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WingsofIn2ition's Journal

24th October, 2004. 9:17 pm. stems of jealousy

Lately there has just been something going on with me that I dont understand. This chica that I chill with Megin. Sweetest girl in the world, but something about her I dont trust. I cant figure it out why though. I mean, she has had a past of not being super trustworthy and that may be a reason for someone to feel uneasy about someone, but thats not my nature. I normally am all about turn-arounds, second chances, things like that, everyones human, everyone makes mistakes. But, then..I dont know what my distrust is. I love her, I think that she is the sweetest girl in the world..but something is wrong and I cannot put my finger on it. Maybe because she is new to our "clique" (such a horrible word) of friends.Maybe. Maybe, though, I think because she is beautiful. I mean, she is drop dead beautiful. She is a spanish and asian mix and it is absolutly beautiful. I think that I find myself nervous around her because her past history has been other peoples boyfriends, and

24th October, 2004. 9:41 pm.

Today, sunday. My most favorite day to sit around and relish in myself. Make-up less, Raw, the way my boyfriend most prefers but never seems to see. The perfect beginning to a week. Relaxed in my favorite Vicki Secret Pants. I love it. It makes me wonder why I bother getting dressed all week in the first place. Partially for the keeping up the appreciation sake of my pjs. I love them. Sometimes, when I wake up early enough and I see the beauty in everyone I wonder why everyone is always in a rush to change it, but never just sit and embrace. My boyfriend can never seem to appreciate his belly if he is having an "off" week. Work Work Work. Get that belly together, when in all reality, I could care less either way. When does anyone get a chance to just appreciate themselves. I always take time to appreciate everyone, but never me. I never think about the work that I do. Most people dont look at themselves in that kind of light. I think that in dawn of this perfectly rainy sunday people should do just that. Take some time out and think about how hard they work. It really feels good to eat chocolate and not think about it. Just once. To keep that lipstick off. It's so beautiful to me as people get older and they master it, that I want the youth to master it too. Before Botox, Liposuction, and Paris Hilton warp everyones minds. Relax. Embrace yourself. Before its too late and everyone is nothing but an everevolving self image that will never be quite as aesthetically beautiful as the rest. Relax. Ahh..

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