Kristin

11:15am: It's Potty Time- Fun With Haikus (Kasey)
Here's another Creative Writing homework post- hope ya'll enjoy!

Makeup on the sink,
Sharp pain shooting through my foot,
I found your hair clip.

Darkness all around,
I sit and there's a cold splash.
Who left the seat up?

Out of toilet paper,
The alternative is tissue,
Where is the plunger?

Lovely squishy socks
After trudging through the swamp
Wet towels on the floor.

I saw it moving,
Bright yellow with shades of green-
Time to clean the shower.

11:09pm: The Discovery Channel *Kristin*
This post has absolutely nothing to do with the channel on cable television. Rather, new discoveries I have made in my life lately.
1. I don't like people that much. I don't mind them all the time but "human nature" pisses me off. Why can't human nature bring good things to my life? All it does it mess it up. Blah.
2. Candy canes that are not peppermint should not be made. It confuses me.
3. Once you clean your room, you deside you want to play "dress up" and mess it all up again.
4. Laundry is a never ending cycle. Even if I do all of my laundry...the clothes I am wearing are not clean. I might begin doing laundry in the nude...
5. Music is the best medicine.
6. My mom and dad can always make things better.
7. You can feel all alone in a room full of people.
8. The Christmas spirit is a load of crap that people just use as an excuse to be nice every once in a while.
9. Flannel sheets are a conspiracy. They are so soft they make you stay in bed too long.
10. When the only thing you want to do is go to sleep you can't and when the only thing you want to do is stay awake...you can't. It is a dirty little trick. Blah.

12:12pm: Hair Raising Adventures... (Kasey)
I have this guy friend, whose name shall remain anonymous to protect his dignity, that refuses to shave his uhm hmmm... AREA. Now, this doesn't affect me directly, since, he is merely a friend... but his refusal to be clean cut reminds me of guys I have dated in the past that were completely oblivious to the courtesy of staying hair free down south. In all fairness, one guy didn't even know that shaving this region was an option... which seriously makes me question my ability to choose appropriate boyfriends... I'm really without understanding as to how one could just NOT know... The way I see it, if a guy expects a girl to go exploring in his yonder regions, he should at least clear her a path... is that too much to ask?

**Disclaimer** the views expressed in this blurty do not express the views of all members who post, or all females in general... just me. Also, Dad, if you are reading this- I warned you to stay away... may you be thoroughly disgusted. :)

4:55pm: The Mystic Blue Ball... (Kasey)
Although I consider myself to be of some intelligence I am no doubt mystified by possibly one of the most simple inventions of the past decade... The Downy Ball...

12:11am: The Female "Fine" *Kristin*
Okay guys, listen up and gals, sorry but I am letting one of our secrets out. The word "fine". To some, it may sound like a normal word that could be easily replaced with "good, great, super"....NO! You thought wrong. We a girl says she is "fine" or the situation is "fine", something is not "good, great or super" rather it is not okay and she isn't happy about it.
Yeah, I know we are a complicated gender but what would be the fun in being simple? When we say "fine", it is because of one of the following reasons...
a) we don't have a reason to be upset we just are and we know we hold no chance in winning the argument.
b) we are mad...we don't want to talk about it right at that moment but be ready because we will be holding it in until just the right time.
c) we are mad. we don't want you to know. so, we don't tell you. we're so smart!
d) any other reason that we feel necessary b/c we are female...we can do that!
So next time a female tells you they are "fine" think twice before dismissing it as a positive response.

10:15am: Reach Out and Racer Touch Someone (Kasey)

12:38pm: I told you I'm addicted...*kris*
So...it is true. I am addicted to online quizzes...even if they are true or not. I like them. Seems like I rely on them to tell me who I am, since I apparently don't know yet but I should find out in 2 years..3 hours..27 minutes..and 2.5 seconds. yeah, i'm a smartass...here is one of the many i took today.

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

9:23am: I Got the Itch... (Kasey)
When two people start dating seriously, it is inevitable that interaction with each other's parents is eventually going to occur. But why exactly is this absolutely necessary in life? If the parents of the person I am with do not approve of me, does this mean I am going to have the trecherous prefix of "ex" inserted before my label of girlfriend? And how does one know when the time is right to actually meet the parental units? Is it when you are confident that both of you are completely commited to one another? And when it comes down to commitment, how soon is too soon?

