[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends View]
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
| Time | Event |
| 3:42a | mwahahaha oh lord....... so i didn't get to bed until about six in the morning... and before i went to bed i cut. i'm not sure how many times, but i did this really good one on my leg... it bled so much...and i'm kind of weird, cuz i have this notebook, and when i cut i wipe the blood on the pages of the notebook, but anyway, this one was bleeding so much! more than they normally do, but it made me so happy! it eventually stopped bleeding soo much, so i was able to pull on my jammies, and then i went to bed.... then i had to work today, and when i was all ready for work, before i left, i pulled out my razor and made about 7 more cuts on both of my arms, top and undersides.... haha, and then i was wearing a sweater at work, but i would pull up the sleeves for a while, and then realize that someone might see, so i'd pull them down really quick.... but anyway, yeah, i have so many cuts on my thighs, and since a lot of them were fresh it was hurting me to sit in ways that put too much pressure on them.... but anyway, i just thought i would share... Current Mood: time for bed! Current Music: my chem--> early sunsets over monroeville |
| 8:46a | I reallly wish that the people on this earth that are such fucking fakes. imposters. fruads. and the great pretenders. would just trulyy die. ugh i cannot stand anymore effing attention getters anymore. they just put in a bad word for people. They go around prancing and showing off them selves because they crave the attention they need it to get through the day they look forward to the questions that everyone has in store for them. Only if they knew that people make fun of there dumbass's for craving the attention and prancing around like a fake and a complete jack ass. They need to go through the pain that some of us go through they need to feel what its like to be hated, to hate yourself. to want to die. to crying every night for no reason. wanting help. && theres no answer for any question you have. AHHH. I hate people like this seriosally. - Okay enough ranting about that im getting to this part. So there is this girl Sarah. well she thinks that she is depressed. and likes to go around and like nics her skin with a DAMN SAFETY PIN and thinks she is a major "cutter" . adn when she "cuts" herself she will come to school the next day with a damn short sleeve shirt on and putting her arms in everyones face as much as she possibly can to get some attention so everyone will see it. && then she will have to come up with some lame excuse like a dog scratched her PLEASE. come on now a 2 yr. old could come up with a better excuse. So 2 days ago i read this girls away message and it says "the cuts on my heart dont hurt as bad as the ones on my legs" so she comes to school the next day in this HOOCHIE mini skirt thinking shes soo sexy and her legs are all "cut" up from her feet to her upper thighs. it looks like she had ran into a sharp corner or something because these werent cuts. AHH. and then she goes down the hallways doing cart-wheels and flips and all this shit in a damn skirt. Lorrrd. i cannot stand ATTENTION GETTERSS.. . . im sorry i just cant stand this girl and she truly is on my last nerve and im about to say something too her. Well hopefully Everyone is doing great!! xoxo Love you all. x3.carissa. |
| 10:58a | Well... needless to say in the midst of all the trouble something good happened... last night I admitted to cutting... Then my boyfriend was going to tell my grandma.. not a good thing... I was freaking out cus I thought he was going to end up breaking up with me because of it.... He said he wasnt... well we had a long talk... most of it was me crying and him trying to calm me... but anywho to the good thing.... I now have a fiance... Don't worry I know what I am doing and I know that I am NOT rushing... we're getting married october 29 2009.... but at least I have the security of knowing he is totally mine and I wont lose him..The bad thing I am going to write about is... I have to go to my moms on christmas... I know Ill end up freaking out.. but NO cutting.... I'll get hurt enough by her... I havent been there is 7 months and I know she'll end up hitting me cus I KNOW we'll get into a fight... she hit my right in front of My boyfriend when she was staying with my dad.... but at least this time if she does hit me I'm not afraid to call dcfs.... So Im not worring... Ill let what happens happen... Ill talk to you all later.. probably after x-mas... Pray for me... during x-mas.... cus there's know telling what she'll do... -- Bre |
| 10:59a | I've been branded a freak...literally... Current Mood:  weirdCurrent Music: |
| 5:32p | I knew it was too good to be true!!! well scratch that entry I just wrote.. I knew everything was too good to be true and oh buddy was I fucking right... Okay my boyfriend left.. so I figured I would get on his messenger to write him a little "I love you" while he was gone... and guess who is back on his fucking list!? SHELBY!!!! He knows I dont like her cus she had a crush on him.. and he told me before that I was the only one on his list... a fucking lie! I guess this is what I get... pay back for cutting on my wrist.... he asked me to marry him last night... am I not a good person? Or something cus I keep doing something wrong... I fucking hate myself!! I try and try.. I've been with him for 7 months... He can't leave me.. and I know he isnt but I dont know why he has these people on his messenger... now it makes me ask " does he talk to these people at school?" when he told me he doesnt... OHHH I'm just a sqrewup!!! I am gonna go and cry my fucking eyes out now... thanks for listening to my bitch and complain... you're the only one who does.. - Bre Current Mood:  disappointed |
| 8:23p | so i just joined...but i've always read...i havent cut in about 2 months and its the hardest thing i've ever done and im only doing it to not hurt my best friend even though it stops my pain inside....and i hate all those faggots at my school that make fun of people that cut...they say they don't understand ...they don;t need too...we feel the pain inside and cutting takes our mind off of it? am i right? ...well about 8 yrs ago when i was little...i was in the car with my dad, we both almost died, he was an alcoholic and we got into a realy bad accident. but we had some people up there on our shoulders apparently...well daddy dearest has been sober for about 7yrs and has started drinkin again...and he drives and my aunt says im gunna get ulcers cuz im so worried and im reallyy scared...i hateeee when they both come home drunk. i just wanna cry. but i cant b/c they don;t know i know...there home now..i just heard the car..ill tell the rest of my tale later |
| << Previous Day |
2005/12/10 [Calendar] |
Next Day >> |