!5 (SaVe us from the PaIn)'s Blurty

i had an interesting night last night. well i was at anthony's b-day party. i baught him a retarted shirt which fit him so that was good i was afraid that it wouldn't lol. well anyways. so i was there for a while. i got there early at about 5 and the party didn't start until 6 but that's ok cuz everyone came early lol. well i haven't been eating =/ i'm trying not to cut but it isn't working and i hate how fat i am so i stopped eating in hopes that i'll lose weight. i've lost a little but not much. i've been running a little too so that i can do the fuckin mile run in gym class. i think it's stupid for them to make us run a mile and not have any pratice. wells wutever. i haven't eaten in 5 days. i was at anthony's party and i was playing DDR over and over and over. i was sweating alot from it and junk. well yeah. we were playing for a long time. 23 games with 5 rounds in each game. his is on ps2 by the way. well yeah so my legs hurt and i felt dizzy but i didn't want to stop. i'm always on light mode but i finally did a song on heavy mode which rocked cuz i passed it so me and JJ did that song over and over to get better at it and then i got dizzy and fell over. i got back up with intentions of playing it again but anthony casey, and dennis told me to sit down and rest for a little while. i had a minor headache so i asked anthony's mom if i could have some headache medicne. well then i rested a little and casey sat next to me. he was asking if i was ok and i said yeah i'm fine and we juss talked and junk. anthony's mom was asking me if i ate anyhing and i said yeah even though it was a lie. well then we went to sing happy birthday to anthony. i sang it in spanish, jamie sang it in russian, and lorin sang it in latin. it was weird lol. then anthony made me eat a cupcake. his mom's cup cakes are the shizz. i didn't want one though cuz i didn't want to ruin my diet thing. well then he said i have to eat something and he kept pushing me to eat and i was starving so i did. OMFG was it good. lol. well i had that and his mom offered me another one. she said that i can have as many as i want cuz she made tons but i said no thanks i'm fine. well then casey left the couch to go get icecream and anthony sat next to me. i told casey i'd save his spot and then he came in and said great job wad way to save a spot lol and i told anthony to move but he wouldn't *mad face* so then casey came over and he sat on me lol. dennis ws like uh dude isn't it supposed to be the other way around lol and then he and i said "we're weird" which is true. i'm like who cares. and so we sat with each other. it was kool. well then he got off of me after a little while and went over to the other room to go play video games. well i went to go with him and not long after i sat down anthony came in and was like we're moshing to elevader music like u always wanted to wanna join and i was like hells yeah!! lol so i joined in with dennis and anthony and then and then casey came out of the room watching us make assholes out of ourselves lol. so i said join us and he's freek like me so ofcourse he did. well he slammed into me pretty hard and i slid on the DDR pads and i fell. i smashed my head off of the tv stand and passed out for a minute. anthony's mom started freeking out. she was like "omg you're not bleeding r u" and she checked my head out. there wasn't much blood or anything. dennis and anthony helped me up cuz i couldn't reely stand up for a sec cuz my head was throbbing and i was a little dizzy. they helped me over to a chair. i was like guys i'm fin it's ok and they kept asking if i was ok and i said yeah. anthony's mom came in with a bag of ice for me to put on my head. it helped a little. after that i swear everyone was asking every few seconds if i was ok and if i was sure and i was like yeah yeah. and then casey was like i am so sorry i didn't mean to hit u that hard. and i said it's not your fault and he said technically it is and i said true and he put this sad face on which was so cute and i said no it's ok and i kissed him (finally). and we juss sat together and he kept checking ever few minutes to see if i was alright and i said yeah i'll be fine. and so then it was about 830 so we went to go sit outside cuz his dad was gunna be comming soon. well we got out there and dennis was there and he's like u sure you're gunna be ok and i said yeah i'm fine and then casey and i talked a little and sadly his dad came =( way to kill a perfect moment! well anywho i went back inside to the party to wait for my ride. then they came =( and i went to go home sadly. well on my way home i felt horrible. i may have said i was ok and junk but i wasn't. well my head was throbing and i was still dizzy and i got out of the car and went to my house and walked inside and fell to the floor. my mom came over to me and was like omg r u ok wut happened and junk cuz she knew about my head and junk and she lost it. i just layed on the floor cuz i couldn't get up. my mom looked at my head and it started bleeding again. she took me over to mercy and i had to get stitches. the doctor said that i would be ok. so then i came home and i went to bed and i woke up at 3 in the afternoon 2day. so i'm ok right now and i had something to eat 2day. i had an apple and i had a tv dinner but i didn't want to eat so i barfed up the tv dinner cuz i felt so disgustingly full. so i just layed around and rested all day. dennis called me to make sure i was ok cuz he didn't believe me and i said yeah and he wanted to come over for a little while and watch clerks with me and i reely wanted him to come over and hang out like NORMAL friends do but my mom never lets me have friends over and i hate it cuz i would love to have a friend over juss to hang out and watch a movie or junk like that. it would be fun. hopefully it'll happen soon. i told dennis maybe we can chill next week. i'm gunna clean and junk so that it could happen cuz my om always says that the house is a mess that's y no one can come over well she won't have an excuse if i clean hehe. well i don't feel well right now so i'm gunna go rest a little. it's been3 days since i cut last. i'm trying to get over this. sadly my friends at the party accidentally saw so they know i did it again and they were concerned but i told them i won't do it again and that i'll try to stop so we'll see how that goes. well i better go . i hope everyone is doing well. <3

ps. sorry this frickin thing is so damn long.

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