Minnie McGonagall's journal

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Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
3:33 pm
It's been bloody well too long since I've updated here, mostly because every time I sit down, something comes up that I CAN'T ignore. Between my teachers adopting children, keeping up-to-date around the school, the upcoming wedding (an utter nightmare), and other matters which I do not feel free to discuss. Really, prattling on about things which are alternately official business and private matters...

Severus, really, I did my best.

Days keep blurring when I stop paying attention, and then one day I wake up as a cat with a very suspicious goblet sitting next to my bed. I suppose I should consider myself glad that people around here are trying to keep me from going crazy, but...

Well, I certainly understand how Albus managed to lose sight of what we believed to be very important matters. It's impossible to remember everything...

For some reason, Sibyl has decided to start sending me my daily horoscope by owl; she claims it is to 'enlighten me to the possibilities and dangers of each dawning day'. I think she's starting to figure that no one listens to her...

What I wouldn't give for a classical Divinations teacher whose gift worked even half the time. Two predictions out of thousands is not a good average.

However, I have discovered several wonderful tricks for getting paperwork done. First, I can foist this stuff off on anyone by claiming it's in their job description. And I have been getting rather broad about that point. Secondly, there are a lot less crises that absolutely require my attention when I am not to be found by any except Mrs. Norris, Filch, and a certain Messieurs Moony and Padfoot. You know, Sirius, if it weren't clearly off-topic for a Transfiguration class, I'd tell you to teach your students some of the magic that went into the Marauders Map. It's quite a lovely bit of magic. Of course, that's assuming you actually know how it works...

Maybe you should offer a supplementary class...extra credit for Charms or something.

No! Bad Minnie! Do NOT make more work for yourself!

All right, I seem to have devoured all of my free time, so until next time...adieu.


current mood: drained

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Wednesday, August 20th, 2003
9:41 am - Thank You to Whom?
Well, I woke up this morning (as a human, thankfully. I spent several hours cavorting with Moonpaddy yesterday, so that might have helped) to find that someone had broken into my office. No, don't get worried. My office is now inhabited by a white ferret named Wyrm. He's an adorable little thing, but has an aggravating tendency to vanish under my desk. I'm starting to think that the rules about allowable pets are going to need a severe revision. For a school where only cats, owls, and frogs are allowed, we have quite a few prohibited animals (not including the animagi) about.

I have slowly been catching up with my work (with a little help from the faculty), and am getting less and less stress. However, there are still problems. For example, Sibyl has turned all of her blank accident reports filled in for the following year. It seems that Severus' dungeon will be the site of a number of horrible disasters, and that there will be a rather horrifying incident at the opening feast.

Any bets as to which of those predictions will come true?

So I have to tell Sibyl that the accident reports are to be filled out when the accident happens, not before. And I have convince Firenze that he has to fill out some paperwork.

Plus, there's a wedding that someone needs to start telling me about, getting Albus to cough up the location of the Sorting Hat, and a hundred other things I need to get done before the start of the year. I, however, am going to go watch some Quidditch. I certainly enjoy watching it, but as Filius knows, I've had traumatic experience on the Quidditch pitch.

On that note, tata!

current mood: chipper
current music: Some Muggle station...

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Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
9:08 am - Two Weeks
Two weeks to go, and I barely have any time to think. The house-elves keep badgering me about the Feast; they're worried that someone in the school will be...I don't know, someone who doesn't eat meat, vegetables, bread, fats, oils, and I kept trying to tell them that someone like that would probably be dead anyway, at which point...

Everyone's been helping out with the work, so that's been lovely. But there's still far too many things that only the Headmistress can handle. Maybe I should just abscond and move to Ireland. That'd show them.

No, I'm not retiring. I'll wait until after my first year. But I am showing a very distressing tendency to wake up as a cat. Is it possible that Mittens feels that I'm too stressed? Hermione, do you have any research of that type on Animagi? I'd love to see it. And Molly, are we still on for today? If we are, just track me down and drag me away from whatever I'm doing. I'm sure it'll be fine.

current mood: anxious
current music: "Flight of the Bumblebee" Ironic...

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Saturday, August 16th, 2003
11:27 am - My Head...
I got home at three in the morning this morning, ready for sleep before I had to get back up the next day. And just as I was falling asleep, I heard the loudest noise I have ever heard a bug make. There was some sort of insect sitting on the outside of my window chirping. I tried Silencing Charms, Deafening Charms, even a Banishing spell, and all I accomplished was turning my chamber a hideous shade of pastel orange. Yes, it is a bad idea to try and cast magic when drunk.