As I am sitting here pondering the speed at which my relationship with that other guy is flying (or plumetting, depending upon how you look at things) I am starting to feel a little uneasy. I can't help but think back to that Sex and the City episode where Carrie tries on the wedding dress and breaks out into the Fear of Commitment Rash-

9:03am: AND I'M BACK IN THE GAME...*kris*
So...today is the first day back to work...in well...I can't really remember...that can't be good, huh. At least I still have work. If you have not heard...I withdrew from classes for the semester due to medical reasons. But, I am getting better and I really am starting to feel a hell of a lot better. Thanks for all the support guys. If you didn't know and had to find out on the internet...sorry. If anyone treats me one degree different I will kick your ass!! I'm serious...I'm crazy...I'll do it. I really am okay. Also, thanks to my roomies for being so sweet to not tell me that I had the biggest black eyes ever!! You guys are great. The attempt of make up to cover it up was made this morning only to fail...but hey...looks like I've had a rough time...haha... Gives me character.
In other more important news, I am going home. That's right!! Salem, here I come. Hope you are ready for me!! I am leaving today to go home to see the parents and family. I am soooooo excited. I have not been home since the 4th of July. I have not seen my daddy since August. I kinda miss 'em all. PLUS, I am the princess of the Rose castle and I cannot wait to be back. My dad is going to freak about my new straight...red..hair. Should result in an interesting conversation.
Everyone be safe. Have some kickass fun!!

P.S. Home = no smoking...4 days...without...I might be cured!

9:18am: Hello, my name is Kasey, and I am a Tanoholic...
It started out like any other weekday- go to work, go to class, do homework, watch t.v... and under normal circumstances "take a nap" would follow... but not on this day. Instead, I went to pay my dealer, Debbie, a little visit at Sunstar Tanning Center.

12:04am: *Beer Goggles* Kristin
Beer goggles...they are the foundation of the majority of college students "most embarrassing moments". You know what I'm talking about...it's even happened to you. You hook up with a person of the opposite sex because they look good to you that night...and then when you wake up...you would rather chew your arm off then wake them up. Or my personal favorite, pretend to be asleep when they wake up and then you don't have to talk to them. Who cares if they are shaking you profusely and screaming in your ear. You are "asleep" and you will not wake up until they are gone.
Another drunken personal favorite is when someone can't remember their new "friend's" name and in place of it they say "baby" or "darlin'" a lot. Cracks me up. Sometimes I wonder if they ever took the time in the first place to ask for their name or they just thought "hey they look lickable" and go get 'em. Although, I would much rather hear baby or darlin as opposed to Kasey's favorite phrase..."what's your name again?"
There is a website where you can look a pictures and rate them on how many beers you would have to drink before they were attractive. I find it stop worthy so...here ya go. www.howmanywouldittake.com.



Notice: If you have some time available take a look at the lyrics or listen to the song- Smash Mouth - Beer Goggles.

9:42am: (Kasey)
I know I haven't posted in quite some time, but when one decides to become scholastically motivated, one has less time for enjoyable activities. This post is actually a result of my homework assignment for my creative writing class... I just competed it; it's a list poem. Enjoy :)

Office Space

Paperclips,
Whiteout, computer chips,
Tissues,
Co-workers with issues,
Trashcan,
Rolling chair, ceiling fan,
Dying plant, I am
Feeling like a slave ant.
Typewriter,
Scotch tape, Highlighter.
Slow clock, ticking in
My office block,
Florescent lighting,
Ringing phone, message writing,
Friday, payday,
Out the door, no delay.

