| 10:30a |
i guess i should start writing in here again.
ive made 15 cuts since wednesday,
all because of this boy.
he told me he really liked me wednesday and thats why he couldnt just have sex with me.
so i told him he needed to figure out what he wanted.
and he ended up saying that we should just be friends again because
1. its not fair to me
2. even though it makes him an asshole, he still doesnt want a gf
3. if we had a relationship he'd fuck it up
yeah, if you go into it thinking that then you will.
he was really nice about the whole thing and i could tell at school that it was affecting him too,
so why cant he just be with me.
i miss him so much..
i not only lost the perfect boy for me but i also lost my best guy friend.
i hate that ive turned back to cutting
and i hate this situation.
i dont deserve to feel like this anymore. |
| 1:09p |
Poem
Throwing up medications Pinch the skin, suck it in
They say we look better boney Magazine covers, tabloids saying,"Puke that breakfast up hunny"
Long sleeves, bandages by the dozen stinging by the touch of a hand
Voices blaring, people staring don't let it get to you sweetie they don't know you...take the phone off the hookOpen another bottle of your favorite wine
Set the record player to 33, and watch yourself drift on by death's waiting outside your threshold
Another victim in 30, so you better hurry
Press the razor against your skin, make this last one deep...Hurry up child, what are you waiting for?
Swallow more of those white pills so when you rest your head, you won't feel a thing
Monsters hide beneath your sheets you'd love it if they took you under...One more time to be used and abused before they let you go
Now go on child, lay your fragile body on the ground one last breath leaves your lips as death sets foot in your doorway
He carries you away to the hell of your dreams where the pain is more bareable than the slits on your wrists
And the whispers in your ear about how much they care... |