In any case, after a while, I couldn't stand it. I did get to sleep, and I won't tell you how, except that cats really are one of nature's hunters.

And that I have a horrible case of morning breath.

Shut up; I've seen Mr. Black nose people in the crotch as a dog.

Well, really just one person. Which I suppose is perfectly acceptable. In any case, I've decided I need to share some things with you all. First, of course, is something I've never really had a reason to share. But I can't have people going around the castle calling a tabby cat 'Minerva'. It's ridiculous. As far as I know, there's only one name I can force the cat in me to respond to, and that's 'Mittens'. Don't laugh. Some little American girl I met twenty years ago called us that, and it stuck. Dogs may be loud, but at least they're more flexible.

And secondly, I really need to get a pet. You know, something I can talk to when I'm feeling like killing someone. I'm thinking that I need some sort of rodent...perhaps a white ferret? Perhaps that would deter frequent visits from what could very well become my 'bete noire'.

Bah. I need to sleep this off.

current mood: hungover
current music: None

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Friday, August 15th, 2003
9:22 am - Meeting the Governer
As you may have heard already, I am likely to be in a less than forgiving mood. Mr. Malfoy has made several suggestions to changing the school. Luckily, he has neither his father's charm nor power, so I feel that there is little chance of his opinions influencing the other governers. Therefore, I see no reason to worry about him. Ginny, if you lose a single communique from him to me, I won't let you fill out the Infirmary reports when school starts.

And I had to get a drink because while I don't need to worry about him, he is a ridiculous prat who ought to be kept far away from any other 'human being'.

And Mr. Malfoy, while I completely understand your 'concerns' about our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, I would like to see you produce someone with Mr. Lupin's qualifications within the next fifteen days.

Oh, and that reminds me. Severus, Sirius, Remus, I've sent out a memo about this, but I might as well tell you twice. Over the next two weeks, I'll try and set up a system for all of the teachers to fill out certain forms. House heads will be dealing with Infirmary and discipline reports from their own houses, and classroom teachers will be helping me with reports, marks, and scheduling. No one in this castle will handle the workload I had to, even though I'm sure Filius could handle it.

Fifteen days, and still too much to be done. I know I'll be fine, but I'm just waiting for something to happen that'll throw everything off.

current mood: blah
current music: 'Facade'

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Sunday, August 10th, 2003
7:22 am - Work, Work, Work

Who the devil crept up and sprung all this work on me? And why didn't anyone remind me that teaching and running a school is too bloody difficult for anyone to handle? RRRG!!

-deep breath-

Oi, I swear, I'm beginning to think I either need to drink myself under the table or actually find someone willing to do all of my paperwork...

I don't suppose any of you are mascocists, are you? It pays very well.

Oh, who am I kidding. I'll just quietly go mad, and go down in history as the Headmistress who didn't last until her first year of running the school.

And George, if you can make a quill that can fill out paperwork correctly, I'll bloody well give you a plaque! Because I've quickly learned that in order to survive as headmistress, you must discover a way to dump your busy work on to someone else.

Molly, please drag me out of here! Just come by one day and kidnap me; I'm sure it'll do me good.

-one hour later

Stupid bloody...Sibyll just dropped by with several concerns about the upcoming year; Albus told me she predicts dire fates for all of us at the beginning of each year, but I didn't realize how much was going to go wrong. I'm set to die three times (once by flu, once by bad blood pudding [I don't even like blood pudding], and once by accidental fall from twelveth storey window), and after all that, I'm due for a near-death experience involving a Chimaera.

I should fire that woman and re-hire her as a creative writing teacher.

Oh, look at the time. I've got seventy things to get done today (seventy-two, now that some unpleasant chores have been brought to my attention. Bleh!), and I have to get to work.


current mood: exhausted
current music: "At the End of the Day" I relate with those French peasants

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Thursday, August 7th, 2003
8:03 am - Bloody Paperwork
Well, I once again find myself with free time, so I will take the opportunity to write in this again. I cannot imagine exactly how Albus ever was able to do all of this before the year started, except for the fact that I know he delegated half of it to me! Lousy old...

Anyway, I feel terrible that I haven't been keeping up. However, there really is far too much for me to be doing this time of year. But I feel that there will then be far too much to do in September, and October, and etcetera. Damn; I need a life. Maybe I should do what Albus did, and just give all of the work to Professor Flitwick...unfortunately, I don't trust anyone else to do this. And it's made worse by the fact that Albus keeps calling me from my office with all sorts of hare-brained ideas about how to enhance the educational system. I've already spent three hours convincing him why his last idea wouldn't work. I won't give you details, except to say that its success depends entirely on the Gryffindors cooperating with the Slytherins. By Merlin, he's more of a meddler now then when he was alive!

