im in love with Marshall. Im in love with Marshall. Im in love with Marshall.
    Making fun of Matt, who is actually really nice, but tends to like lighthouses alot, watching Bailly want to kill sara for smoking. Marshall/Matts frat brothers are awesome. The shops are sweet. I love cities. We made 75$ for working on an election board today. (it sucked) I got some cool books, a mirror, a shirt with frakenstein on it, and a toothbrush with a guy on it, if you turn it up-side-down his clothes come off.
    As of right now Brooke is taking over the whole bed, so I have to go lay down.
    Night!
    -kelsey

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: Comedy Central- the Daily Show
    Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
    9:34 pm
    There is a face upon my thumb
    Ay Love,
    Haha, yah, Im talking to you one person that reads my diary. Its sad that now no one uses blurty anymore- I dont even have anyone on my friends list anymore. But its always wierd when you find out people read your journals, that you had no clue even knew you had one. I dont know if I like it. It puts you in semi-awkward positions. But anyway- Ive had absolutely no time to write in here lately. The only reason that I have time now, is because Kayli and I were supposed to go to Abby Andersons house with Her, Kim Coady, and Charity Munger, but those plans fell through. Man Kayli and I are moving up in the world! Anyway, today has been... fun I guess, went over to Tims after school, we sat around and watched "Say it Isn't So" on Comedy Central, Tim ate some worms and I tried to talk him into coming to my house and meeting my dad. Hes not all up to it. Unfortunately my dad has the insane idea that its only proper for ANY guy that I ever know to come over and meet him. Which I guess it is proper- but who the fuck is proper anymore anyway? Jeezus. So that sucks, it just sucks that it makes him uncomfortable I guess. I could care less, its no big deal at all, unless its made that way.

    On the other hand, this week is going to kick some major ass:
    Tomorrow: Brooke and I are making mad crazy cupcakes for my bizzledizzle.
    Thursday: Tim and I are going out- fun and excitement sure to follow.
    Friday: PARTY FOR ME!!! 5:30-6:00, here for costumeness, later, Brookes for Bomb-fireness. Later that night, at like 3am, probably Tims for a while Im assuming...maybe?
    Saturday: DC baby! BEST ROAD TRIP EVER! Brooke, Sara, Bailly, and I going to DC. The only way this could be better is: if Kayli, Justin and Kalen were going, and Jessi wasnt so against smoking...

    Im so psyched guys. OwOwOw.
    Wish me luck!
    Love, Kelsey

    Current Mood: anxious
    Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
    9:33 pm
    I wish that there were words...
    Its wierd how things change as you grow up, how you never really FEEL yourself maturing, but once you look back its undeniable that it happend. And how when your a kid all you want to do is grow up, have freedom. When I was little I would watch Clueless every weekend and pray for Cher's life.(FYI: Im stil praying.) Now I watch Clueless (oh yah, I still do.) and want to go back to when 16 seemed REALLY old, and like it would never ever come. WHen you are young your whole life is a game and pretend, and you dont think much of it at all, because when you are little you are so good at pretend games its easy and actually seems natural...real. But the older I get its harder to pretend anymore. It gets harder to pretend that things dont bother me, that everything is going the way I planned it, that everything will work out in the end... that fate has a plan that its working on, I just need to give life time to live itself out... that it dosent really matter. I wish I could just get back into that 7yr old mind frame where... what ever you made belive in your head, is what your head believed... but I think its impossible. And thats depressing, because I all I really want to do is pretend.

