| 3:46a |
I thought I was cool with losing my virginity to G. Now Im not so sure...I should treat it as something casual, but I don't think I can...I thought I could. And now it feels like I'm falling apart once again.
He can't even reply to my msgs when I ask him if he can look if my friend is okay. He shows up on pictures in Istanbul with this hot girl posing on his shoulder. And I feel the jealousy boiling up inside of me. I dont get why. I dont get it.
Sex shouldnt be a big thing. He shouldnt be a big thing. HE WASN'T
Why now...all of a sudden I can't get him out of my mind...I cut once again...
My friends found my razor in my room. They were so shocked, so extremely AHHH. I dont know what to do. They think Im fine tho and I want to keep them to think that way. Its not worth upsetting people over my bullshit.
What am I supposed to do abt G tho? I feel so helpless. I feel like I cant breath. He was 2 bars away from me. the same building. My friend is fucking getting slapped by her dad, they dont come outside for an hr, and he cant even tell me if theyre still in the building. If he can check on her. Is that too much to ask? I guess so... |