And then there's all this bloody paperwork. I have half a mind to set it on fire and be done with it, except that doing that would only create more work. And Severus Snape, don't you dare quit! If I have to find a replacement before September, I'll go mad.

Congratulations on far too many things for me to keep track of, all. Molly, I think we really ought to meet up some day before I go nutters from a lack of human contact. Ergh...and now my paperwork calls. If anyone knows a spell to get paperwork done, call me.

...I need a competent secretary.

And a renewal to my subscription to the Quiddler. But that is an entirely different point.

And if anyone wants to see me, well, you'll need to swing by Ireland. I'm staying at the Old Rectory in Leitrim; ask for Minnie. And if anyone tries to get me drunk on sherry, I'm turning them into a mouse.

And eating them.


current mood: stressed
current music: Music? At a time like this? Ha!

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Monday, July 28th, 2003
9:52 pm - Hellish Depths of Maine
I have not been near a computer for the past weekend. Someone *cough*Albus*cough* convinced me that it would be a good idea to go camping the good-old fashioned 'Muggle' way. In America, where there are forests that stretch beyond the range of the eyes. I hope that you realize that Albus himself did not go camping.

I ended up in a campsite next to, well, some very excitable Muggles. Between the drinking and the laughing and the huge meals between what looked like seventeen sites, I would have been bad enough, not sleeping.

But it rained.

And rained.

And you can't possibly explain an 'Impervius' charm to thirty-five Muggles who are dressed in ponchos and covered in tarps. Thankfully, someone lent me somthing called Gore-Tex. I want to know why we haven't come up with anything this foolproof yet. I spilt half a bottle of...water-on my back, and I didn't even notice for ten minutes. I have not had a bath in three days, and I need to shave my legs (if you all can sit here discussing your sex-lives with impunity, I can talk about my hygeine habits. So there!).

Good bye. And if you've tried me to talk to you, and I haven't, try again, directly, by e-mail. I don't have time to read all of your comments. I am finally taking a revolutionary step in thaumatological education, and making sure that the Slytherins share no classes with the Gryffindors (I call it the 'Potter-Black Discipline Method').


-Professor McGonagalll

current mood: irate
current music: The Entire Soundtrack of 'Moulin Rouge'

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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
8:29 am - Faith...
I imagine that some of you are disbelieving, shocked, or perhaps overjoyed at the so-called reappearance of Sirius. I know for certain that if Alastor is reading this, he his absolutely certain that it is all a terrible trick by Death-Eaters trying to take revenge upon us all.

I would dispute that.

I will not give the details of my own evidence, but...I have little doubt that the man Remus has sought out is Sirius Black. Some things...some things are difficult to pretend.

Remus, if you are reading this, please bring him home. I believe he will need many friends by his side, given what he has been through. I would advise, however, that you not let Miss Luna Lovegood speak to him; she's only bound to confuse matters. And if the Ministry starts poking around, tell them to bugger off until Sirius has got his bearings back. I will not have his recovery hampered by tabloid-chasers and bureaucrats sniffing around like Sirius is a dog in heat.

Oh, and Sirius? I imagine if you think too much about that cat you remember, you might realize you and I have a great deal more in common than you think ;)

~Minnie McGonagall

PS-Harry, please write and tell me how you've been doing. I am certainly glad your work as an Auror seems to be going well, but I do still like to hear from former students.

current mood: jubilant
current music: "I Will Survive" Don't laugh, *especially* you, Mr. Black

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Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003
8:14 am - I Dare Not Hope...
Well, I had hoped for a quiet summer, but it seems that I've not had that in the cards since the 1970's. One of my old students, who, through the machinations and twistings of fate, had
a)been accused of murder
b)been innocent of said murder
c)been imprisoned for twelve years in Azkaban
d)escaped in the form of a dog
e)tried to exact revenge on the man who had framed him and
f)fell through the f'ing veil in the Room of Death (could someone tell me why anyone in their right mind would keep something like that lying around?)

has apparently shown up in America, using a livejournal to look for memories. It worries me, because everyone is getting far too excited. Much of what has been said so far is not exclusive knowledge, especially given the nature of some of his enemies. I am advising severe caution, and hope that someone with more authority than I will be able to wrest the details of the investigation away from those who have emotional involvement in the situation. As much as I would like it to be Mr. Black, I dare not hope...

~Minerva McGonagall

current mood: confused
current music: "Fire and Rain" James Taylor

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