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Monday, March 3rd, 2008
| Time | Event |
| 9:27p | So yesterday my dad came back from Holland. I didnt realize how chilled out it was w/o him around. He hadnt even be back for 2hrs yet and the house was one big stresshole again, and my parents were fighting. ugh....On top of that I had a really important english oral today, worth 15% of my final english grade :| I couldn't really study with all the fighting that was going on, but my teacher said i did alright :) I'm so glad I'm done with it. I now only have my spanish oral left, my IB exams in May, and then the 30th of may we're graduating! I can't wait till all the stress is over....Everyone always talks abt how their senior year's awesome, I really havent noticed it yet.... Oh on top of the fighting yesterday, my "exboyfriend" msgs me: I miss you...I'm sorry Im drunk. ---> I MESSAGED HIM THIS A MONTH AGO wtf me: That's funny, I think I messaged u that a month ago. You have a really weird sense of humor. him: It is not my sense of humor but ur undrstandng of it that made it funny...By da way it wasnt my sense of humor but my grlfrinds that saw ur message hun...Take care...! (I'm sorry ye, but why is he tellling me abt some supp. new gf? I mean I broke up with him....) me: well then you really know how to pick a girl with a bad sense of humor him: Thats why I picked you! me: So why are you messaging me while ur with ur girlfriend? Dont u have anything better to do him: It wasnt me hun. She was playing with my phone...Anyways take care. seriously? SERIOUSLY? can't he just act grown up, and not bother me? I'm sorry that I didnt like him enough to keep on trying it with him, but that is no reason to start being so childish...It's not like he's 5 Everytime i am done with a guy, they tend to do something to make sure I cant stop thinking abt them. He is constantly spooking thru my head right now; Why did he say this, what does he mean, who wrote the msgs cuz his english is shit etc... I guess I'm doing alright with the not cutting. I've had the urge lately especially now with all the stress, but I'm trying to keep it under control. Hope everyone's doing well :) love, iensjj |
| 11:24p | ugh.... Subject: ugh.... Time: 11:19 pm. Mood: depressed. Music: Smashing Pumpkins-We Only Come Out At Night. well...it's been almost 1 year and 2 months and i feel like a "relapse" might occur. i don't know what it is...i'm just unhappy with the way things are in my life right now. when i was weening myself off of cutting, i used the rubber band trick and i eventually didn't even need to do that anymore but now i feel the urge to. it seems like there is a small distance between my boyfriend and i. i am afraid of losing him again and i keep getting upset over small things because of it. it seems like he doesn't think as highly of me as he used to. i don't even feel like i can talk to him about it. i'm so scared. on top of this, i hate college. i don't ever want to go to class. i have to force myself to. i've been skipping more than i did lat semester. i just want it to be summer. i want to listen to music all day and spend time with the people i love everyday. i just want to feel free. i want to be free. Current Mood:  depressedCurrent Music: Smashing Pumpkins-We Only Come Out At Night |
| 11:39p | i wish we had a chat. |
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