    Current Mood: Depressed, I should be happy
    Current Music: Elliot Smith. (RIP)
    Sunday, October 19th, 2003
    10:46 pm
    Hmm
    This weekend has been really.. wierd. Well Friday was Leah and Megs party. It was awesome guys- seriously. THere were so many people there, more than the last show I believe. I was really happy that everyone showed up. I hope Megs had fun. Im sure she did- I think Leah liked it, just because all her presents were centered around cigarettes, and it was hillarious. Brooke got her this bad ass cigarette holder that looked like Cruella Divilles, it was seriously the best thing Ive ever seen. I spent most of the time there with Leah- she is seriously one of the most badass people Ive met lately. Shes so fucking funny. LAter that night we went to Tims, I was really happy that Leah was with me, usually Im all alone, I mean I know everyone there, but its nice to have another girl my age to absolutely hate how beer tastes with. That night was wierd, something was... different, and i didnt like it...at all! Maybe it was me, or maybe it was him... but something just felt fucked up like it never has before. Not as flawless as everthing usually does, just strained and awkward and not him all over me all the time. I hated it. Lately Ive been feeling like one of those uber annoying couples, like Kayli and Jesi, where you would rather not be around them at all, than be around them together. Which I am very sorry to the people that have to be around us, which is usually just like Paige and Kristan... and Sam, but Im sure Sam is retarded and dosent care. But at least I knew that everything was solid, and together. Which Im still sure it is, Im just fucking nuts. Thats it, Im nuts Im nuts and I hate it, if I ever get too sure of something it will fall apart because that is what always happens. Speaking of what always happens, Matt is online, hes not talking to me, its the 1st time that has happend in 7 months, not exagerating. 7 fucking months, we always talk online. We always talk regardless. I dont understand. Yes I do understand, I guess I just dont want to. I hate that I actually think things will ever work out. You know? I actually thought that Matt and I would be friends forever- you know? Like I knew we werent going to be together- I DONT WANT HIM ANYMORE. Im so happy with Tim...but I actually thought that we would be friends, and hang out. And that he would always be there for me, and vise versa. I thought that no matter what, he would tell me things that he dosesnt tell anybody else, and that it would never be awkward for us to just hug for no apparent reason, fuck hugging, that it wouldnt be awkward for us to just talk, that i would always be able to call him at like 1am just to talk to him for a while, and that no matter what happend with him and ashley, no matter how many times they broke up and got back together, no matter if they got married or they got into a fight and never talked again, that i was a separate issue- you know, that weather they were together or not wasnt the deciding factor in weather he felt like talking to me, which I dont know why I would think that, its always been that way, He and Ashley togeher, we wouldnt know the other existed, apart, we were BFFIS. I dont know why not having his company bugs me so much. Its not like he meant anything to me...hahaha...right- like HE MEANT anything to ME. Fuck that, he did, he knows he did, I told him stuff that I never told anyone, THAT is why it bugs me, and it bugs me that it bugs me. And I hate it, I hate that I want his friendship so badly. I hate that he will never know, actually its probably a good thing he'll never know. I dont want him to know that he hurts me when I have absolutely no affect on him. I feel like Ive lost my bestfriend, it hurts almost as bad as when I first relized Ashtynn and I werent friends anymore- But I guess shit happens right? What can you really do about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So I'll let it go, and pretend that it dosent bother me, until he forgets that he ever knew me, and I just remember vaguely that the summer between sophmore and junior year he was my bestfriend...wierd. So there was my rant for the day. Haha- back to my weekend.
    Saturday I woke up around 11, got out of bed around 12:00 when Leah yelled at us and said her and Paige were leaving and offered me a cigarette, so Tim and I got up and I went home. Got my eyebrows waxed, where the woman proceded to rip off 1/2 my skin, it looks nice, lemme tell you. Cleaned out my car, it took like 2 hours, did laundry, went inside to fold laundry and do dishes, thats when my dad started yelling at me about...something, so I just decided to go to sleep instead of cleaning, fuck him, if hes going to yell at me, he can clean everything himself. Woke up in time to fight with my mom and leave to hang out with Kayli and Brooke and Leah. 1st Brooke, kayli and I went to pick up pumpkins at the Pursleys house. We decided that it was a good idea to leave the tailgate on the truck down, so our 20 pumpkins quickly turned into about 14, 4 of them bruised to shit. Then we picked up Leah and went to Steak n' Shake where we ate some good food, talked to this guy that Hillard, Paige and I met once there before, and figured out that straws can be used as cigarette holders. yay.
    Today was the pumpkin carving party/contest. It was real fun. I picked up Leah, Brooke and Merker were already at her pad. Everyone else that didnt come are fucktards, and I hate them. Not really- but seriously. Then I came home, ate, hung out with paige for MAYBE 1/2 an hour. Found out that Tim was in a car with Kevin for some FUCKED up reason, and if they got into an accident because its very likely with kevin driving anywhere (biggest fucktard ever. I hate that kid) then I will kill Kevin, and Im not joking, i would have no problem running him over. Hes a big dumbass that kills cats. I dont care if he gets into an accident by himself, as long its with a tree and no one else is hurt. But if Tim got hurt...or anyone else for that matter- uhg. He is the only person I can see being so irrisponsible and a huge dumbass that he kills people while drving fucked up. Man I dislike him alot. Anyway- Im out its 11:31 right now, and Im exausted. Night.
    -Kelsey

    Current Mood: weird
    Sunday, October 5th, 2003
    12:52 am
    Okay- people are HUGE dumbass, Ive just relized that. Wait, no I didnt. But I was just reading some random jounals, and there are some fucking dumb people in the world let me tell ya. Just pisses me off.

