Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

Time	Event
6:53a	bleed me beautiful hmm. so lindsey is being her stupid self again. i dont even knwo im about to give up and be like FUCK IT. i always see if seh can hang out and she never ever tries to hang out with me soo what ever im done. i cant stand the fact that we were inseberable and things just change in a flash its soo difficult to cope with, well today my mom and me went to wal-mart to get some christmas present for my dad and i totally stole a whole new 10 pack of razors =] Sooo happy right now i cant wait till i get to use em becuase right now im on the verge but i am tryyying not to because i want to see if i can over come myself and just be strong for once but i know its not going to last but hey i can still say i tried. So Kevin Lindsey && Cliff decided to pin me down the other day and destroy my face with markers and my arms . pretty much my WHOLE body. and kevin was the only nice one who decided he would come and help me get all of this off b/c half of it was permanent marker. and we were geting it off my arms and i pulled my sleeve up and my arms were hacked and the scars and everything was showing and he is one of those people who are REALLLY agaisnt cutting. it was horrible b.c after he went to lindsey and started talking about it and i didnt knwo what to tell her to tell him becuase if he found out he wouldnt talk to me agian and i really dont want to loose one of my best friends. so i dont knwo what to do. everything is falling apart slowly my friends dad just died yesterday in a house fire. uggh i feel so bad for him because its right before christmas and they said it was caused by a Playstation maybe wow how lame . and its like omg i dont even know what to say and there family is close to my family so now i have to go to the funereal && i know that's just going to mess me up and right before the holidays. wow. i dont even know i wish things could go well for a little while maybe just to get a taste of a happy day. well thats all. ♥ Happy Holidays Everyone♥ xoxo. .x/3 carissa Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Slipknot- duality (1 Comment | Comment on this)
7:03p	*Alone Once Again* My hearts ben broken... I was cheated on, and then broken up with... I'll be years before I can love again... Help me put my heart back together, there's alot of parts... ... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: *Heart Song* (3 Comments | Comment on this)
11:33p	DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL LYRICS "If You Can't Leave It Be, Might As Well Make It Bleed" What you've found sure upsets you Never saw it coming did you? Its easy to be surprised with both your eyes sewn closed Handled with great precision, another thoughtless execution You're the subject of this exhibition A willing cadaver, a willing cadaver. Scalpel, sutured. Made whole again. These cuts are leaving creases Trace the scars, fit the pieces Tell your story, you don't need to say a word. Call off the cavalry, can't save a wretch like me. Clean this with kerosene. If you can't leave it be might as well make it bleed. Scalpel, sutured. Made whole again. Your wires are frayed, can't fire right You look better when out of sight You were not made to stand and fight There's something better wrong with you Your wires are frayed, can't fire right You look better when out of sight You were not made to fire right There's something better wrong with you Your pulse is anemic, you're tired of the fire You're bruising too easy and falling behind And no one is waiting for you. And no one is waiting for you. And no one is waiting for you. Call off your quarantine, can't save the rest from me Clean this with kerosene. If you can't leave it be might as well make it bleed. Scalpel, Sutured. Made whole again. Your wires are frayed, can't fire right You look better when out of sight You were not made to stand and fight There's something better wrong with you [x2] so i broke up with shane on monday, it had been 8months, and then in one conversation, it was over. i alwyas knew i wasn't attracted to him enough to be together forever.. but i don't know. i have cut 3 times, i dunno whas gotten into me. well i really REALLY don't want to talk about it. Current Mood: uh Current Music: coheed and cambria (Comment on this)

<< Previous Day

2005/12/22 [Calendar]

Next Day >>