[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends View]
Friday, December 2nd, 2005
| Time | Event |
| 3:59p | How is everyone?? I haven't been on forever. I've had play pratice everyday after school til like 9. and tonight is Opening Night. I don't have a big part, but I don't care. I haven't cut in 2 weeks and I'm really proud of myself. I've been keeping busy with the play, and nothing's really wrong. so I'm in good moods and it's really fun. well I gotta go eat. then I gotta go to the school. talk to you kids later. have a good night! love you all. ♥ Current Mood:  excited |
| 8:58p | took about 3 new box-cutter blades from work today.... Current Mood:  groggy |
| 9:23p | ugh Hey Everyone, I'm new. I used to write in here a long time ago but I forgot my user name..tear. Where do i start? last year i was "diagnosed" with clinical depression. I'm starting to think it came from my ex boyfriend. I was in an unhealthy relationship. It was one of those ones where you 2 just obsess over one another. When we first started dating it was amazing. I fell in love with him. As the months went by things weren't as amazing. He started to admit to liking other girls as we dated, but I hung on. I mean, he told me he loved me and he wanted to be with me. Time went by, I lost my virginity to him, and same of him with me. Then things went downhill and we broke up for time#1. This lasted a day. Then he wanted to go on dates with these girls i liked. It killed me. No matter what I said or what I did, I could never ever change his mind. No matter how much I cried, no matter how much I begged, he was gunna do what he wanted. sigh It was around then that I just started cutting all the time. Everyday. Most of the time, about 15 times a day or more. I was just basically dead inside. But he still told me he loved me, so I of course, stayed with him. I was such a fool. I still am..we offically broke everything off in August, a year and a half later. So i kept cutting, and cutting and cutting. At one point I counted 45 cuts on my arm. But he found out and asked me to stop. I tried, I tried so hard because he said he would never talk to me again if I didn't stop. I eventually did. I still love him. I feel like the worst person ever because I deserve so much better. But he still means everything to me. I hadn't cut in about 3-4 months which is about the longest time ever, (I started cutting 2-3 years ago). I just started back up. I just feel so empty inside... Thanks for listening |
| << Previous Day |
2005/12/02 [Calendar] |
Next Day >> |