    On the other hand Johnny Depp his hot. And I seriously dont think that anyone understands the imense hottness going on here. I mean come on people look at him. The End.

    kelsey

    Current Mood: bored
    Current Music: SILENCE
    Saturday, October 4th, 2003
    11:23 pm
    I wanna be black- like OJ
    So this SERIOUSLY sucks. I dont know, being grounded can suck me, because to tell you the truth, its not all its cracked up to be. OH WAIT. Yeah it is, it sucks ass, I dont know how Kayli can live her whole life grounded. Anyway, so today I went shopping, I got some pants and underware, Im very excited about the pants. Oh yah. and I ran in to Big Gay Josh "the wall" Hall at the mall. (wow, rhyming.) I guess his contract ran up for Cedar Point, so hes back in town for a while. He went to Express with me, and helped me pick out the "in" fashions, None of which I bought though, Im just not in I guess. But I actually didnt hate his company, I like shopping with him alot, hes all "Honey, that just screams 3$ whore" and then he picked up some shorts and was all "Wow, I do NOT want to see a size 5 girl in these, these shorts should not be worn by anyone thats not size 0 and under, oh they exist!" Haha, Jeeze I missed him... wait maybe not, but Im kinda glad hes back... kinda. ANYWAY, then I got home and was grounded more. Thought about calling Tim, figured I didnt really have anything to say, tried calling Merker, not home, who would be home on a saturday night at like 8:30, me, thats who. I suck. I miss last weekend. :-(
    Anyway, one good thing about this weekend is I got my CD player in my car FINALLY! But this entry is taking WAY too damn long to write, Ive been working on it for like an hour now. pRetty pathetic.
    Oh yah, and I got a Bright Eyes CD :-D
    -Kelsey

    Current Music: Bright Eyes- I want a Lover I dont have to Love
    Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
    8:54 pm
    So Im grounded from life for a while. I personally think its the biggest crock of shit Ive ever heard in my life. Yes, Brooke, merker and I spent a day in Kalamazoo instead of school, what the fuck? 1 day, 1 fucking day out of 3 years Ive skipped school, and I get grounded for a whole week, from life in general. Today was the 1st day i even got to use the phone. I called Tim and was slightly disapointed that he wasnt as excited to hear from me as I was to call him. The only think that keeps me from being insane over-analyzing me is that I know he likes me. Or thats what Im going to go on for now. I figure if I spend too much time analyzing shit, I just drive myself crazy and scare the fuck out of myself- so i'm trying not to. Its working thus far. But last night I was going fucking nuts, seriously, my parents and I were fighting wicked bad, and there was nothing I could do to get away from them. So i sat in my room and tried to think of the most drastic thing I could do to make them relize that Im not happy, I hate it here, I hate feeling trapped here, I hate them. I acually concidered slitting my wrists and walking out to show them, just so they would feel horrible for making me feel horrible. But then I remembered that people do that specifically to die, and that I didnt want to die, so it wasnt as awesome of a plan as I thought it was. Today wasnt as bad, I got to use the phone, I get to drive to school tomorrow, and I will hopefully be ungrounded by monday so Tim and I can go do something fun and exciting... yay ;-D. I have this bad habit of digging my nails into the palms of my hands when Im nervous, or really upset, so right now the palm of my right hand hurts alot. Oh well. I was reading Brookes thing today and I saw a list of GOOD THINGS... I figure I need one right now:

    1. I found sweet wings for Halloween the other day when I skipped school, they are big and black and red.
    2. I got to hang out with Neal :-D!! I love him so bad.
    3. My homeworks almost caught up.
    4. There are brownies upstairs that I am going to promply eat after this
    5. I get to drive to school tomorrow.
    6. My dad and I were actually tolerant of each other today
    7. Jamis wedding is next weekend o_0
    8. Merker and I get to go shopping for Jamis wedding next week.
    9. I got my bonus check! WHOO HOO!
    10. The last thing Tim said to me on the phone today was: "I miss you."

