miss leelee's Blurty

( here i go again )

I found this in my journal from over the summer. I had a total Carrie Bradshaw moment and I think I'm really cool because of it so i'm posting it:

I think no one is in control of relationships. The reason we do/say the things we do/say is all based on how the other person i going to react. Adn with them doing the same thing, basically you're giving yourself over to the other person, but trying ot remain in control of yoursel fand predict the outcome so as to not get hurt. All the while it's innevitable. You get hurt in relationships. It's a given. So why do people subject themselves to that kind of torture? It's sadistic, really. If there were a warning label on a toy that said "you will get hurt if you play with it" would you play with it? Probably not. Are we just that romantic to puto ur whole well being on the line just at the off chance that he might be the one? And by off chance i mean, how many guys have i dated? and how many have been "the one"? OFF chance. And even if they are teh one, you are still going to get hurt at some point.

What is so wrong with our own company that we repeatedly hurt ourselves just so we don't have to be by ourselves? I'm a pretty entertaining person, but I definitly don't want my only company to be myself for the rest of my life.

And when did dating become such an art? When did the notion of a soul mate come to be? After all, without the soul mate theory, there would be no point in dating, beacuse we would just marry anyone. If there's no chance of me finding someone I'm completely perfect for, then sign me up on a waiting list to marry the next available guy, because without the idea of Mr. Perfect anyone will do. So there would be no point in dating (aka self mutilation), because who cares who you marry.

But then again, I think that once we're married, we just convince ourselves that the hubby is in fact Mr. Perfect because we can't imagine anyone else playing the husband role to us. Or perhaps it's because if he's not Mr. Perfect then we screwed up once again, but we won't admit it because all that means is more heartbreak.