Thursday, December 1st, 2005

Time	Event
6:51p	i hate it parents suck major ass the only person(my boyfriend) who makes me happy (finally after last year) ...i cant even see him cuz they are not letting me..yea..and now im worried he'll break up with me or something..which i dont think he will but hes getting really frustrated and i dont blame him.. im struggling enuf just with not cutting he found the cuts on my leg, and made me promise not to do it anymore..hes really worried i cant keep my promise anymore and i havent yet but im getting pushed realll close to it i need fucking help and my parents dont even care they just think that if i hang out with him ill have sex and get pregnant or something but if i dont hang out with him...well lets just say it wont be good... i can see how much he is struggling with this, thinking my parents hate him and his family and wont let me see him.. and i hate it..i hate that i cant be with him im so scared that our relationship will fall apart.. cuz how am i going to deal with it? i mean who is gonna make me happy? my family doesnt..obviously my friends do. but not to the extent that he can.. im not saying i need him to live..but i need him to be happy and just someone that cares about me soo much..and i love him so much i know im pouring my heart out lol...but i gotta do it..thats why i love this thing so much.. thanks girls for listening much love Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: from first to last (2 Comments | Comment on this)
7:46p	okay, so i'm very pissed off. people are stupid. i know i'm not going to kill myself because i want to watch all these people die. so anyway i'm going to bitch for a little bit [ ignore if you'd like ] So, people are arrogant bitches. they have nothing to be depressed about yet they think it will make them cool. so they persist and push my buttons about this. they fucking complain to me, yet they never listen. they ask for help, yet they keep making excuses for themselves to be like that. and you can tell behind every word they say it's just because they want to be noticed. not so much attnetion craves as much as fucking idiots who refuse to understand.they say they cut and tend to use the label "emo" when talking about themselves. this pisses me off even more. if you will, every single person on the face of this planet is emo because emo means emotional. everyone has emotions everyone's emotional. so she's calling herself pretty much normal. but hence the fact that she's not normal i will go on with my rant. she wants to get into drugs, she thinks it will make her cool. so she constantly talks about them. anything about weed that comes from her mouth makes me want to slit her throat. everything that she says about smoking makes me want to hurt her even more. so when i tell her she's being stupid about it she gets bitchy and defensive. but with my sick protection over peoples feelings i can't bring myself to tell her she's a dumb fuck who couldn't get popular because her fat mouth never closes, she's stalkerish and no one really likes her. they tolerate her but hate her arrogance and need for attention. i ignore her but i always get sucked in to having to talk to her. and what she talks about is cigarettes and getting pot. ok, so i smoke [on occasion], i drink, i cut. but i don't fucking parade it around. if people ask i'm not afraid to share because i've stopped caring. but she should have a fucking neon sign that says she "does it" because, hell, she tells everyone who doesn't care anyway. now she's saying she has a ED, which she doesn't. i doubt she knows what one is. but that fucking pisses me off more because i know people who actually siffer and hate it. she says she "loves" it. she's a comulsive liar and needs to be shot. she wants to be someone, but she says she doesn't want to be noticed, she talks shit about everyone behind their back and talks shit about herself for the attention. these people get me fucking pissed beyond reason and it takes a fucking lot for me to flip a shit. i think i'll shoot her myself one day. cuz she's so "suicidal" i think i'd spare her the pleasure of killing herself. sorry for this annoying post. (4 Comments | Comment on this)

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