2:30am: *TOO MUCH TIME* kristin
Okay, so I have acquired way too much free time. I would like a hobby or something to keep myself entertained and away from complete boredom. If you have any ideas...you can pass them my way. Until then, I will have the cleanest room in the entire ghetto. Seriously, I had one night of nothing and I have nearly driven myself insane. Right now since I have so much free time I seem to be seeking more attention from people and I already was an attention whore so one can only imagine how bad this could get... Anyway, I need something productive. something fun. something interesting. something. anything. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2:04am: *kristin*
blah, blah, blah....yadda yadda yadda. i wish i could sleep. note to self. never get into a serious conversation and then leave without being heard. the worst of it...im exhausted. i want sleep. and now my cute little head is playing the whole situation over and over....it is great to be a college girl....i'm a dork. get me a beer....no wait, no booze...that would be considered booze. damn the luck. well the stars are beautiful tonight. i hope you got a chance to enjoy them. i did.

3:59am: Girls' Night Out *Kristin*
Okay...so here we are getting ready to go bar hopping in the good ol town of Murray. We were looking like perfect angels getting ready for Girls' Night Out plus Fitch and Fitch's camera.



Here I am after the first bar...only a few beers down.



There was a bar in between this picture but no one sober took any of those...this is where it gets interesting. We were talking about my breasts...they are big. I know it. You know it. So I'm showing them off.



I'm sure I'm making a drunken dial right now. I can't seem to go one night without at least five.



No drinks yet, just chips...Rebecca thinks she is going to be cool and put chips down my shirt...and then needed to salt her chips. THEN we needed sugar to top it all off.



Here comes our drinks...weeee!!! And I do realize the harm a good photoshop could do to these pictures!




AND THAT WAS GIRLS' NIGHT OUT!!! with Fitch...and Fitch's camera. Hope you enjoyed the viewing!

10:02am: Nine West Side Story (Kasey)
Everyone knows that I am probably the most accident prone person that ever graced (irony at its finest, right there folks) the face of the earth, therefore what happened to me Saturday night / Sunday morning is really nothing unexpected. It is just really unfortunate that everytime I sit down, I am reminded of my self destructive tendencies.

Kristin and I had returned from a party just in time to instigate a trip to the Huddle House with a few of our neighbors and friends at approximately 1:30 Sunday morning. There were six of us inclusive of only one sober driver which meant we could either a) walk or b) wedge six people into a Honda Civic. Obviously we didn't walk because that would leave absolutely no room for humor in this post. We opted for the clown car mode of transportation.

Emily's car, much like any other college woman's car, was filled with necessities that can do nothing but obstruct its ability to hold maximum capacity plus one (i.e. clothes, books, shoes...) After strategically contorting our bodies, we managed to get both doors closed. Once we arrived in the parking lot, it was a race to see who would be the first to escape. Since my abnormally long legs were somehow tangled in a seatbelt, I was the last to go. Little did I know, the seatbelt would be an accessory to attempted murder. Drunk and starving, I began to emerge from the back seat; both of my legs were free from the car, yet somehow the rest of my body remained. I lost my balance (no shock there) and reached for the seatbelt for support- none was given, therefore with all of my body weight (which is more than I would like to discuss) I fell into the floor board. Now this is where it gets interesting- there to greet my ass as I landed was the deadly side of a high heeled Nine West shoe. I am now the proud owner of a bruise the size, and oddly enough the shape, of Arkansas on my left butt cheek. Welcome to the Natural State.

3:53am: When I should be sleeping...this is what I am thinking... *Kris*
This post is the result of a conversation between Candice and I a while back...somehow, someway...it came back to mind tonight.

What type of music listener are you while riding in the car? There are several types and I hope I can remember them all but I do believe that whatever type of listener you are reflects on your personality.
*Do you listen to cd's? burnt or bought...you know you like it. you play it over and over and over and you are comfortable with it.
*Do you listen to various radio stations bouncing back and forth between songs? You hear a good song, you like it, you listen to it, the next one isn't one you want...so you search until you are satisfied with another song.
*Do you listen to one radio station knowing that eventually they will play a song you like? Even if you aren't happy with the selection at the moment you have faith in the DJ and soon enough you will be happy with what is playing.
*Do you constantly change the station? Sometimes you are happy with what is on, but you always think there is something better playing on another station. You are used to listening to half of songs because you are going through every station to see if there is the chance of something more appealing to listen to at the moment.
*Do you listen to nothing or turn the radio where you can barely hear it? You sit in your car and think. This is your time to get away from life and figure things out for a minute. You do not need the distraction of music.
Can you see how this could be a direct correlation to one's personality? I sure as hell do...I know people that do each of the above and they deal with everyday life just as they deal with their radio stations. I think sometimes I go through moods...and I do each one of the above..but there is always a constant. I am the radio listener that listens to one song then if I don't like the next song, I change. A long time ago, I used to be a constant changer but since then something has changed and along with my personality from back in the day, I changed my radio listener personality. Which one are you? Do you think that you reflect your car radio listening personality?