    *sigh* being grounded sucks.
    -kelsey

    Current Mood: eh.
    Current Music: ANDREW.
    Sunday, September 21st, 2003
    9:54 pm
    Hung out all day at the Mesicks. Well actually I hung out with Paige for a while before we went over there. we ate ham and cheese sandwiches. I love his new family, they always have super good food. THEN we went over to the mesicks, Sam is cool. Frank Lych and Kristen came over too. Frank is seriously one of my new favorite people. Last night at the show he proceeded to hang on me for like 20 minutes telling me how he and Tim are brothers, and he gave me 2$. Hes just a badass. Anyway, I miss Tim. Thats the last time I'll say it, okay guys? Maybe not. But still, I miss him, and hes coming home in like 5 days. 0_o hahaha. That little face thing dosent really go- but Merker andI were just talking about how much we missed having Kate in our lives. and those faces remind me of her. 0_o 0_o... haha. I love em. Anyway. That was my night. Im outta her, I need to go do Psych, do the dishes, eat a cookie and call tim, not necisarily in that order.
    -Kelsey

    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: Offspring from upstairs where my brother is blasting it.
    12:36 am
    Wow. More time to write now. Tonight was very fun. I love Neal so bad. Hes the only reason I went to the show. And I was not disapointed by his presence. I wish I could spend more time with him, he actually makes me happy when hes around. Tyler kind of depresses me, Paul really depresses me, and pisses me off, and... thats it. Those are my juniors. But it was really nice to see them anyway. I miss the constant dick jokes. Serisouly. Theres no one around now thats like them, its sad. Bailly always yells at paul for being "a walking dick joke" but thats Paul, thats the guy Ive know since 8th grade, and now hes not him anymore. I dont know, I hate it. I hate how he changes for her, and she still isnt happy. But fuck it (we're fuckin chug-a-luggin)
    Other than them the show sucked, its sad when I can feel myself getting older, like I actually felt like an upper classman to the whole show. It sucked. But after the juniors left, Matt and i decided to take off. Paige was drunk and puking and passing out. What a fucker. Seriously, he pisses me off more than anyone. Hes the most obnoxious drunk ever. Not to mention. Nothing. Just nothing. Leah was drunk and I was scared for her, I hope Kristen took care of everything. Im sure she did. Frank Lynch was there, he is one funny motherfucker I'll tell ya whhhat. He told me stories about Tim, and was awesome. It was sweet because he was like "arent you Tims 'friend'"? I have no idea how he knew anything about Tim and I... but whatev. Then he gave me 2$ and was a badass.
    Matt and I ended up going to 4th Coast, what else would we do? We talked a little, and he made me feel somewhat better. I still miss him. Its funny how hanging out with him dosent make me stop missing him. I dont even know what it is. Its wierd- I think its just some mental thing. fucking annoying. Then we went to the play ground- where we always are too. Sam (Mesick) called me. Cha- wierd/ cool. I thought he was Tim at 1st... he just wanted to know if there was a show. Which I told him was probably over/not worth it. Speaking of Tim I should call him. I will tomorrow. I think Im getting my CD player put in tomorrow, EXCITED. Although it conflicts with the float meeting. Fuck it, my shits more important. BUT, nighty night time.
    -Kelsey

    Current Mood: exhausted
    Current Music: Compare and Contrast *BY* Bright eyes
    Saturday, September 20th, 2003
    6:14 pm
    Cheezus
    Nuts Nuts Nuts. Corde gots black nuts. Haha, I havents written in here is so long. But my grandparents are upstairs and I need to go hang out with them. SO I'll just make an outline of my life:

    - I miss Tim- Mucho Grande
    - I miss Matt as well. But Im hanging out with him tonight, so all should be well
    - I get to see Neal tonight, that will be the best part. Because I love/miss him alot.
    - Brooke spread some cool rumors about me last night. Anyone who dosent know, I was not driving drunk last night. But thanks for playing. Actually I wasnt drinking at all, but I was driving, so I guess to rumor is 1/2 true. Im not THAT big of an asshole. Jesus.
    - Tonight sould be fab- Yay.

