Maybe the Suns finally rising...?? :-/ Well it should be coming up close to a month maybe since the last time ive cut... idk i feel like my outlook is different now for some reason. I mean yea i still have my rough times when i want to do it sooooooo incredibly bad. && i know this is lame but me and my best friend (brandi) are going to try and make our new years resolution to stop. and after 6 years of on/off cutting this is the first time ive ever decided to try it.
yea im sure this is just another one of my "phases" where i tell myself that im gonna stop this time. and i guess i can give myself a tiny piece of credit cuz there are times when ill go for 6 months...but then something snaps and i fall apart all over again..
The latest thing was a pencil. Something so simple can cause just as much damage...id get upset and just start digging with it..was kinda fun cuz you could draw all sorts of things with such detail and precision.. :-/ horrid i know.. but its WAYYYY better then what i normaly do.
I think my mom knows i still do it. but im not really sure. she probably doesnt know how to handel it.. or its the fact that she just doesn't have time to "deal with me" idk and honestly i dont really care. it just makes less problems for me to not have my mom breathing down my throat or asking me every day if im "okay"
well i guess im done babbeling for now..:-/
<3
lena
Have a happy new year everyone. :-)
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