9:16am: I feel charming, oh so charming... it's alarming how charming I feel! (Kasey)
Any time I start to feel the slightest bit unpretty, all I have to do is check my e-mail. This summer Kristin and I got bored so we put our pics on hotornot.com. As a result of this random act of boredom, I get e-mail twice a day with links directing me to all of the unwashed miscreants that wish to meet. I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did!

http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=KQAEGMB

1:01am: "I" week blues
~Kasey~

(*insert blues tune)

It's "I" Week again girls

(*insert blues tune)

Don't know what to do

(*insert blues tune)

I'm missin the penis

(*insert blues tune)

And the Malibu too

(*insert blues tune)

And it's sooooo hard, livin' the no boys no booze blues....

(*insert blues tune)

6:02pm: *WARNING* (kristin)
After a night of a drunken fiasco, my roommate, Bridget, sends me this... Is it possible she is trying to tell me something?

New Warning Labels

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties
of alcohol containers.

------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like a retard.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
think you can sing.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them
at four in the morning.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex
without spitting.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, or lower back.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create
the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster,
and better looking than most people.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think.... people are laughing ..... WITH you.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
------------------------------------------
WARNING: the crumpsumpten of alcahol may Mack you
tink you can tipe real gode.

8:44am: A post about nothing (KaSeY)
So, there was this guy with this stuff and he went to that place and he fell over that thing and hit his head and then he picked up the stuff because he dropped it and he started walking until he wasn't in that place anymore and he got hungry so he decided to eat the stuff he had, which wasn't good because that stuff wasn't exactly meant to be devoured without chocolate milk. So next time you are in that place with that stuff and you fall and hit your head and you walk until you are not in that place anymore and you get hungry and decide to eat that stuff that you have, make sure you have chocolate milk... OH! And dental floss...

12:10am: Mama's rules *Kristin*
Due to recent events, I have been craving a MRS degree. So with the help of my roommate Mama Lee, I will graduate with such a degree. She is going to teach me how to cook and the other requirements for this degree. Here are the beginning rules...

1. Up with heaven, down with hell.
This pertains to when someone has a hurt ankle and has to walk up stairs.
2. You get what you pay for when it comes to junkfood.
Don't buy the cheaper version of junkfood because it just isn't as good.
3. Learn his favorites.
Learn his favorite of everything. Song, dress, movie, food, sexual position...everything. This will take time so don't get frustrated.
4. Learn his moods.
When he is in those moods...use the favorites you have learned.
5. Don't try to fix him, support him.
This is one of the hardest to understand. Try your best.
6. Always be completely honest.
It will always work to your advantage.
7. Don't try to understand men, try to understand your man.
This is where most men mess up. They try to understand woman as a whole not just their one woman.
8. Know your worth, so he will never forget.
A study said that if a housemom was paid minimum wage for all of her chores she does she would make $56,000 a year. This is more than some people make at a well paying job.
9. There is no rule better or worse than the other. All are equal and all are needed to be successful.
10. Put your relationship above everything else.
Children leave, jobs change...your marriage is forever.
11. You must remember love is not just an emotion, it is a decision you make everyday.
So everyday, you must decide to get up and love your mate.
12. To listen, means you have to shut up.
13. Just because you can out argue your man, doesn't mean you should.
Not all fights are worth winning.
14. Always keep at least two girl friends around because no matter how good the relationship is...you'll always need your girls. Just like he will always need his boys.
15. If all else fails, KEEP THE SEX GOOD.

I will be learning more rules each day and before I know it I will be a perfect wife. Won't that be awesome. Feel free to add any rules that you feel are necessary.