    -Kelsey

    Current Mood: chipper
    Current Music: green pees
    Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
    8:58 pm
    Tis all good.
    So today has been good. I decided that tomorrow Kalen, Merker, Possibly Brooke, HIllard and I are going on on the town. And by that I mean Kalen and I decided that PEEPS are really good today in Franch class, and decided to go find some after school. THen Merker and I are going to Target to get Jami a wedding present, and Hopefully Brooke will come (cum) because I miss her an uber lot. Then we will maybe go to the mall, if I get the balls to drive. CHECK TOMORROW! Yay. Anyway, today I got home and decided that I needed to pass some time so I laid down to take a little nap, as soon as I shut my eyes, my cell rings, and its Tim... we talked for a while and decided that we were going to a movie Saturday, when we're both not busy, or rather I decided that we were going. :-D yay. anyway. Back to the more important stuff.

    Things that really piss me off:
    1. Ashtynn, what the hell? How can she just ditch us after such a long time. Well i guess not me because shes only liked me for like 2 years, but everyone else, what the fucking shit? Its like now that shes got TJ she dosent need anybody else? No correction, sorry, now that shes got TJ she dosent need anybody that TJ woulnt get along with. AKA us, but Carey Jetski and Molly Hamre are alright. Fuck that. Seriously, today she said Hi to me for the 1st time almost since school started, seriously Ive talked to her MAYBE 5 since the 1st day of school.

    2. That smelly girl the fake me that has a locker next to us, she always makes me move when Im standing by her locker- THE NERVE!

    3. Joey because he never calls me

    4. No job= no money=no fun= suck

    Actually the only one that really pisses me off at the moment is #1, but I had to put the other ones as kind of a cover, you know? (cover blown)

    Well that is my rant for the night, night guys.
    -kelsey

    Current Mood: aggravated
    Current Music: Cry baby Cry
    Tuesday, September 9th, 2003
    9:47 pm
    Cell Phone
    PS: to any of you that dont know yet, I have my Cell back.
    #:436:0913
    Call me.
    9:34 pm
    Im the only one left
    So now Im the only one left on blurty eh? Maybe I'll change to Livejournal sometime? I dont know, anyway- so was grape fest sweet. Or was it sweet- cause it was. Given that I had to work my whole life away, the after parties were still awesome. And by after parties I mean friday night at the Mesicks rawked my socks. But what can you do? Then Sunday night was bad ass too- but then I got into trouble. But it was all worth it. Tomorrow Im supposed to go bowling with Kloote, Hillard, and Klootes retarded neighbor- which I just remembered Im like fake grounded so I cant. Suck. But I do think I can still take Merker to get Jami a wedding present Thursday, and Kim a b-day present, and me an end of job spend your whole last pay check present. YAY. haha. Anyway, I havent talked to Tim at all, thus making me very sad for most of the night. I really had the urge to call him every 3seconds- but I didnt know what I would say "Hi, Im grounded, so we cant do anything- Im sorry Im "a 12yr old" (thanks Kim Dennis) so this sucks. But I do wonder how his new job went. But according to Paige who was over there since after school till 8:30, he and Joe werent even home then. So that made me feel alot better- as in he wasnt home, not he just didnt want tocall me. But he leaves tomorrow until Friday/Saturday :-(. WHy do you care? Dont know. BUT anyway, back to me not being retarded. BIG BLOW OUT HALLOWEEN/KELSEYS 17th BDAY PARTY on halloween, or the 1st. DOnt really know which yet. And I know its like 2 months away. But while I wasnt paying attention in Pierces class, I thought of this idea, and decided that it was something i could get excited about. so- Yay! Anyway- I really should go do some Homework. Uhg. I wish Tim would call me. Damnit. He better not be dead or I'll be super pissed! and by pissed I mean sad. WHY WASNT HE HOME. SHutting up now.
    -kelsey

    Current Mood: worried
    Current Music: A school Boys Charm *By* American Analog Set
    Thursday, September 4th, 2003
    6:11 pm
    Pointless
    hahaha. Yay. Okya, so right now Im ordering somer eally cool boots/ putting off cleaning my room or doing anything productive. Speaking of being unproductive, I figured it was a good waste of time to write in here. So today after school I came home to find Tim Mesick in my neigbors yard. YAY! That kid is sooo- nice? cute? something... and I was uber happy to see him- as per usual. I guess he got a job today. Good. Anyway. thats all i wanted to say right now. I dont know why exactly that deserved its own entry. But it did.

    Current Mood: bouncy
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