!5 (SaVe us from the PaIn)'s Blurty

Oh no for June
It's been weeks sence I cutt, atleast it would have been.
Caved in tonight, but I did good I guess.
Seeing my new boyfriend for the first time, real good thing.
I've been telling him all the bullshit that's been going on.
He even gave my Ex-Best Friend a bad nick name, because he was so angry at her.
I am wondering however, if because I'm fading with my cutting.
If I'm doing it in other ways, I didn't go to sleep lastnight till 6:00AM.
And then got up at 1:10PM, I was talking with my best guy friend.
And then I didn't eat untill, just now I went and got dinner at WhiteHen.
I was going to join a eating disorder comunity, but I thought it should be left for thouse who really have a problem.
I am worried tho, the las thing I need is to have cutting and an eating problem.
I was talking with my friend Steve and he was saying, I was sleep deprived.
And that I needed sleep badly, but I'm not tired.
I then told him I was having chest pains, and haveing problems taking a full breath.
And like now a part of my back hurts, and breathing is becoming a hard task.
And then on top of all this crap, my GrandMa's wedding is in June.
Which means now I really can't cutt, at all!
I'm wearing white and it's short sleved, belive me I tried to find something long sleved.
But no luck so I had no choice, this sucks.
And I'm scared I'm going to snap under this pain and pesure, and let my GrandMa down.
I don't know we'll see, hope you're all doing ok.
XOXO

Current Mood: sick