11:40am: If you're happy and ya know it write a post... (Kasey)
List of Things that I Love...

Warm towels right out of the dryer
The smell of fresh cut grass
Waking up and realizing I have four more hours to sleep
Finding five dollars in my coat pocket
Kisses on my forehead
Three hour phone conversations
Laughing until my face hurts
Dancing in the rain
Gettin' big ol' bear hugs (approx. 8 a day)
Clean socks
Reruns of Growing Pains
New shampoo
Buying school supplies
Watching figure skaters fall on their butts
Watching old black and white movies
Making mud pies with my neice

It has been so long since I have been this sublime- I almost don't know what to do with myself. What makes you happy?

1:57am: Movie Madness *Kristin*
Over the past two days, it has been nothing but romance in good ol C3. Gotta love it... We have watched Jerry Maguire, Down With Love, Casablanca, and my new favorite movie, Dream For An Insomniac. I had never watched it and everyone said that it was wonderful and I would love it. They were right, I did...I do.
So, if you have not heard...I had a stalker. I use it in the past tense because I am hoping that it is all over now. He had called a total of six times before I had to break the news to him. He told me that he watches us from his balcony with binoculars. He didn't find that strange. Wouldn't you find that a little creepy? Yeah, because it is. He also felt is was normal to call the next day...call three times the next day...and then three more the next. The last thing he said was, "I'll see you around." Let's hope not...he scared the shit outta me. He knew I was Kasey's roommate without either of us saying or implying...freaky stuff like that. This brings me to my point. He handed me his cell phone and said put your number in. What was I supposed to do? If I knew I would never ever ever see him again I would think it wise to give him a fake number. BUT he knew where I lived. I wouldn't want him coming over and knocking on the door. He didn't seem stable. So, using what little brain cells I had left, I wrote C3 in his phone with the apartment number. Thinking I could dodge the calls until he got the hint. He didn't get the hint. There was no chance of him receiving my cell phone number...that is precious. So, what would you do? Keep in mind, I am not going to be mean to a stranger.
If only there was a national fake number you could give to a guy with the recording saying, "I'm sorry but this is a fake number...I didn't give you my real one because I am not interested. No use embarrassing you in public so here is the truth. Sorry again for your troubles, better luck next time."
On a radio station I used to listen to back home had a fake number with a girl saying "hi, you called my cell phone so leave me a message." Of course, the girls that gave this number out never heard the guys messages. The radio station would then play these pathetic phone messages over the air. They would crack me up. I think it is a good idea. We should have one like that here. They guy that I met the other night would have left a message like this..."Hey Kristin, this is Shawn, yeah I know you are 19 and I am thirty but those are just numbers. I saw you today with my binoculars, you are looking good. My head is feeling better only took sixty-two stitches to sew it up. I'll call back five more times. Have a good day. I'll be watching you. Bye."
Maybe I am exaggerating. I sure hope so. Did I mention he is a cop. Yeah, so I have been thoroughly turned off by single guys in Murray for a while.
Off to watch, Dream For An Insomniac again...seems proper.

9:27am: Holy Crap Batman! It's a Mexican!
As every poor college student that attends Murray State University knows, yesterday was 49 cent taco day at Taco Bell, and in the grand tradition of C-3 the roommates and I were prepared to be the catilyst that caused the Murray Taco shortage.

So we're sitting in the drive-thru 3.5 seconds short of infinity, I'm contemplating rolling my head up in the passenger side window, when out of the corner of my eye I see this figure emerge from the bushes. Startled beyond belief, I exclaim through the open window, "Holy Crap Batman! It's a Mexican!" Kristin, apparently unaware that the window was down as well, continued to say, "I knew they lived in the bushes of Taco Bell!"
Then, as if on cue, two smaller versions of the bush man came trailing after- apparently they were playing basketball in the shrubbery and their ball was lodged under our car.

This just goes to show that even if you avoid Wal-Mart at all costs, you cannot escape the wrath of Mexican Sunday.

*Disclaimer*
The views expressed in this blurty post do not represent the views held by all people who are tired of getting mobbed by the Mexicans in Wal-Mart and at Taco Bell on Sundays... Just me.